WhenTheSakuraFall
by daphne's storm
Summary: How Kotoko Aihara said farewell to Naoki Irie and his family and how even the most persistent unrequited love needs to have a graceful end. A story about how loving yourself is the beginning of happiness.
1. Chapter 1 WhenTheSakuraFall

When the Sakura Fall.

Author's Note : My pre-teen has gotten me into manga(!) The first one I read was Itazura Na Kiss — although I had watched Boys Over Flowers and Playful Kiss I had not really known that Playful Kiss was actually a live action adaptation of a manga. So I decided to read the original, and THEN watch the Japanese live action version. This story is a one-shot taking off from episode 15 ("Goodbye Irie"). I was very conflicted about Kotoko's character and for me that episode was her ultimate redemption – she was so mature and I loved her! The rest of the time, I could actually relate to Naoki and his irritation at her ditziness ( hides ). When Shigeo Aihara tells Kotoko to leave the Irie home and let go with dignity — I cried so hard. So anyway, here goes nothing.

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything Itazura Na Kiss related and not infringement is intended. I however, do own this particular story and plot. Just a fan girl at heart with impatient typing fingers.

The petals fell around her, their pale pink and white beauty unnoticed.

She was tiny slip of a girl — all big eyes that could sparkle like a child on Christmas eve and a mouth that could break out into a wide open smile so infectious that everyone around her felt like they had to smile too just to keep her company. But today, neither the sparkle nor the smile were in evidence and though it was spring, the wind still blew cold in the afternoons.

Aihara Kotoko walked home as slowly as she could, part of her dreading and yet another part longing to see the person around whom her life had evolved for the last four years at home.

Home.

Soon it would not be home anymore.

She had been living her life with blinders on for the last four years, seeing her life as a straight line, with Irie-kun in it at the end. But after Mr. Irie's welcome home party and the Oizumi's visit, what had seemingly been a straight road ahead of her had wavered, and twisted and turned — and she could no longer see Irie Naoki the way she had always dreamed.

And that night, after the Oizumis had left, Aihara Shigeo had spoken his heart to his daughter.

"You have to let Naoki go now. You also need to know when to bow out gracefully."

And she had been quiet, because she didn't know what to say.

"And you know, this might leave Naoki with a lasting good impression of you — and maybe someday, he will look back and say. — that Kotoko, she was a good woman too."

And she had been quiet, because she knew he was right.

That evening, when the family had gone to bed she had volunteered to do the cleaning up. Smiling a bit sadly as she realised this would be the last time, Kotoko did her work well and thoroughly, wanting to leave the kitchen sparkling for Obasama. The Irie-Oizumi formal betrothal ceremony was schedule for the next weekend. But before that event happened, her father had already told her of his plans to move out a few days before the Yuino.

She had just finished the last of the cleaning up and was about to head up the stairs when she heard the front door opening and closing — Naoki, she surmised, as he had driven Sahoko home and the rest of the family were asleep.

"Tadaima" Naoki said, startling her – she thought he had not seen her, hidden in the dimly lit doorway to the living room as she was.

"Okaeri." Kotoko responded. "You…that took a while…" she stuttered — and then cursed herself, realising how pathetic she sounded, so she turned away hurriedly not really expecting a response.

Most likely than not, she thought, he was annoyed by her words and thinking that she was stalking him again by waiting up for him. She lifted her chin and decided that she would live up to her father's wish — that she would bow out with grace and dignity. Even if she had spent the last four years of her life behaving like a pathetic fool, like a clown…like a beggar waiting for crumbs of affection and in her mind, romanticising his cruel put downs and sarcasm, this was not the last impression she would leave of herself.

As expected, Naoki ignored her and turning his back without a word, began climbing up the stairs.

But she wanted to say goodbye properly (even if he did not know that she and her father were leaving the next morning) — to at least leave him with that last and probably only, good impression of her, that she was a gracious in accepting defeat.

"I understand now." Kotoko said quietly, making Naoki pause midway up the stairs.

The soft, quiet voice was so unlike her. She had always been loud and boisterous, as full of life in expressing her little joys as she was in expressing her despair. This was not a voice he had heard before.

"I had a chance to talk to her earlier…and she is very nice. I understand now. Because…if you had someone like that who loved you, why wouldn't you marry them?" Kotoko continued, pausing as the truth of her own words dawned on herself as well — because OIzumi Sahako was everything she was not, nor could ever be.

"I hope you...I wish you two happiness. So, anyway. Gooodbye." Kotoko said, finishing what she came to say. And she turned away, wishing to hurry back into the darkness of the quiet house before he saw how much it had cost her to say those words.

"I hope you find a good man too." Naoki said not turning to her. (And secretly wondering who this strange, serious, quiet girl was).

She said nothing but he saw her nod, almost imperceptibly, as she walked away and he climbed the rest of the stairs to his room.

(And a part of Irie Naoki, heir of Pandai, genius of Tonan, wondered why he didn't hear the patter of quick footsteps hurrying behind him or why there was no small hand reaching out to clutch the back of his shirt, asking for attention. And for once in his life, Irie Naoki was not sure if he knew the answer).

The house was quiet after Naoki retired to his room and the small girl felt like the breath she had been holding tautly inside her chest could finally be let go. She ended up looking out over the garden lit softly by the moon, on the porch swing. Taking off her shoes, she tucked her feet under her and let herself cry, though she made no sound. The lone cherry tree in the corner was in full bloom and in the moonlight, the sakura glimmered pale, touched with silver, petals falling to the ground as the wind blew, like the tears running down the little girl's face as she said goodbye to her first kiss, her first love, the part of her life that had belonged to this house and this family.

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Due to complications in the lease contract, the Aihara's were not able to move out of the Irie household on Friday as planned. Nonetheless, Aihara Shigeo had already spoken in advance about the planned move to his best friend and Mrs. Irie, requesting them to keep it amongst the three of them, at any rate Naoki was preoccupied with his upcoming Yuino formal engagement ceremony, Yuki would in all likelihood just be relieved they were leaving and he also wanted to minimise the toll such a discussion would take on Kotoko. Mrs. Irie had as expected, cried and tried to convince him that they should stay. He was touched by her protestations that she loved Kotoko as a daughter but his resolve was firm. In fact, in the last few weeks he had often berated himself for allowing this situation to continue as long as it had, when it was very clear to everyone except to Kotoko that Naoki did not, and would never love Kotoko the way she did him.

For all her shortcomings however, he was proud of his daughter — he knew that she wasn't the brightest girl, that she was oftentimes immature, that she often spoke before she thought, and was clumsy and awkward. But Kotoko had always been a sweet girl, someone who was kind and helpful, she was courageous and determined, she thought of others before herself and was always good natured and caring despite the way others treated her. And Shigeo hoped that one day, she would find a man who would see her as she really was.

In the last few days, Shigeo mused, Kotoko seemed to have taken his advice. Instead of hurrying home to be as near Naoki as possible, she had instead volunteered to work the tables in the restaurant. And although she did not cry or even speak about Naoki's impending Yuino, she had been quiet and serious. But unlike the previous times, when for example, the mistaken conclusion that Naoki was living with Matsumoto Yuuki had led Kotoko to stop eating or sleeping and to mope about dramatically, this time Kotoko simply became a calmer, quieter albeit sadder version of herself. While Shigeo's heart broke seeing his beloved child so dimmed, he realised that she had begun to accept the situation and from there, with time, he hoped she would move on.

"Why don't you leave early and go home?" Shigeo suggested, intercepting Kotoko on her way to the kitchen with a tray of dirty dishes. "You must have some last minute packing to do?"

Kotoko looked up at her father — her mind was miles away — and realised he was speaking to her.

"Yes Otousan, if you think you can manage without me?"

"Of course, of course. Be careful going home."

"I will" Kotoko replied, as she took off her apron and went to the utility room to change into her street clothes.

She was about to step out when Kinnosuke approached her.

"Hey." He said, awkwardly placing a light hand on her arm. She looked at him questioningly. "Are you ok?"

She nodded, giving him a small smile, thankful for her friend. Kinnosuke was loud, and brash, uncouth and awkward — but he had always been one of the few people aside from her father, Jinko and Satomi whom she felt cared for her unconditionally. His noise and clumsy but well meaning attempts to cheer her up had made the last few weeks bearable somewhat,

"So…I was wondering…if..if you didn't have plans tomorrow..would you like to go out with me?"

Kotoko paused, part of her feeling that she would be somehow unfaithful to Naoki if she went out with him — and yet, the rational part of her brain told her that Naoki had no claim, nor had he ever wanted to have any claim to her. And despite her misgivings, Kotoko gave him a small smile and brief nod.

"Great!" Kinnosuke exclaimed, clearly beside himself with joy. "Shall I pick you up at one?"

"No…no..that won't be necessary…I can meet you here in the afternoon… so you can finish your lunch shift.."

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The house was quiet as Kotoko let herself in. Obasama and Ojisama were probably still out shopping for the gifts to be exchanged at the Yuino the next morning and there seemed to be no sign of Yuki. Mr and Mrs. Irie had tried to be tactful about it, avoiding mentioning their plans to shop while Kotoko was around. That morning, an awkward silence had descended upon the room as Mrs. Irie had paused midway through a question asking Naoki if Sahoko would prefer the traditional fan to be given as a gift symbolising prosperity at the Yuino to be in ivory or cherry wood, noticing as Kotoko had quietly entered the dining room.

Pretending she did not hear and pretending that she did not notice Naoki looking expectantly at her as if waiting for a reaction, Kotoko simply greeted everyone with a small smile and quietly finished her breakfast. Kotoko managed to give Mrs. Irie a reassuring smile and squeezed her shoulder as she sat down beside Naoki's mother at her usual place, avoiding looking at Naoki though he sat across from her. Later that day, she congratulated herself on a good job — she had smiled, she had even conversed (though she could not for the life of her remember what she had said) and most importantly, she had not cried a single tear. Long tortuous minutes later, she rose from the table and asked permission to leave for school, going as quietly as she had come in. She had spent the day in school, keeping to herself and avoiding even Jinko and Satomi, until it had been time to report to her father's restaurant and she had been there most of the afternoon.

There seemed to be no one else home yet and with a sigh of what she realised was relief, there seemed to be no sign of Naoki either — although it was still early.

Making as little noise as she possibly could, Kotoko went up to her room and began to pack away her things. What little furniture had survived the destruction of their house had lain in a warehouse for the last three years and would be sent directly to their new house so all that Kotoko needed to put away were her clothing, books and personal effects. There was not much despite having lived in the house for several years. Or at least, there were not many tangible things. Her memories were, however, a different story altogether.

Quietly and methodically, Kotoko gathered the clothing from her closet, carefully folding each item and even smiling a little upon realising how much of her clothes were in various shades of pink. She had very few clothes when she had first come — only her uniforms and the few things that had survived the house. But Obasama had been more than generous, excited to finally have another female in the house, she had frequently gifted Kotoko with girly clothing. Perhaps, she thought, it was time to change a little and to stop dressing like a little girl. Maybe after they moved, she could ask Satomi to help her look different, older as she was, and less like the flighty girl that she had been.

When she was almost done, the cabinet looked forlorn and empty, and with a sigh, Kotoko reached for the last items in the closet, her Tonan uniform in the rear corner. When they graduated, she had disposed of all her uniforms — except for this particular set, because it was the one she wore to graduation and the one she had been wearing the night Naoki had given her her first kiss.

For a few seconds, she thought of bringing it with her but with a small shake of her head, Kotoko decided that when she left the Irie house this time, and for good, she would also leave behind her unrequited love for Naoki Irie and everything that reminded her thereof. So Kotoko carefully placed the uniform in large paper bag and left it on the closet floor, leaving a note for Obasama thanking her in advance and requesting that the contents of the entire bag could be disposed of.

The closet was finally empty when Kotoko noticed that the room was getting dark. Getting up from the floor after closing the latch on the last of her suitcases, Kotoko rolled the suitcases into the closet and closed the door, switching on the small table lamp which cast a gentle golden glow over the room. She looked around, with the suitcases stowed in the closet, the room she had lived in looked exactly the same as it always did — and she realised it would not even remain this way for long. Once Yuki reclaimed his room, all traces of pink — and of her— would vanish and she would just be a memory of the stupid girl who once lived with them.

Kotoko moved to the desk, it was mostly clear of her things now, except for a picture frame housing the photo Obasama had taken of her and Naoki at graduation. Her little hands lifted the picture frame gently, a tender finger tracing the lines of a younger Naoki in the photo.

Kotoko felt tears threatening to fall again — it actually surprised her that she had held out this long before breaking down — and she thought, it was ok. She would let herself be sad and cry — after all, she was all alone and this was her time to say goodbye.

So letting the tears fall, Kotoko opened the desk drawer and gathered the few mementos she had kept there — a couple of photographs Mrs. Irie had given her of Naoki and herself studying together, a flyer for the tennis team tryouts, a small day book which she had used as a diary decorated with the hopes and dreams of a lovestruck girl, adorned with cute stickers and scribbles and at the very bottom, the little envelope that contained her confession to Naoki.

She remembered it so clearly — the hours she spent practicing her handwriting, checking drafts of the letter to make sure it would be perfect, writing down the final version on a pale pink sheet of paper embossed with her favorite cherry blossoms that she had bought especially for the purpose and finally, slipping the single, fragile piece of paper into the matching cherry blossom envelope along with a thousand hopes and dreams.

Taking out the few things, she stacked them on top of the framed photograph, not quite knowing what to do with them. She didn't know how long she had been staring down at the little pile — the little pile of useless memories which was all that Irie Naoki and Aihara Kotoko's one sided love affair had ever amounted to — when she heard a small knock and her bedroom door open.

"Tadaima! Hey Baka! Where is everyone?" Irie Yuki said, entering the room but not noting that anything was amiss — the room was always neat and clean, and too pink for his taste. Kotoko quickly wiped her face of tears on the sleeve of her sweater and plastered a fake smile on her face before turning to face the intruder.

Irie Yuki had grown much since she had first come to this house, at 13 he was now taller than her, his baby face now settling into sharper and more angular planes of young adulthood, looking so much like the Naoki she had fallen in love with on her first day at Tonan that it brought a pang to her chest. Come to think about it, Yuki was only a few months younger than Naoki had been on the day she had first seen him delivering the welcoming address at Tonan.

"Ah…okaeri Yuki-kun…your parents are out shopping for the Yuino…." Kotoko replied, willing her voice not to crack. "My father is still at Fugoyoshi and I don't think your onii-chan is home yet."

"What are you doing?" Yuki asked curiously, not quite sure how to deal with this new, quieter Kotoko. He had not said anything but since the omiai, he had noticed that Kotoko had changed significantly. He had been expecting her usual hysterics and drama but instead, she had seemed to had withdrawn. Even his cutting remarks had been met only with acquiescence and the occasional small smile. Yuki kept waiting for the real Kotoko to pop out — to respond to his teasing, to declare that she was going to stop this engagement, to cry — to…to do something. Anything. Anything but this pale, almost silent version of the Kotoko he knew. A genius like his brother, it bothered Yuki when things did not turn out as he logically predicted. And this new Kotoko was unlike anything he had had forethought…and if he were being honest with himself, he missed the old her.

He moved closer, his curiosity piqued by the sight of the small pile of things on the desk — particularly the fact that the big framed graduation photograph that used to hold the place of honour on Kotoko's study table was lying at the bottom the pile.

"Oh..well..that is..has Obasama told you?" Kotoko asked nervously. "We…that is…outosan and I are moving out soon…I was just clearing out my old things…aren't you glad you're getting your room back? It will look just the same once you get the pink things out..it will be like I was never here!" Kotoko realized she was rambling, but Yuki reminded her so much of Naoki that she could not seem to help herself.

She just needed to chatter long enough to irritate him so that he would leave her alone she thought, busying her hands with the needless task of organising the practically bare tabletop. Her hands were shaking, she wished he would leave already, reaching out again for the small pile in front of her, she re-stacked the things again — until Yuki reached out and placed his hand over hers, stilling her nervous movement.

"Baka…" he muttered, though this time it lacked the asperity that usually characterised the tens of thousands of other times he had called her stupid. And without another word, Yuki hugged her tightly and let go, almost just as unemotional as his brother, Yuki was immediately embarrassed, turning and starting to walk quickly towards the door.

Suddenly, without knowing why, Kotoko felt the need to do one thing — so she grabbed the small pink letter on the top of the pile.

"Yuki-chan?" She said, her voice steady and a small smile coming through despite her tears.

"Yes?" The young man asked, turning to face her.

"I never really got to do this properly…and be properly rejected…and I know you are not Naoki..but may I… will you help me?" the girl said, holding the small envelope with the sakura in both hands.

Hearing no objection from Yuki, Kotoko approached him and bowed.

"My name is Aihara Kotoko from Class F. I am in love with your brother Irie Naoki. Please accept this on his behalf." The girl said, bowing low and proffering the letter to the little boy — now a young man.

"Arigato gozaimas Aihara-san but he cannot return your affections. Gomen nasai." Yuki responded formally, taking the letter and bowing deeply from the waist as well.

Yuki turned and walked to the door, "Ja ne oneesan." He said, closing the door softly behind him, knowing that while she had not cared in the past, she would not want him to see her cry this time.

Author's Postscript:

Just something that has been sitting in my head and demanding to be let out since I discovered this series.

I hope you enjoyed this story. I have left this open ended just in case the muse visits me again and I am able to either create a spin off of this or continue.

Reviews would be very much appreciated.

Love, Daphne


	2. Chapter 2 When Summer Begins

CHAPTER 2

NATSU GA HAJIMARU (When Summer Begins)

I can't promise a full length story — yet. But I thought I'd like (and maybe you would like) to see how Naoki felt about Kotoko's leave taking. So treat this is a one-shot spin off of When The Sakura Fall or is it better called a "two shot" now? The previous story received only 5 reviews and most were from anonymous guests so I apologise I am unable to respond personally. I also don.t know how much interest this story has generated — but authors are a self-indulgent lot so I thought I'd try and see if I can drum up some sympathy for Naoki in my brain.

DISCLAIMER : I do not own Itazura Na Kiss or its characters. The copyright to this particular story is mine and no infringement is intended.

* * *

**WHEN SUMMER BEGINS – A SAKURA STORY**

NAOKI POV

There was something missing. There was a certain lack of some undefinable, ineffable, unnamed something — and the fact that he could not identify what it was bothered the perfect Irie Naoki.

After the Yuino, after their respective families had left for home, Sahako had invited Naoki to attend a piano recital by a favorite artist of hers. Like everything he did with Sahoko, the evening at the concert had been perfect – changing out of the elaborate kimono she had worn to the Yuino, Sahoko had reappeared in a demure yet understatedly elegant dress, she had been soft spoken, modest and quiet, her commentary (expressed only during the appropriate breaks during the concert) intelligent and non-controversial, her demeanour exemplary — expressing only her displeasure at the man seated in front of them who had had the audacity to fall asleep during the performance. Unbidden, a smile had fought its way to his lips — a flash of his imagination calling to mind a picture of someone who would have done the same.

In truth, he himself had been bored but was too well bred to do something as uncouth as fall asleep in the middle of a performance. It was not that he hated it — it was more similar to the way the sound of running water at first calms you, then makes you feel lethargic or until you block it out and it ceases to impinge on your consciousness. He supposed that to be fair, he had more or less enjoyed attending the performance but it did not really rouse strong feelings inside him. It was pleasant, it was something the well-heeled Tokyo urbanite was expected to do, and it proceeded in the linear, well-ordered manner it was expected to. No surprises No drama. And this was what he wanted right?

Glancing at the paragon of young Japanese womanhood by his side, Naoki realized that the same things could be said about Oizumi Sahoko. To the casual spectator, they were the perfect couple – young, well dressed, clearly well-off and dignified for their age. Naoki expected no less from his chosen bride. He was no stranger to perfection and sought it in all things. The perfect silence of a quiet life. The perfection of a grade well deserved. The order and predictability that had been absent in his life for the last four years. He should be happy.

And he WOULD be happy, he told himself. They would marry. They would buy a comfortably sized house which Sahoko would furnish tastefully and he would come home every night to a smiling, perfumed, impeccably dressed wife who would serve him a perfectly prepared, healthy dinner. Eventually they would produce the requisite two children who would be as perfect as their parents while he succeeded his father at Pandai. He could see his life laid out before him — in an impeccably straight line. Everything perfect. Everything as planned. No surprises. No drama. How could anyone NOT be happy?

And he was - In a calm, composed, perfectly civilised way.

Yet in the rare moments when he allowed himself to doubt, he wondered why there was something in him that felt empty.

* * *

The house was eerily quiet, not in the way that slumbering homes were usually quiet, where the silence was occasionally broken by the sound of shuffling feet or the creaks and groans of the heating system, or the sound of the wooden floors settling. Instead, it seemed dead and lifeless. Like a home that had been left empty too long. Lonely. Even the air seemed stale and overly warm after the crisp spring evening air he had left outside.

Naoki shed his shoes at the foyer, wondering why Kotoko had not yet made an appearance — the way she did every night that he had gotten home since the Aiharas had moved in with his family. The silence seemed to echo – and he realized he had not seen her since breakfast the day before and he had not spoken to her since the night before that. Perhaps she was still sulking in her room he thought, or she had not heard the door (although she had always seemed to have a sixth sense that alerted her when he arrived or left).

Reaching down for his shoes, Naoki opened the shoe cabinet by the door to put them away as was his habit. He was pleased to note that the floor was devoid of other people's footwear – it perpetually annoyed him how that girl would never put her shoes away, cluttering the foyer with her tiny, frilly, girly footwear — how many pairs of shoes did one girl need anyway? And his mother was just as bad — buying her even more shoes just because they were "Cute".

Opening the large hall closet, the young man was momentarily taken aback by the fact that no little shoes fell on him as they usually did if he ever made the error of hastily opening the closet. And as he looked closer, there were now two empty shelves where Kotoko's various pairs of shoes used to be stored. Her shoes like her – were usually stored haphazardly, piles of colour spilling all over each other like a cascad of pastel and bows and flowers and frills constantly threatening to overflow and trespass unto the shelf where his kept his own immaculate, highly polished, perfectly aligned two pairs of dress shoes, two pairs of casual shoes, two pairs of athletic shoes and the winter boots which he would store in the attic as soon as the barometer signalled the beginning of summer — all in the safe, practical colours of black, brown, navy or white.

It seemed to him that it was like a metaphor for the way she had invaded his home - her noise and commotion, her dramatics and overzealous enthusiasm for everything always threatening to invade his orderly world.

He heaved a sigh of relief — it had been a long day and he felt strangely deflated. He wondered if this was how a newly engaged person was supposed to feel, but then he quickly brushed the thought aside. It was only logical that he would be tired after all the events of the past days. And at least he wouldn't have to deal with tidying up Kotoko's mess in the hall closet tonight or dealing with her drama.

Still wondering when she would finally make an appearance despite it being almost midnight, Naoki headed for the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator, stood at the kitchen counter taking long sips until the bottle was drained. He was just taking a break he told himself, he wasn't waiting for anyone.

It was still so quiet.

Turning off the kitchen lights, Naoki headed upstairs to the room he shared with Yuki. He supposed he would need to speak to his mother at some point about the housing situation after his wedding. He wondered if it was time to bring out those architectural plans he remembered tearing apart because at the time, the house expansion plans were made based on his mother's clumsy and overbearing plotting that he share the new room with Kotoko. He and Sahoko would need a room of their own once they were married though, but then he also considered the idea that it would perhaps be better to find a home of their own — fairly certain that his mother would not give Sahoko a warm welcome.

Reaching the top of the stairs, he was about to turn into his room when he noticed Kotoko's bedroom door ajar, a mellow light spilling out a strip of light into the otherwise dark hallway — telling himself she must have fallen asleep waiting up for him, he went to close it. it was certainly not to see her. Or speak to her.

Quietly walking down the hall and to the open bedroom, he rapped quietly and paused – hearing no response, Naoki smiled sardonically to himself — the baka must have fallen asleep with the lights on again he thought, slipping in quietly intending to turn off the lamp. He would leave the small hall light open he thought, the baka had night blindness and he wouldn't want her to trip and fall going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. it was not that he cared. He had been sleeping late the past few days – and he just did not want to be awoken by her usual commotion..

The room was empty.

The room was bare.

The bed was stripped of the pink frilly bedspread his mother had bought for Kotoko when she had first moved in, the princess canopy bare of the filmy, gauzy stuff that had once hung over it and the frilly pink curtains had been stripped from the windows.

The desk was empty, the big photograph of their graduation was gone and except for a forlorn looking stuffed rabbit that he recalled winning for her at some stupid claw machine she had badgered and nagged him to get during one of the times the family had gone out for dinner at the mall, the room looked almost the way it had been when it was Yuki's room. As if a small, noisy girl named Aihara Kotoko had never lived and cried, rejoiced and daydreamed and laughed in it.

The room was empty.

Noticing that the closet door was ajar and Naoki walked quickly, opening it — it was empty as well — and without really understanding why, he felt his chest clench, as if an invisible fist had reached through his body and clutched a tight grip upon his heart.

The sudden opening of the closet door rattled the empty hangers — all that was left was a paper bag in the corner of the closet, containing what looked to be Kotoko's high school uniform. On top, he saw the framed photograph from their high school graduation still in its elaborate frame. A folded note sat on top of the photo, and despite half-fearing what it would say, Naoki opened the piece of paper.

_Obasama,_

_I apologise for leaving these things for you to dispose of, but I could not bear to see them in the trash so I could not put them there myself. Perhaps the uniform can be donated somewhere Obasama? It was very special to me but I need to start letting go of these things to start my new life. Maybe there is some needy student in Tonan who could use them? I took such good care of this set that this is in the best condition — perhaps it will bring luck to someone else, because even if my own ending was not happy, I was wearing this on one of the most memorable days of my life._

_By the time you find these, otousan and I will have gone and I am sad that I could not say goodbye to Ojisama and the family in person, but perhaps it is best this way that we leave quietly from the house and your life so that things can go back to normal for everyone._

_I am writing this to thank you and Ojisama for welcoming us into you or home and into your life for the last three years — I did not realise that when I lost our home, that I would find something more precious — because I did not know then that the same meteor that took away our house would give me a mother. Gomawo if I am presuming too much Obasama but I wanted you to know that in my heart, you are my mother and I could never properly tell you how much it meant to me that you treated me like your own despite my stupid mistakes and my clumsiness. I am so grateful to have been a part of your life even if it was just for a short while._

_Please don't worry about me for I will just be nearby. At the end of it all, all I wanted was for Naoki to be happy and I realize now that this is still my greatest wish with all my heart even if it means that it is not with me. So Obasama, please smile on his wedding day and give them your blessings._

_I will be sending all my love and best wishes from wherever it is that I will be._

_Sayonara,_

_Kotoko_

Carefully, Naoki re-folded the letter, swallowing against a painful lump that seemed to have formed in his throat, and gently placed it on top of the school uniform where he was sure his mother would see it right away. The young man then lifted the frame lying just beneath the letter, it was smudged, a tiny fingerprint still etched over his face — not knowing that almost exactly twenty four hours before, gentle little fingers had traced the outline of his face the same way his were slowly tracing the outline of the girl in the photograph.

"Onii-san."

Naoki turned to see Yuki standing in the doorway, silhouetted by the light, a questioning look on his face.

"She is gone…she and Ojisan left this morning. Didn't you know?"

"You saw them? You knew they were leaving?" Naoki asked his little brother, his voice as calm and steady as always, though the turmoil of emotions swirling within him were quite the opposite.

"Only briefly – but she told me last night, you guys were still out shopping for Oizumi-san's gifts. They left in the morning soon after you left for the Yuino. But I'm sure Okaasan and Otousan knew they were leaving, I overheard Ojisan talking to them last week." Yuki replied, watching his brother closely, wondering how he actually felt.

"What are you doing in here?" He asked curiously, normally Naoki had avoided this room like the plague.

"Ahh nothing. I thought the baka had left the light on again and now..I'm just cleaning out the trash she left behind." Naoki replied, striving for nonchalance, his face impassive though Yuki could see the tension in the hands that gripped the picture frame tightly. "You'll be happy to get your room back, ne?"

Yuki nodded.

He had always idolized his oniichan, in his eyes, his older brother could do no wrong and he strove to emulate him in every possible way he could. Yet, for the first time in his 13 years, Irie Yuki wondered if he still wished to grow up one day to be exactly like his brother.

"It will be awfully quiet around here now that Kotoko is gone…" he said (wondering when it was exactly that he had started thinking of her as "Kotoko" or "Onee-san" instead of "Baka").

"I saw her last night — before she left, she gave me something — I'm sure you don't want it but…anyway, just in case, I am leaving it here ok?" Yuki continued.

The serious eyed boy then placed a small pink envelope on top of the pillow still reposing on what had been Kotoko's bed, next to the bedraggled stuffed bunny she had also left behind.

"Are you really going to marry that girl Oniichan?" Yuki finally asked, almost afraid to hear his brother's response. In so many ways, his admiration of his idolized older brother had always been mixed with envy — but tonight must have been the night for surprises, because for the first time, Yuki did not feel the same.

"Sahoko is good woman Yuki-chan. When you get to know her better, you will understand." Naoki replied, his voice sounding dead and tired and old to the younger boy.

Not trusting himself to speak, though his heart shouted at him to ask why, to understand why Naoki was doing this when he, Irie Yuki knew, had seen with his own eyes, the depth of emotion in his brothers eyes that day in the hospital when he had caught Naoki kissing the sleeping girl.

"But what about…" Yuki started, then closed his mouth.

"What about what?" Naoki asked, turning sharply, his eyes shuttered and his expression forbidding.

"Nothing." Yuki said, turning away in defeat. He knew his brother. And he knew that swaying him from something he had decided to do was pointless. "Oyasumi — I'm going to bed now."

Naoki stood still in the dimly lit room for many minutes after Yuki had left, his eyes shifting back and forth from the photograph in his hands and the letter Yuki had left on the pillow.

Eventually, with feet that felt like they were dipped in lead, Naoki made his way to the bed, and placing the picture frame carefully on one side, picked up the letter. He did not open it yet and instead lay down, the pillow cradling his head and then very carefully, he opened the letter, it felt so fragile in his hands and he was careful not to tear the thin paper. He was expecting it to be full of mistakes, to be messy and splotchy just like her schoolwork — but to his surprise, it was perfectly written in Kotoko's distinctive childish round characters.

_Dear Irie-san,_

_My name is Aihara Kotoko from Class F. You may not know me but I know you. I remember the first time I saw you, it was at your opening speech on the first day of our first year in high school. I have always admired you since then and I know that you will someday achieve many wonderful things. Today is the first day of our last year in high school so I decided that I wanted to confess to you how I felt as we may not see each other again once the school year ends. Although I know you may never return my feelings, I wanted to tell you that I love you and even if you do not feel the same way about me, I hope we can be friends._

_Aihara Kotoko_

He had never read this letter before and Naoki had no idea she had kept it all these years. From the way it looked, it had been kept somewhere safe and special, though the envelope still bore the faint trace of dirt where his shoe had smudged it as it had been blown by the wind from her hands.

Naoki remembered the day well – how he had refused to receive this letter all those years ago. He remembered how earnest and scared she had looked as she came up to him at the school gates. Were he just to close his eyes, an avalanche of memories would overwhelm him he thought — and though he realised that with his extraordinary memory he could catalogue the gamut of each and every look, each and every expression that crossed her face, tonight, the memory that kept re-surfacing was of the last time he had spoken to her.

Finally, he closed his eyes letting his mind replay his last conversation with Kotoko and like a movie reel, he could see it so clearly in his mind, and how he should have realized that that night, she had been saying goodbye for good. He recalled how her eyes seemed so huge in her little face, brilliant with the tears she had forced back, and his mind's eye caressed the lines of the brave smile she had plastered on her face. And when he remembered her words, his heart clenched at the realisation that when she had said goodbye, he had seen the same look of determination and resolve on her face that he had seen all those times when she resolved to do something, pouring every atom of her being in accomplishing the goal - and he felt fear because when she had that look of determination, he knew that she usually succeeded.

He felt cold and alone in the darkened room, but finally Irie Naoki understood why perfection felt so empty.

Setting the letter down on top of the photograph, Naoki turned his head into the pillow, wondering why he could not cry.

And though the pink flowery pillowcase was gone, the pillow still smelled faintly of cherry blossoms.

* * *

Author's Note : Please drop me a review and we'll see if enough interest exists to continue this. Love, Daphne.


	3. Chapter 3 Summer's Dreams

CHAPTER 3

SUMMER'S DREAMS

Aihara Shigeo, true to his word, had rather quickly found a new house for them to move in. And from the Irie's large home, the father and daughter had transferred to a small, modest house within walking distance to the nearest train station and to Fugoyoshi — but in the opposite direction from Tengachaya, the affluent neighbourhood where the Iries lived.

Both were glad that this meant a separation from the Iries — Kotoko because she feared she would not be able to maintain her resolve to forget Irie Naoki if she accidentally saw him or any of his family, and Shigeo because he wanted to spare his little girl the further mortification and pain that he knew would come if she had to watch the Irie-Oizumi courtship continue to unfold. It was close enough for him to still meet up with his friend Shigeki-san occasionally, but far away enough to ensure that there would be no accidental run-ins betwee Kotoko and Irie Naoki, Shigeo had congratulated himself silently.

The night they had moved in to the new house, Kotoko wearily unpacked her clothing in her new room. Looking around at the bare empty space, Kotoko felt both sad and relieved. It was certainly much smaller than her room at the Irie's house — but at the same time. — it was empty, empty of things which would remind her of her former life — to her it was like a blank canvass that Kotoko could paint with the colours of her new life.

Arranging her textbooks on the shelf, she idly thought about quitting university altogether. Kotoko did not know of Naoki's plans post his wedding but she assumed he would at some point return to school to complete his business degree. And she did not want to see him and be reminded every day of her loss. While she had been strong enough to say goodbye, she knew she was afraid that seeing him often would shake her resolve. Anyway, everyone she knew always said she was stupid — what was the point of continuing on? What could a Baka like her hope to gain? Perhaps she would be better off waitressing at her father's restaurant or better yet, finding a job away from Tokyo and all its bad memories.

Kotoko had already decided she would speak to her father that night and gauge his views on the matter when she heard her father come in. Finishing her task of putting away the last few items of clothing, Kotoko decided to speak to him immediately as soon as he settled in, hearing her father bustling about in the the small kitchen. A few minutes later, Kotoko went to look for her father and ask to speak to him about school — but entering the kitchen, she saw him slumped down on the dining table, his head pillowed on his folded arms and lines of fatigue and worry etched on his face and an empty disposable cup of instant ramen in front of him. When had he gotten so old? she wondered — and then she was immediately struck by guilt. She knew that many of the lines on his face were caused by his worries over her. It was ironic really, she thought, that a well-respected chef was reduced to eating instant ramen in his own home. And she felt worse guilt, she knew he worked so hard partly because her school fees were so expensive.

At that moment, Kotoko realized she could not quit school over a broken heart, over a boy who never wanted her or respected her.

All her life, Shigeo had often told her to keep at it, to continue to work hard in school even when she was always in the lowest class, even when she would look at her schoolbooks and only see a mess of indecipherable images and letters — when everyone had told her she was a baka, her father always encouraged her. He had been so proud that he had cried when she was accepted into university because he had never been able to even dream of a college education himself. And his fondest wish was for his only child to finish school, to work not with the sweat of manual labor like he had done all his life, but to get a university degree like he never had, and to ensure a future for her that was not reliant on another person.

She knew he worried about leaving her alone when he passed away — they had no other close relatives — and she knew this was why her father worked so hard at the restaurant and scrimped and saved on his own needs just to be able to afford a university education for her.

She could not kill his dream just because her own had died.

With a resigned sigh, Kotoko shook her father awake and said goodnight as he shuffled off to his bedroom after a long day on his feet at the restaurant.

So the next day, Aihara Kotoko put away her sadness and put on an impassive face, a look of fierce determination as if going off to battle. She would NOT quit. She would do better and make her father proud. She would show every single person who had called her stupid and worthless that they were wrong.

It was this way that the young woman walked resolutely through the gates of Tonan University, her bag clutched protectively against her as if it were armor that would protect her from the stares and whispers that she could feel stinging like nettles on her skin as soon as she reached the vicinity of the university.

It was the week after the Oizumi-Irie engagement had been announced in the society pages and plastered all over the websites of several popular newspapers. Many of the people in Tonan had been witnesses to Kotoko's turbulent (and to them vastly entertaining) and singleminded pursuit of Irie Naoki, resident genius. In actuality, many of them felt empathy for the young woman — Kotoko was loud and clumsy and had the tact of a rampaging rhinoceros in her efforts to win Naoki but there was something so earnest and sincere about her that had won her silent support.

Nonetheless, in her current state of mind, the young woman couldn't differentiate the looks of sympathy from the looks of derision. To her mind, everyone was laughing at her and all the whispers were commentaries on just how publicly and humiliatingly she had been rejected. It was worse than high school. For one, she could not chalk up her feelings as teenage infatuation and dismiss it with a laugh, and for another, in Tonan High she had had the support of her section F classmates whereas at the university, there were so many more people and so few of her friends.

Jinko and Satomi had been waiting for their friend just past the gates, they had known of the Yuino, had read the news features with a horrified fascination and were worried about their friend who had been avoiding them — avoiding everyone really – since Irie Naoki's engagement had been announced. But Jinko knew that Kotoko had an exam which she could not miss this day and so she and Satomi had decided to stake out the gates and ambush Kotoko — whether she wanted to be comforted or not.

"Kotoko!" Satomi called out, the two friends rushing towards the young woman.

"Youuu poooooor thing…" Satomi called out (rather dramatically) and quickly engulfing Kotoko in an expansive embrace. "Come here…."

Ushering Kotoko away quickly from curious passers by, neither Jinko nor Satomi noticed that Kotoko was actually calm and composed — certainly not the blubbering mess or unresponsive zombie that she had alternated between in previous instances when drama with Irie Naoki related drama had stricken her.

Finding an unoccupied bench behind some trees in the quad, the three girls sat. Jinko and Satomi exchanged glances, this had seemed like a brilliant idea at the time — confronting Kotoko and asking for details — but now that they were actually here, and Kotoko seemed, for lack of a better word — normal, the two friends were unsure how to start. In the end, it was Kotoko who made the move for them.

"I'm sorry I've been out of touch…" she began calmly, though her hands twisted and re-twisted the straps of the bag on her lap. "It has just been hectic moving the new house…and I have been working at my Outosan's restaurant as well. But the spring break is over so I'll be seeing you more often."

"Kotoko…are you…ok?" Jinko asked timidly, treading carefully, afraid to set-off Kotoko's well known tendency toward histrionics. To her shock, Kotoko merely smiled a sad little smile, but without a trace of the hysteria that she had been expecting, merely patted her friend's hand.

It was strange – she had been expecting to comfort Kotoko — not the other way around.

"Don't worry about me, I'm really ok." Kotoko assured her friends, even mustering a small smile.

"But what about….what are you going to do about…" Satomi stuttered unable to say the dreaded words.

"Irie-kun's wedding?" Kotoko finished for her, (inwardly congratulating herself for her calm steady response) "Nothing. It's not my business to interfere Satomi. Irie-kun has made his choice and I realized that I have made mine too —- he chose Oizumi-san and I…I chose myself."

"Huh?" Jinko and Satomi almost comically chorused, confused and very taken aback at how calmly Kotoko seemed to be taking the whole thing.

"I chose myself." Kotoko explained, trying to express to her friends why she felt like she had grown up overnight.

"I realized that you can't force love…I can't keep pushing my love on Irie-kun when he never wanted any part of it. And even if we had gotten together, would I have really been happy for long with someone who not only did not love me, but was just tolerating me? Maybe in the beginning, when it would have all been new and exciting…but love, to survive has to be reciprocated don't you think? And while I love..loved him very much, I don't think even I have enough love to sustain us both." Kotoko paused, and was silent fo a moment, seemingly lost in thought.

"I need to stop — I need to listen to my head more than my heart and I can't listen to false encouragement that he will eventually love me too. I guess.. that was my problem, I only chose to see and hear what I wanted to see and hear — even when Irie-kun himself was directly telling me he had no feelings for me."

At that point, it finally sank into her friends minds that Kotoko was different this time — this wasn't going to be one of her usual declarations of getting over Irie Naoki, only to backslide into adoration at the merest sign of attention from the cold hearted young man. Or indulge in a fit of dramatic despair to evoke his pity and attention.

"I guess I've finally accepted that that he can't love me — how could he? When I don't even love myself? And so, I chose myself — I've wasted four years of my life chasing after the wrong dream."

Tears were slowly making their way down Kotoko's cheeks despite her brave smile and her two friends found themselves crying too.

Jinko and Satomi realized guiltily that they themselves, were willing accomplices to Kotoko's obsession. Although there were times that they had tried to discourage Kotoko, there were equally as many times that they would accompany her to stalk him, and encourage her to fight for his love. On the times Kotoko had voiced her intention to give up on Irie, she guiltily remembered never having believed her friend, and instead teased her or even dissuaded her. Giving her false hope because she had bought into the whole shoujo -manga-fairytale of the stoic hero who was actually just hiding his love for the stalwart but determined heroine.

Reaching for Kotoko's hand, Satomi made a silent vow to herself that she would help Kotoko however she could.

"What are you going to do?" Satomi asked.

"I'm going to figure out what to do with my life — I think…I KNOW there is a better dream out there for me. Anyway, I'm one of the very few people in our year who still hasn't declared a major. I always figured I wouldn't really need a job — I always dreamed only of being his housewife right? And so..I never really thought about what I wanted to do." Kotoko replied. "But I'm going to figure it out and I'm going to work my hardest to get it."

Satomi hugged her friend. This strange new creature with Kotoko's face and voice — but who was not the Kotoko they had known or were expecting — it was someone she wanted to get to know all over again. Someone that she realized she admired. Someone that she wanted to help in whatever she could – and she knew Jinko felt the same way. She would stop being an enabler — the wrong kind of enabler. And if Kotoko was determined for forget Irie Naoki and move on with her life, she would be there — the same way she had been since they first became friends in the first grade playground so many years ago.

"Is there anything we can do?" She asked.

"Well….there is one thing…" Kotoko said, finally smiling for the first time. "I want to change…do you think you could help me?"

"A make over?" The fashionable Satomi smiled naughtily.

And in a moment of levity, the three friends laughed and embraced.

"Gambatte Kotoko-San!" Jinko said, and with a promise to meet on the weekend, the three parted.

After excusing herself from her friends, Kotoko went to her building to take her scheduled exam. She had studied very hard for the test but as usual, it was difficult. It was not that she didn't know the answers — she always had difficulty when she had to transfer the information in her head to the test paper in front of her. Over the years, she had learned that she learned better when she was listening to someone explaining or diagramming the information, when she could see in outlines or illustrations how the information related to each other — rather than trying to learn it by herself from a book.

Perhaps that was why she was able to reach the top 100 that one time because HE had, despite his annoyance, persistently repeated, drew and diagrammed the material for her. Despite how it had turned out, Kotoko thought that those were some of her fondest memories with….Kotoko shook her head and concentrated on finishing the paper in front of her.

She had made an appointment to the see the guidance counsellor after the test to ask for help in determining her major — she couldn't be late, it wasn't the time to indulge in reminisces and certainly, she had already decided that she would stop reminiscing about Irie Naoki. She realized she would never get over him unless she ruthlessly stopped thinking about him — and Aihara Kotoko, for all her faults, when she decided to do something, would accomplish what she set out to do.

Finally the bell rang and the professor collected the papers and Kotoko set off for the guidance office in the Psychology Building.

Kotoko arrived at the guidance office with several minutes to spare — Mrs. Suzuki, the guidance counsellor was still with the previous appointment, so Kotoko sat in the waiting room where she was told to wait. Too anxious to sit still, Kotoko decided to walk around the room, idly reading the announcements posted on the notice board when her eyes were drawn to a specific poster.

"Do you have difficulty expressing yourself even if you know the answer? Are you uncomfortable with reading aloud or speaking in public? Have you always struggled in school? Do you have problems recalling written directions or sequences of events? If you have had any of these experiences, you may be a candidate for the Davis Special Education Program. Talk to us now!"

Reading the poster, Kotoko felt as if it were written for her specifically — and noticed that the contact person was none other than Suzuki-sensei who she was scheduled to meet.

Just then, Dr. Suzuki's assistant came into to the room to tell Kotoko it was her turn — and quickly grabbing a handout from the pile beneath the poster, deciding then and there that she would speak to Suzuki-sensei and find out about this Davis Program.

Her heart pounding with what she didn't realise then – was hope, Kotoko quickly followed the assistant to Dr. Suzuki's office.

Little did the young woman know that that quick decision, that lucky accident of fate of her reading the poster, of coming a bit early to her appointment — would change her life forever.

AUTHOR'S NOTE : I have decided to see where this story would take me – the reviews from the 2nd chapter were an immense boost and highly encouraging. So please stay with me (and Kotoko) on this journey of self-discovery and growth. I would appreciate your reviews as always. Love, Daphne


	4. Chapter 4 Leaves Turning

Chapter 4

Leaves Turning

The trees were ablaze all over Tokyo, and when a wind blew, if felt like the sky was crying tears of red, gold and orange. Autumn in Japan was one of the most beautiful seasons and his favorite one. Looking out the large plate glass window fronting his desk, Irie Naoki ran both hands through his hair – as if that would soothe the throbbing headache that had been plaguing him all day. The headache never seemed to leave him these days he realized, and with a grimace, an unbidden memory came to mind bringing a bitter smile to his face— whatever happened to that horrid head massager that she…that that girl had once given him for Christmas? Naoki typically nipped reminisces like those in the bud — they were of no use to him for he had chosen his path. His mouth twisted, and he mentally laughed at himself. When had it gotten so hard to even think of her name?

With the announcement of the Oizumi-Irie engagement, even without the actual infusion of the Oizumi cash into the business, Pandai's business had steadily improved. The businessmen who had been wary of investing in a company made shaky by news of Irie Shigeki's health issues, the young and untested new CEO and the decline in business due to Pandai's failure to produce a hit product in the last two years had begun to come around again. The Oizumi name carried a lot of weight in the business community and if Oizumi zaibatsu was willing to invest in Pandai, other investors were willing to follow suit.

Of course there were many cynical remarks that Oizumi had not so much as bought shares in Pandai, but rather had bought a groom for his granddaughter. But still, arranged marriages for business alliances were not uncommon even in these modern times and most people agreed that Irie Naoki and Oizumi Sahoko were, at least physically and from all outward appearances, well matched.

Tonan University was abuzz with the news for a time – with a small but vocal minority which expressed outrage for Aihara Kotoko. The rest were merely entertained – at least until the society pages stopped reporting on Irie Naoki and Oizumi Sahako - the editor complaining that there was really nothing to report as neither put a foot wrong, never did anything interesting and behaved always as they were expected to.

And like all things, as the days passed, the tragic comedy that had been the Aihara-Irie non-romance had been forgotten by most.

Ironically, the Iries had not actually touched any of the money offered by Chairman Oizumi — it remained in escrow in the Pandai account because for the moment, the inflow of cash from the new investors had been sufficient to start the process of turning the business around. But despite the improvement in the business, it was hard going and to spare his father the stress despite Shigeo's recovery, Irie Naoki had taken on more and more of his duties — first out of necessity, and then eventually because he realized that if he worked hard enough and long enough, he would fall in bed into a deep, dreamless sleep with no time for sadness or self doubt or regret — nor would he have to put up with his mother's chastisement, his father's skeptical looks and Yuki's silent but troubling questioning expression.

Irie Noriko had started off in tears and hysterics and dramatic outbursts after the Aiharas had left their home, alternating between begging Naoki not to go through with the wedding and demanding that he bring Kotoko back. After Naoki's father had intervened, she had stopped berating Naoki and had subsided into a combination of resignation and silent reproach.

Although Naoki knew she corresponded with Kotoko, he was too proud to ask for information - and on the rare occasions that Noriko received a letter from the girl, she would take seemingly malicious pleasure in dropping tantalizing bits of information within Naoki's hearing. To these he presented the same stoic face of indifference as if he didn't care - and yet he would store each word as if they were nuggets of gold and he, a miser saving each bit that he could to be pondered over and examined in detail in the darkness of what had been her old room.

After Kotoko had moved out, he had told his mother that he was taking over what had been Yuki's old room, on the pretext that it would be less disruptive for Yuki to change rooms once again.

He did not know why he had done that , only that it seemed to be the only place in his world where he could get a good night's sleep.

At times when Noriko's hurtful words became too much even for him, Naoki wished he could snap at her – to tell her of that day when like a fool he had chased after Aihara Kotoko and how he had, for the first time in his life, failed at something. But even as he had left Fugoyoshi that day with Kinnosuke's bitter, derisive laughter still ringing in his ears as he had been told that she was gone and didn't wish to be found, and especially not by him.

And how he had realized that even if he had found her, he was unsure why he was looking for her or what he would offer her — Pandai would still be in trouble, he would still need to marry Oizumi Sahoko and his life was still set in front of him like a long, straight unwavering road - a long, straight, unwavering and EMPTY road that stretched endlessly before him. At times he wished to shout at his mother – telling her that she had no words, no names that could be worse than those he had already called himself.

That she could not hurt him with her reproaches because he was empty.

Irie Naoki was ever the pragmatist — and as such, he consoled himself that emptiness was better than pain. And being the rational man that he was, Naoki had almost convinced himself that the emptiness could be filled by work, until one day, if he worked hard enough for it, the emptiness could be filled by Oizumi Sahoko, if he only tried hard enough to learn how to love her.

_(It was only occasionally in the past year when maybe out of the corner of his eye, his gaze would inadvertently be caught by a flash of pink, or when he heard a tinkling laugh, or when he thought he had caught a glimpse of a familiar face — that the emptiness would rear it's head and Irie Naoki would stop and remind himself that he alone was responsible, that he himself had chosen the empty nothingness that was the life he had now. Once he had turned swiftly around with a smile, when he felt a small had clasp his sleeve, only to be disappointed that it was a girl who had accidentally held on to him as the train swerved. Or once when thought he heard someone trip on the stairs - rushing out of her, now his, room half asleep - until he realized that she was gone.)_

For the last year since his Yuino, Naoki had practically been living at the office, returning home only very late every night to shower and sleep and then leaving very early the next morning before anyone was awake. His life revolved only around work and the routine broken only when he was gently reminded to make an appearance at one or other cocktail party, art exhibit or concert that Sahoko wished to attend.

Sahoko of course, as expected of the perfect fiancée, never said a word of complaint, although her feelings were made very clear through her grandfather who would regularly remind Naoki that he should be taking more active interest in planning the wedding, that he needed to spend time with his intended, and that he needed to escort Sahoko to various society functions. And of course, despite his work schedule or even the fact that these events never held any particular interest to Naoki, it was very clear that he was being told, not being asked.

No one knew that the piper had to be paid somehow more than Irie Naoki himself.

His office overlooked a large park — the Hamarikyu gardens — one of those oases of green that were like hidden gems in the concrete megalith that was Tokyo. And from his office he could see the golds and scarlets of the trees, and the silver ribbon that was the Sumida river beyond. For a few minutes, Naoki just sat quietly enjoying the view until a discreet knock disturbed his peace and his secretary entered.

"Irie-San?"

"Yes Mamiya-San?" He asked the kindly elder lady – she was actually his father's secretary and had known him since he was a little boy.

"It's 6 pm. Chairman Oizumi's secretary called to have me remind you that you are escorting Miss Sahoko at the Four Seasons for the benefit gala tonight. They have delivered clothes for you change into — shall I bring it in?"

"Why do I need to change? I still need to finish going through these reports…" Naoki asked, looking at the pile of unread documents on his desk. To be honest, he had completely forgotten about the gala as Sahoko seemed to always have one or another scheduled. He hated these events, feeling like a show pony being paraded around to the Oizumi's many wealthy society friends, he hated the monotonous stream of polite conversation he had to make and the amount of time he had to spend with people he cared little for when he would much rather have been at home trying to catch up on the precious commodity that was sleep nowadays.

"I'm sorry Irie-San, the secretary made sure to inform me that you have to wear this — I believe the colours will match Miss Sahoko's kimono and her mother was most explicit in her instructions." Mrs. Mamiya said, almost apologetically. While she had known Naoki since he was a child and knew that he had always been quiet and serious, it seemed as if in the last months he had grown even more so — and although he was always polite and courteous, she couldn't remember the last time she had seen him smile or speak of anything other than business.

Naoki nodded resignedly and got up, wearily walking toward the bathroom which was en suite to his office – he had 30 minutes to dress and another 30 minutes to pick up Sahako and drive to the hotel. She was always very punctual and though she said nothing on the rare occasions that he was late, he knew she was displeased. And certainly, he would always hear about it the next morning from her Grandfather or her mother would call on some polite pretext or another.

"Arigato Mamiya-san, I'll take a quick shower and change. Please bring the clothing in and leave them near the bathroom. You may go home for the evening."

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Naoki arrived at the Oizumi mansion just in time, parking the car int eh expansive driveway, he rung the bell and a uniformed servant opened the door.

"Miss Sahoko is waiting for you Irie-san would you like to come in?"

"No thank you, I believe we are expected at the benefit at 7, can you kindly let Sahoko-San know that I am here?" Naoki replied, he just wanted to leave as soon as possible and didn't relish even the requisite 15 minutes of stilted conversation he would have to bear with Sahoko's parents and grandfather should he make the strategic error of coming in.

A few minutes later, Sahoko emerged from the house and politely greeting Naoki allowed herself to assisted into his car. As expected, she was impeccably dressed and as Mamiya-San had advised him, the muted colours of his kimono matched the tie and cummerbund that she had sent to his office.

"You look very nice Sahoko-San." Naoki said, not noticing that her smile had become a bit stiff.

"Nice?"

"You always look very nice." He said, glancing at her. "Is that a new kimono?"

"I wore it last to our Yuino, don't you remember Naoki-san?" She responded, keeping her gaze fixed upon the road ahead.

"My apologies." Naoki said politely _(though if his life depended on it, he could not have described this or any of her dozens of other outfits)._ "It has been a stressful week."

"Tomorrow night we have another dinner to attend. Shall I expect you at the same time or should I make arrangements to have the driver drop me off?" Sahoko asked. If she had not reminded him personally, she was worried Naoki would "forget" — although with an eidetic memory, she wondered how this could be possible.

"Is it really necessary for me to be there?" Naoki asked, though his voice was even, the truth was that he was bit annoyed — he had never been a social butterfly and all of Sahoko's engagements were not only wearing on him but also boring him to death.

"The dinner is with the wedding planner." Sahoko said, casting a sidelong glance at Naoki – but if she had been hoping for some reaction, a flicker of interest if not excitement, she was disappointed for his face was set in its usual impassive expression. "My family expects you to be there."

"I see." Was his only response.

"My parents would like for us to have a spring wedding. Sometime in March of next year — they said it would give us enough time to prepare. And Mother thinks the cherry blossoms will be in season." Sahoko added. "My mother has booked the Four Seasons for the reception – the same ballroom we are going to tonight."

"That's nice Sahoko." Naoki responded, casting a polite sideways smile at her.

"And Grandfather has said we should spare no expense – so Mother has already ordered my kimono for me — or would you like me to wear a western style wedding dress instead? She said the kimono would be better and a traditional cere…." Sahako narrated, only to be interrupted by Naoki.

"And how about you Sahoko-san, what would you prefer?" Naoki asked.

"Ah well — my mother is acknowledged for her brilliant parties and her impeccable taste, I am happy to follow her advice. But if you have a preference on what you would like me to wear, I could also adjust to that." She replied, a bit taken aback by his question.

"I see." Naoki replied – wondering why suddenly he felt the perverse desire to question all the choices. It sounded like the perfect society wedding. Why did he have such a heavy feeling? Perhaps it was just the stress of work piling up. He should feel...no, he was….he was relieved…happy…that he did not need to deal with these details.

"The wedding planner has already presented a project plan for a traditional ceremony — we will have the ceremony at The Meiji shrine and the reception at the Four Seasons."

"That sounds…nice." Naoki.

"And you Naoki-san, do you have any preference?" Sahoko asked, wishing that her fiancée would show a bit more interest.

"No. I leave it up to you and your mother Sahoko-San, I am sure whatever you decide will be quite suitable."

Sahoko nodded graciously and remained silent for the rest of the trip — while Naoki blessed the silence and wished his headache would go away.

And though he wished with his whole heart that he could be muster up some enthusiasm for the wedding, the only thing that remained with him was the mention of sakura and spring — and he recalled a small girl, twirling around in a small nondescript park near his home, supremely delighted by the cheap thrill of a shower of sakura petals that were falling in the afternoon breeze.

* * *

The couple arrived at the Four Seasons and quickly made their way into the party. Allowing himself to be led around and introduced by Sahoko like the trophy that he was, Irie Naoki made polite, inane conversation wishing he were anywhere but here in this overly heated room, heavy with the clashing of too many different expensive perfumes, the patter of pointless conversation ebbing and flowing around him until he felt like he was drowning. To be fair, he thought, he also paraded Sahoko around like a trophy during the business functions he had to attend, so turnabout was fair play. She was certainly decorative, and the presence of the Oizumi heiress by his side impressed business associates and rivals alike.

_(It was not a marriage of convenience for nothing.)_

Excusing himself from Sahoko and her current conversation partner, yet another perfectly dressed and coiffed hothouse beauty with the same rarified background as her, Naoki left in search of a drink. He was about to reach for the last flute of champagne when a slender hand reached for it at the same time.

"Gomen, go ahead and take it please." He said politely, not really looking.

"Irie Naoki?" A somewhat familiar voice asked in surprised tones.

Properly taking a look at the young woman before him, Naoki realized it was Kotoko's friend Satomi.

"Good evening Ishikawa-san." Naoki greeted her politely, "How are you?"

"I am well thank you. And it is Takamiya now — Ryo-san and I got married. " she said looking over with a fond smile at someone in the distance.

"Omedeto." Naoki said, quite at a loss for words. "Are you still at Tonan?"

"Yes, I will start my last year in the spring actually."

"And your friends?" Naoki ask, wishing he could just be direct. "They are well too?"

"They are well too." Satomi replied.

_She wondered if he was trying to get news of Kotoko and her heart hardened._

Satomi had been shocked when she had first seen Irie initially – he was still handsome of course, but his face was drawn and he seemed to have lost a lot of weight - but what had changed so dramatically were his eyes. Though he always had am impassive face, Irie Naoki used to have the most expressive eyes – they used to flicker and dance when he was secretly laughing at you, burn cold looking at you with disdain or blazing with annoyance when you angered him - she remembered more than one time having been on the receiving end of one of his impassioned glares and how it had intimidated her.

But now, the girl noticed, the only way she could describe them was…that they were dead. Empty and dead.

"Jinko is graduating in a year and she's applying to work in the music industry, Kin-chan is of course apprenticed to Aihara-san. But it's not really us you're interested in is it?" She said, somewhat waspishly.

Naoki was silent, though for a moment, a brief flash of his old self appeared in his eyes.

"Kotoko is fine, if you are interested. She just left Tokyo, probably for good — and I suppose we should actually thank you — if you hadn't sold yourself to that woman, Kotoko would still be here pining her life away for nothing. But she's changed so much in the past year and is happy now, REALLY happy for the first time since she met you and you messed up her life. So arigato gozaimas I suppose." Satomi continued with a sardonic smile and bow — part of her revelling in this rare, unexpected opportunity to finally speak her mind to Irie Naoki.

Finally running out of steam, Satomi could not however resist one last dig before turning away.

"Your fiancée appears to be looking for you — I think it's time for you to start earning your pay again."

Then she walked away without a background glance.

Naoki didn't respond — logically, he thought, he should be angry. But then again, how could he be when she was right?

And with a sigh, he too turned and made his way to Sahoko, wondering how soon they could politely leave and promising himself he would make more of an effort to get to know his fiancee and spend time with her.

* * *

Much later in the car, Naoki decided he would keep his promise.

"I just realized I have some free time on Tuesday, would you like to spend the afternoon with me?" He asked Sahako.

"That would be lovely Naoki-San!" She said animatedly, then her face fell. "Oh..but I have an ikebana class with my mother that afternoon…"

"Ah, I see. Could you not cancel it?" he asked

_(Part of him remembering a girl who would have cancelled anything and everything just to spend time with him no matter how inane or simple the activity, a girl who would have been happy just to walk to the kombini with him to buy cheap canned coffee)._

"Mother…would be upset…and it is with Mitzusaka-sensei — she is very famous and only rarely gives these classes…" Sahoko explained, weighing her choices. "Perhaps I could meet you after the class? Was there somewhere in particular you would like to go?"

In truth, he had nothing planned — it would have been nice to go somewhere casual for it seemed like everywhere he and Sahoko went had to be some sort of "event", full of the same faces, talking about the same things.

"Well there is an autumn festival in Ueno Park — perhaps we can go to the zoo, then go around the festival in the Park and stay for the fireworks?" He suggested.

"Really Naoki-san? This isn't like you at all…I didn't realize you enjoyed such..common things? Wouldn't it be hot and crowded and full of people? I don't really like crowds…but if you wish to go, I will go." Sahoko replied.

"It's fun occasionally…what gave you the idea that I didn't?" He asked curiously.

_(Although now that he thought about it, perhaps it had been an ill-advised idea – trying to imagine Sahoko eating food from the stalls or catching goldfish with a net. And failing.)_

"I don't know. Grandfather said that you would like symphonies and the opera and the theatre I suppose…And mother always made the reservations for us..I thought you liked the restaurants we went to and the art exhibits…" Sahoko explained.

"Do you WANT to go?" He asked her.

_(And uninvited, a small face with doe eyes sparkling in delight fought its way into his mind's eye. SHE would not have hesitated and he almost laughed aloud, thinking that if it had been HER, the most likely scenario would have been that SHE would have found out about the festival and dragged him to attend.)_

"Ah…whatever would make Naoki-San happy of course." Sahoko replied, giving him a small smile. "I would just need to speak with Mother about missing the class… we enrolled for this months ago so I am afraid she will be disappointed."

"Never mind Sahoko-San" Naoki said with a sigh, "I am sure you will enjoy the ikebana class more."

"Arigato Naoki-San…it's just that I don't want to disappoint mother…"

"It's fine." He said, assuring her (although wondering if when he married her, he would be marrying her mother as well?).

"I'm sure it will be nice." He added, trying to reassure her.

Nice.

That was what the rest of his life would be like.

Nice.

It was with relief that they soon reached the Oizumi mansion and Naoki got out to escort Sahoko to the door. She turned her face up to him — and she was lovely to look at, like a perfect porcelain doll — and he knew that she was waiting for him to kiss her.

It had been a year since they were formally engaged – and while it would have not surprised anyone in this day and age that a engaged couple would have been a bit more physical, the truth was that Naoki and Sahoko had not. There were the occasional kisses on the cheek — and occasionally they would hold hands — but that was the extent of it.

He supposed it would have been nice, but he did not know why he didn't kiss her. Instead, he wished her good night and left for home, his head still pounding from the headache that never seemed to go away anymore.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Thank you for the reviews! I am glad you are still here reading this story. This chapter was a bit heavy to write - but I always wondered how Naoki felt. This part is set 1 year after Kotoko left the Irie home and just after she leaves for Kyoto.

So - more of Kotoko next chapter. Please review - I would love to hear what you think of this version of Naoki.

DISCLAIMER: I own this plot and this story - no infringement of Itazura Na Kiss is intended.


	5. Chapter 5 The Passing Seasons

Chapter 5

The Passing Seasons

Aihara Kotoko hummed happily to herself as she walked towards the Special Education Building of Kyoto University. A wide smile on her face, the young woman literally hugged herself in glee as she looked back on the last few days — she had finally received her bachelor's degree in Special Education and remembering the tears of joy running down her father's face, the wide smiles of Jinko, Satomi and Kinnosuke who had all taken the shinkansen from Tokyo to attend her graduation ceremony, Kotoko felt the warm glow of happiness deep in her heart. After graduation, Aihara Shigeo had treated Kotoko and her longtime friends to a nice dinner before all four of them returned to Tokyo the following day.

The still fashionable Satomi was now a married woman, with baby Yuuki keeping her busy — she had married her long time boyfriend Ryo during their last year of college and while her in-laws had been less than pleased that the baby came only a few months after the rushed wedding, Satomi was happy with her life choices. Jinko for her part had begun working her dream job right out of college at an independent music label. She didn't make a lot of money but was blissful in the pursuit of her career. Kinnosuke, once he had finally given up his dream of winning Kotoko, had finally settled down, showing great promise as Shigeo's chef-successor.

Her faculty adviser had invited her to a meeting regarding a possible job placement and the young woman was excited to see what was in store for her.

The years had been more than kind to Kotoko who had blossomed from the awkward girl she was to the young woman she was now - and more than one set of male eyes followed her lithe form with appreciation as she crossed the campus to her destination. The long wavy hair was still there — but now it was tidy in a low bun at the base of her neck, her graceful neck rising swanlike from the collar of her dress. Gone were the pink bows that looked as if butterflies had perched on her ear tresses and the fussy hairstyles that had looked childish even then. Her clothing was more muted as well, although she loved the colour pink, Kotoko more often than not now wore the neutral greys, whites and blacks Satomi had advised her all those years ago when she had asked for a makeover. Occasionally, a touch of pink of would appear in a flower, a small brooch or a scarf — as if Kotoko's lively personality had to burst out somewhere amidst the muted tones of her clothing — but the frills and furbelows were gone. She was still a tiny girl, but she wore her new confidence like a mantle and it showed in the bounce of her step, the determined set of her shoulders and the confident tilt of her head.

While the outward package had changed, the biggest change was in the way the young woman carried herself. Kotoko still being Kotoko, she still was occasionally clumsy, sometimes loud, always enthusiastic and she still had the huge heart that went out to meet anyone halfway, thinking more about others than herself. But gone was the self-conscious shuffle, the hunched shoulders and eyes cast to the ground.

At 24, Aihara Kotoko had achieved what she had set out to do — she finally learned to love herself.

And it showed in her calmer demeanour and more confident bearing. The bright eyes and big smile were still there however, and it was these that caught the eye of several lovelorn young men in her college. To their disappointment however, Kotoko never dated anyone seriously in Kyoto University. She would sometimes agree to go out on dates but she would always insist that it be in a group and it was very rare that she went out with a man more than twice, usually gently explaining to them at the end of the second date that she would be happy to be friends but that that was all she could offer. Rumour had it that she was still in love with a former sweetheart back in Tokyo — but she never confirmed the rumours, usually dismissing such talk with a charming smile, a quick flush of colour and a quick denial. But the faraway look in her eyes, and her gentle yet firm rejection of several confessions had made it very clear that she was not looking for a romantic relationship.

It was spring once again and the campus was somewhat empty after the graduation, and because the underclassmen were on spring break. Kotoko noticed that the cherry blossoms were beginning to bud although were not yet in full bloom. She smiled, looking up somewhat lost in reverie as she tripped. For a long time, spring had made her sad but then she had become so engrossed in her studies, then she had moved to Kyoto and made new friends and a new life —- and she had found that the sight of sakura could make her smile once again.

Admiring the flowers, in typical Kotoko fashion, she missed the step down from the sidewalk and fell to the pavement, hitting a passerby on her way down, her bag and coat flying in opposite directions.

"Are you ok?" A deep voice accompanied the hand that helped her up. Kotoko looked up to meet the sparkling eyes of her rescuer, a young man about her age or perhaps a bit younger, who smiled at her obvious embarrassment.

"Oops sorry." Kotoko apologized, "Gomen for troubling you, did I hurt you?"

"Don't worry about it — I was actually worried I caused you to fall – you're quite the tiny little thing aren't you?" The young man said, though his appreciative smile indicated that her diminutive size was something he actually appreciated as he helped her retrieve her fallen things.

"Ah yes…sorry about that. My Outosan always joked that I'm pocket-sized for convenience." Kotoko said half jokingly, and then flushed, not quite sure why this young man made her feel so self-conscious. She hurriedly dusted off her knees and flashed him a shy smile.

"Shall we try it then?" The young man asked in a flirtatious tone. "See if you fit in my pocket?"

"Ha ha.. well, anyway thank you for coming to my rescue — Do I uhh…look presentable?" She asked a bit embarrassedly and then blushed, wondering what she was doing talking so familiarly with this complete stranger.

The young man looked her up and down appraisingly, a smile on his face and an admiring look in his eyes. "You look perfect."

"Gomen…sorry for such a strange question. I have a meeting with my faculty adviser and wanted to make a good impression." Kotoko said gratefully "It would have been a lot worse if you hadn't broken my fall."

"Your adviser? Are you a student there?" He asked nodding his head toward the Faculty of Special Education Building to their left where she seemed to have been headed before her little accident.

"Ah…well, actually I just graduated but I am meeting Dr. Kamogari who was my adviser, about a job, I hope. And you?" Kotoko said.

"No, I was just visiting someone. But well in that case, I won't keep you — but feel free to fall into my pocket anytime." The young man said and with a jaunty salute started to walk off on his way.

"…because I have a good feeling I'll see YOU again Aihara Kotoko." He said to himself with a small smile as he gave her a small bow and then turned and walked off to catch a train back to Tokyo.

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Kotoko stood still for a minute, waiting for her heart to stop pounding. Truly, she was confused by her reaction to the stranger — it was not like she had not met any attractive young men while she had been in Kyo-dai, she had even gone out on a few dates with some of them. But she had not been flustered this way — certainly not since Nao…

After a minute, she shook herself mentally, deciding she was just shaken from her near accident and as had been a habit she had painstakingly cultivated over the recent years, she nipped any thoughts of Irie Naoki in the bud. Straightening her clothing (and checking her knees for any damage, relieved to find none), she proceeded to the Faculty building to her meeting.

"Konnichiwa Kamogari-sensei!" Kotoko smiled and bowed politely as she entered her faculty adviser's office.

"Konnichiwa Kotoko-san, why don't you take a seat?" Dr. Kamogari said, smiling at the young woman who had become one of her favorite students over the years.

Kotoko was a bit older than Dr. Kamogari's other students, she had come as a transfer from Tonan University in Tokyo and had had to repeat her 2nd year in college to qualify for the special education teaching program. In fact, Dr. Kamogari as the dean of the Special Education program had accepted Kotoko's application despite her mediocre academic history only because the girl had come with the very high recommendation of Dr. Kamogari's good friend and colleague Suzuki-san who had been Kotoko's guidance counsellor in Tonan University.

When she had met Kotoko for the first time and heard her story, the older woman had been impressed by the young woman's determination, what she had accomplished after only a year of working with Suzuki-san and her passion and determination to help children who were suffering what she had, having only been properly assessed to be dyslexic as an adult.

Given that Kotoko had never had the benefit of a special education designed for dyslexic children and being in an environment that was ruthlessly standardised, designed for the typically-abled students, Dr. Kamogari was in fact greatly amazed and impressed that the girl had not only managed to graduate high school but to also survive Tonan University despite her learning disability.

During her interview, it had been Dr. Kamogari who had revealed to Kotoko how high she had scored on the IQ assessment, albeit it was a special one designed for persons with Kotoko's learning challenges – and the young woman had broken down in tears.

For herself, Kotoko had not even wanted to apply to a university as prestigious as Kyo-dai because she had always been told that she was stupid and slow. It had been with the encouragement, counselling and help of Dr. Suzuki in Tokyo that Kotoko realized that all these years, she had NOT been the baka that everyone ridiculed her to be — it was simply that she learned and processed information differently than most people. Once she had learned the tools and mechanisms that she could use to process information the way that she needed to, Kotoko quickly levelled up and excelled. While she was never going to be a genius, it was clear that Kotoko was above average – and this, coupled with her determination allowed her to quickly make up the work she had been so behind on.

And suddenly it became crystal clear to Kotoko what she wanted to do with her life — she would study, and study hard to learn to be a teacher to help other children who had been like her. And for the first time that night, she slept without crying bitter tears for Irie Naoki.

When Suzuki-sempai had encouraged her to apply to Kyoto University, telling her that it had one of the best special education programs in the country, Kotoko had expressed her self doubt and extreme hesitation. The program was not only expensive, there was also her fear that she was not smart enough for such a prestigious institution as Kyoto University. Also, Kotoko was afraid to move to Kyoto away from her father and to live alone for the first time in her 20 years. But a discussion with Aihara Shigeo had convinced Kotoko that such a move would be beneficial to her — she would be this close to achieving her dream and perhaps, he thought, it would help her move on more quickly if she left Tokyo behind for a while.

"So Kotoko, have you thought about what you're going to do now that you've graduated? Will you be staying in the Kansai area or will you be moving back to Tokyo?" Dr. Kamogari asked, smiling approvingly at her protégée, bringing Kotoko back from her foray into her memories. She would miss this girl and her cheerful smile.

"I have not really decided Kamogari-san. I suppose it would depend on where I can find a position. I haven't given up my apartment here in Kyoto yet but my lease is up at the end of the month so I need to decide soon. I have made plans to visit my father in Tokyo next week but beyond that, I'm afraid it is still a bit up in the air." Kotoko responded. "You mentioned over the telephone that you had found a possible placement for me?"

"As it happens, Dr. Suzuki called me last night, Tonan is piloting a special education program for their grade school department and she wanted me to ask you if you would be interested."

"To…Tonan?" Kotoko asked, a bit overwhelmed, swallowing a lump in her throat that had appeared out of nowhere.

"You would be working directly with Dr. Suzuki and the University Hospital. The Pyschology department and the pediatric department of the hospital would be identifying potential candidates for the program from their patients and Dr. Suzuki will be running the educational end of things. Are you interested? It wouldn't just be children with learning disabilities Kotoko-san, some of them are handicapped or have been sick so long that they can't integrate in regular school right away." Dr. Kamogari explained. "I think that it would be a wonderful place to start your career and you would be helping so many underprivileged children."

"How…how soon does Suzuki-sensei need to know my answer? Kotoko asked. Her heart was pounding — she always knew that she would need to return to Tokyo at some point, but she had not expected it to be so soon, and she was unsure if she was ready to return to the city she had left in tears all those years ago.

"Well the new school year will start soon but there are administrative matters that need to be set up before then and Suzuki-san will need help with those tasks." Dr. Kamogari replied. "Can you think about about it and let me know in a week's time? If you decide not to do it, I am sure we can find something else for you — but Kotoko-san, this is a wonderful opportunity because Suzuki-san is setting up the program from scratch - you would have the opportunity to provide input on the program from the very start. "

"I will think about it and let you know Kamogari-sensei. It's just…I..well I guess it just haven't really considered returning to that place — Tonan, that is…all my friends have graduated now and I won't know..anyone." Kotoko rambled on distractedly. She couldn't say anything to Dr. Kamogari but the truth was, she had said her goodbyes to Tonan and all its bad memories when she had left for Kyo-dai.

"Take your time Kotoko-san, you have a week to think about it." Dr. Kamogari said, patting the young woman's hand. "And as for not knowing anyone there, wouldn't it be probably the same wherever it is you start a new job? As it happens, you'll be with your mentor Suzuki-san — and I can't recall if I may or may not have mentioned this to you, but my son Keita is a nursing student at Tonan Hospital – he has his nursing license but is working towards a sub-specialization in pediatric nursing there. I am sure you and he would get along well. He was just here actually, I mentioned you to him but I should have thought about introducing the two of you but he had to rush to catch his train back to Tokyo."

"Arigato gozaimas Kamogari-sensei." Kotoko bowed and took her leave, her mind troubled by the choice she needed to make. "I will let you know my answer before the end of the week." Completely missing Dr. Kamogari's last comment and failing to make the connection, a somewhat troubled young woman left.

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That evening, Kotoko sat on the tiny balcony off the side of her apartment looking over at the city as the late afternoon darkened to dusk, then the dusk gave way to the velvety darkness of evening and until small pinpricks of light began blooming in the night. Her thoughts were heavy with remembrances — she had loved the last three years of her life in Kyoto – it was close enough for her father to make his occasional visits, but far away enough from Tokyo and its memories.

To be sure, once Kotoko had shaken the dust of Tokyo from her shoes, she and her father had somehow created an unspoken rule of never speaking of the reasons why she had left. It was the same with Jinko and Satomi — and even Kin-chan, on the rare occasions they spoke — it was as if Irie Naoki had never existed in Kotoko's world.

(Although even if she tried not to think of him, there were still times when her thoughts would drift to the serious eyed young man she had loved so much, and she would wonder if he thought of her too. Still, with the passing of time, the sharp edges of her last memories had dulled and Kotoko could think of Naoki without feeling like the memories cut into her skin — and there were even times when she could laugh at herself ruefully, understanding why she had irritated him so — having realised how annoying and foolish she had been to stalk him all those years ago, the ridiculous and childish stunts she had pulled to either spy on him or catch his attention and remembering the way she persistently dogged his every step even when he made it clear he had wanted no part of her.)

Kotoko had occasionally corresponded with Mrs. Irie whom she still loved like a mother — but it was done to ensure that her exact whereabouts were kept a secret, otherwise, Shigeo said, Mrs. Irie would be on the next train o Kyoto. So Shigeo never revealed where Kotoko was and Kotoko's letter's were hand delivered by Shigeo to Irie Noriko so that there was never a return address. In the beginning, Mrs. Irie had been her persistent, determined self in trying to determine where Kotoko was but Kotoko had been adamant that while she was doing well, she needed the time away from the family to move on. Eventually it became so that Mrs Irie never asked anymore and Kotoko volunteered no information about where she was beyond that she was no longer in Tokyo, that she was studying and that she was happy. So Irie Noriko too, put away her dreams of Kotoko and Naoki, though she kept the young woman still in her heart.

As she sat in the quiet of the dark, the young woman made her decision. It was time to stop running away. Whatever had happened between Irie Naoki and herself, it was time. She had grown up and for all she knew he had been happily married these past years — she had never asked and no one among her friends nor her father had ever dared mention him to her, not wanting to disturb the hard won equilibrium Kotoko had found for herself in Kyoto.

There was little chance of running into him anyway she thought, he must have graduated from Tonan several years ago. And perhaps he and Sahoko were not even living with his family, for she couldn't imagine the wealthy young heiress agreeing to live with her in-laws. If so, then perhaps with time, she could visit Obasama and Ojisama she thought. She smiled, thinking it would be nice to see them again and see how Yuki had grown up. He would be 17 now though in her mind, she remembered him still as her arch nemesis, tormentor — and on that last night before she left, her little brother.

With a sigh, knowing that her decision had been made, Kotoko returned inside her small apartment, her refuge, her home for the last four years and pulled out her phone to make the call.

"Moshi moshi? Outosan? I'm coming home."

AUTHORS NOTE: I love my version of Kotoko here She is still Kotoko-ish I think, but a bit more mature and introspective. The next chapter is where the story will actually begin in earnest, the first four leading up to this. I hope you stick around for the rest of it and drop me a review if you are enjoying the story so far.

Disclaimer : I do not own any part of Itazura Na Kiss — but this plot and story are mine.


	6. Chapter6NewSpringDawning

CHAPTER 6

NEW SPRING DAWNING

"It's Irie Sensei…" a pretty young nurse stage whispered to the friend beside her as they stood behind the nurses' station of the pediatric ward of Tonan University Hospital.

"He's coming over here.." the friend giggled excitedly, then turned and a cast a stern eye at the girl next to her. "It's my turn to go with him on his rounds — don't you dare interfere!" She whispered ominously.

"Yes sempai.." the younger nurse acquiesced, knowing she would be in for a world of hurt if she in any way tried to catch his attention while her senior was in the same room. "It's not as if YOU have any chance with him anyway…" she thought quite nastily, handing over the stack of charts to her sempai.

"…and don't think we didn't notice you arranging the roster so that your night shift group always includes Kamogari-san." The older nurse warned, casting an irate glance at her kouhai.

At the beginning of each new year, the older nurses made it very clear to all the incoming junior nurses that certain young doctors and the rare male nurse who caught their eye (such as Irie Naoki) was off-limits to them, the older nurses staked their territory well and any one of the younger nurses who was foolish enough to compete for their would no doubt be bullied by the older nurses.

"Don't you think we notice you trying to flirt with him…so pathetic…" Nurse Tsumugi Kaori said with a sneer. "And with Kamogari-san as well. You DO remember the heirarchy here don't you?"

Fluffing her hair and pulling up her tight uniform skirt a bit higher to show off her long legs, the older nurse put on her brightest smile, anticipating Irie-sensei's arrival. Sadly, there were only three patients admitted today so Irie-sensei's rounds would be short but she vowed to make the most of her fifteen minute opportunity.

Irie Naoki was a Pediatric Intern, quite famous in Tonan for completing his medical studies in three years instead of the usual six, by managing to almost perfect the written assessments, allowing him to get credit for his first two years of college and then skip two years of medical school. He had graduated just the past semester and the hospital was ecstatic that he chose to continue his specialisation in Tonan even if other more prestigious teaching hospitals had offered him positions in their pediatrics programs.

Among the female population of the hospital however, Irie Naoki was famous more for his looks than his academics — although his reputation as a genius was certainly part of the attraction. To the despair of the nurses and female doctors however, none of them seemed to manage to catch his eye — and not for the lack of trying. He was always unfailingly polite but also always distant — and every single intrepid woman who had mustered up the courage to confess to him had met with a firm and polite rejection, accompanied by a bland smile.

It was well known in the hospital that Irie Naoki had been engaged to be married to well known society beauty Oizumi Sahako but for reasons undisclosed, a discreet and tasteful announcement had been made in the newspapers a year before what had been touted as the society wedding of the decade that the engagement had been broken. Six months later, Oizumi Sahako married handsome young lawyer, Watanabe Junichi, the son of an equally wealthy and prominent family and long time friends of the Oizumi clan. More juicily – at least to the inveterate gossips – Watanabe-san had been a high school friend of Irie Naoki. Speculation ran rampant that Irie Naoki had been thrown over for Watanabe and for a while the financial papers speculated on the future of Pandai, the Irie family company.

It seemed however that the withdrawal of the Oizumi funding did not adversely impact Pandai when the gaming company, with Irie Naoki at the helm, created a spin off company completely independent of the Oizumi zaibatsu funding=.

The new company which was called "Sakurai" released a best selling game called Racquet Warrior Kotorin a few weeks after the broken engagement. This development immediately shot Sakurai into the ranks of successful gaming companies and shifted the spotlight from the gossip over of the cancelled wedding. A few months later, to the shock of the business community, Irie Naoki announced his resignation as both Sakurai and Pandai's CEO, returning the helm of both companies back to his father Irie Shigeki who had by then, fully recovered from his health issues.

The following semester, Irie Naoki resumed his studies at Tonan, surprising everyone by withdrawing from his business degree course and enrolling in the medical program. When asked about the seemingly sudden and off-tangent decision and why he had suddenly decided to become a doctor, Irie Naoki merely replied that "I made a promise to someone that I would."

By then, most of his contemporaries in Tonan had already graduated and very few remained who would even have remembered the tiny, insignificant footnote that was all Aihara Kotoko was in its history. Naoki was relieved, for he did not always look back on those days comfortably, remembering the way he had been and how badly he had treated the girl who was now gone - time and maturity having cursed him with the blessing of hindsight.

Nonetheless, Irie Naoki's unconscious personal policy to never speak of himself or his past backfired on him. And instead of quelling the curiosity about his past, the broken engagement and Oizumi Sahoko, his reticence only made his many (female) admirers more curious. To assuage their hurt feelings from the unrelenting indifference that was all Irie Naoki could offer the women who confessed to him, the many rejected females simply insisted that Irie Naoki must still be pining away for Oizumi Sahoko and could not return their feelings — for who would not?

The Oizumi's were big philanthropic donors to Tonan's charity medical program and those who saw Sahoko-san during her quite regular visits to the pediatric charity ward could believe why Irie Naoki could have fallen for her and would still be carrying a torch for the lovely young society matron.

It was strange however that Oizumi Sahoko and Irie Naoki seemed to still be on civil if not friendly terms on the occasions they met at the hospital, but the hopeful young admirers simply chalked it up to Irie-sensei's impeccable manners and the good breeding of the former couple.

Naoki proceeded in his usual unhurried gait to the nurse's station, not knowing that his less than two minute approach to his destination had been accompanied by so much speculation and competition among the nurses.

"Konnichiwa — it's time for my rounds, may I have the patient's charts please?" He said, a blandly pleasant smile on his face as usual.

"Konnichiwa Irie-sensei, I am Nurse Tsumugi Kaori and I'll be accompanying you today. You can call me Kaori." The enthusiastic nurse offered, smiling her brightest smile (and then a bit annoyed as it did not seem to have the same effect that it did on the other young male residents).

"Arigato Nurse, shall we begin?" Naoki replied, to her chagrin he simply ignored her offer of the use of her given name. (And in fact, the younger nurse noticed with malicious glee, he did not even seem to have bothered to remember her name).

The rounds proceeded as expected, Nurse Tsumugi making every effort to catch the young doctor's eye, taking every opportunity to brush her hands against him as she handed him various medical implements throughout the rounds and making her extremely annoyed that he continued to seem oblivious despite all her efforts. Finally, they had reached the last room — the patient, Nobuhiro Nobunaga was a 12 year old cardiac patient who had been in and out of the hospital since his early childhood due to the need for repeat surgeries.

"Konnichiwa Nobuhiro-kun. And how are you feeling today?" Naoki asked, as he began examining the petulant boy.

Nobuhiro frowned. For this round of treatment, he had already been admitted for over a month, recovering from his last surgery and was thoroughly tired of the hospital. The son of a wealthy older couple, he had been an unexpected surprise to his parents who had been married for 20 years and had resigned themselves to having no children when he was conceived. However, he had been born with a weak heart with an underdeveloped valve which meant that he was constantly in and out of the hospital and consequently, had missed many days of school. This, coupled with the fact that he had been diagnosed with mild attention deficit disorder and low level dyslexia put him severely behind in terms of academic level as his peers.

"When are you letting me out of this place?" the boy complained, glaring at Naoki.

Naoki smiled, thinking how much the grumpy boy reminded him of his own brother at that age.

"Well that was a pretty serious surgery Nobuhiro-kun and you need to recover properly. We need to make sure that you're well before we can clear you. Are you getting impatient for school?" He asked.

Nobuhiro had been one of Naoki's first patients when the latter began his pediatric residency and despite the boy's prickly demeanor, the young doctor had grown fond of him. As for the boy, he secretly admired the cool Dr. Irie and trusted him after the many weeks he had been under the young physician's care.

"School? As if…." Nobuhiro scoffed "I hate my school — I have no friends and everyone thinks I'm…you know…stupid." He said, his face flushing.

"Stupid?" Naoki inquired "Who says that?"

"Everyone in my class that's who…" Nobuhiro muttered. "I've missed so much school that I'm behind in everything and they all tell me I'm a baka or that I'm too lazy to study...but I…I DO try to study when I'm not too sick… So maybe I really Amy jut stupid."

Naoki shook his head sadly, remembering.

"That's not true." He assured the boy as he began writing in the chart and signalling the nurse to leave them. "You're not at all stupid – and in fact, I admire you."

With an ill-disguised pout, Nurse Tsumugi left the room in a sulk.

"Me? You admire ME?" Nobuhiro scoffed again, unable to imagine his idol admiring anything about him.

"Yes, you. You are strong, you're a fighter — and you've been a fighter ever since you were a little boy and you've been fighting against your heart problem all these years. I know the surgeries have been painful, but you never give up — and on top of that, you still make such an effort to keep up with school." Naoki explained.

"Uh…well..that is…" Nobuhiro stuttered, suddenly embarrassed. "Irie-sensei…do you think I'm…that is…do you think I could be a doctor like you when I grow up? Am I too stupid?"

Naoki looked up from the chart in surprise, this was the first he heard of it.

"Nobuhiro-kun, if this is something you really want to do, I know you can do it. Don't let other people impose their own wrong judgments on how you see myself — and many people will make that mistake, they will make snap judgments about you — I'm not proud of it, but I used to be one of those kinds of people myself." Naoki explained.

"But then I realized that whether you are smart or not is only half the battle — if you are willing to work hard and are determined to accomplish something, you will find a way to do it." Naoki continued, his heart clenching painfully in the way it sometimes did when he remembered someone whom he himself had misjudged so badly. "So never ever let anyone convince you are stupid."

"What made you decide that you want to become a doctor?" He asked the boy curiously.

"Well…I guess it's because I practically grew up in here so I think it's interesting what doctors do…"Nobuhiro replied, gesturing towards the hospital room "…and also Irie-sensei, I want to be like you when I grow up."

"Ah…be careful what you wish for Nobuhiro-kun…you don't really want to be like me." Naoki smiled ruefully, shaking his head and ruffling the boy's hair as he prepared to leave. "Anyway, I need to go as I have been called to a meeting by my sensei, so I will see you tomorrow?"

"Why did YOU want to become a doctor?" Nobuhiro asked, turning the tables on the young doctor.

Naoki paused in the midst of opening the door. "Someone…someone important to me once told me I should."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After he left the room, Naoki went on his way to his boss's office, still lost in thought.

Dr. Yamakura was the head of pediatrics and had taken the promising young doctor under his wing immediately after Naoki joined the pediatrics department. Even only after a few short months, Naoki already had a lot of respect for the older man who had become his mentor. After a quick knock, Naoki heard his sensei bid him to come in and he entered.

"Konnichiwa sensei." Naoki greeted his sensei politely and following the older doctor's gesture, took a seat across the wide wooden desk.

"Ah Irie-san! Thank you for coming — just the person I wanted to see." Dr. Yamakura said, a smile breaking across his friendly face.

"Yes sensei?"

"So the reason I called you today — are you familiar with Dr. Suzuki?" the older physician asked.

"Of the psychology department sensei?" Naoki replied, wondering where the discussion was leading. "I know OF her, but I have never met her personally. We do not have a lot of interaction with the psychology department..."

"Ah, so you must not have heard? I assumed that since you are friendly with Oizumi Sahoko-san that she might have mentioned it."

Naoki stiffened, his face freezing up into its usual guarded expression when his past was mentioned. Dr. Yamakura was however, oblivious to this as he shuffled through the papers on his desk, seemingly trying to locate some document.

"Well to cut to the chase, the Oizumi foundation along with several other donors are funding a special program in the University Hospital — it will be a joint project between the Pediatrics Department and the Psychology Department. Dr. Suzuki is putting together a pilot class for children with special educational needs like mild autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or those who have been long term patients in the hospital who may have missed a lot of school." Dr. Yamakura explained, still occasionally grumbling to himself as he seemed unable to find whatever it was he looking for.

"I see sensei. And where do I fit in into all this?" Naoki asked curiously.

"I need a liaison and dedicated pediatric consultant for the project — I thought you would be the best candidate." Dr. Yamakura finally cut to the chase. "Don't worry, it will not significantly increase your workload and the program will be housed in the newly constructed south wing so it is not too far from here."

"It sounds interesting sensei – but what exactly would I be contributing?"

"Well, primarily, you would identify potential candidates for the program from our pediatrics patients and refer them to Dr. Suzuki. She will have her own staff and I understand Nurse Hosoi is also assigning a few of her nurses on a rotating schedule so I don't think your interaction with them will be extensive. Occasionally you may be called upon to do an examination or consult in case anything untoward happens but that should only happen rarely."

Naoki nodded in his usual impassive way.

"What made you select me sensei? Surely my sempais would be more qualified than I? I am very junior." Naoki asked curiously. "I would not want to disrupt the heirarchy…"

"Bah…" Dr. Yamakura harrumphed in annoyance. "I am still the head of this department am I not?"

(In reality, the older doctor had selected Irie Naoki at the recommendation of the Head Nurse, Hosoi — who had said that while Irie seemed very cold and detached, he was actually very empathetic and gentle and thus extremely popular with his young patients while at the same time, seemingly immune to the overtures of flirtatious young nurses and even patients' predatory mothers.)

Naoki was silent. Although he was very curious and excited about the program, he did not want to trample all over the very delicate balance of seniority and heirarchy between residents of different years in the department, well aware that his acceleration in the medical program had already been met with much resentment.

"Thank you for the opportunity sensei, I will do my best."

"Arigato gozaimas Irie-San, I am sure you will."

With a brief bow, Naoki left his mentor's room and went about the rest of his work until it was time to go home, completely unaware that he had taken the first step towards a journey that would either make or break the rest of his life and happiness.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As if it had all been orchestrated by some cruel fate with a twisted sense of humour, the first person Naoki ran into at the elevator on his way out was none other than Oizumi Sahoko.

"Naoki-san!" Sahoko exclaimed in surprise, her heart still fluttering – for though she was married now, she had never really forgotten her love for Irie Naoki.

"Konnichiwa. You are on your way home?" She asked, recovering herself quickly.

"Good afternoon to you too Oizumi-san." Naoki bowed politely. "Or is it Watanabe-san now?"

"Ah…Oizumi still, soon after our wedding, Junichi-san agreed to take on our last name as grandfather wished." Sahoko explained.

Naoki nodded, looking at her critically and noting that while she was was beautiful as ever, her beauty still seemed so…still and placid…and that it still failed to move him in any way.

He wondered how his friend Watanabe had been convinced to take the Oizumi name, for the Watanabes were almost as old a family as the Oizumis were. But then again, Junichi was a second son and not expected to inherit the bulk of the Watanabe fortunes.

And then Naoki wondered — if he and Sahoko had ended up together, would he be Oizumi Naoki now instead of Irie Naoki? And his smile twisted bitterly.

Returning himself to the present, Naoki realized he had yet to reply to Sahoko.

"Yes, I am. I just came from my mentor — Yamakura-sensei's office. I understand your foundation is funding the special education project we are partnering with the psychology department on?"

"Why yes – I actually have an appointment with Yamakura-sensei, that's why I am here…we are organising a fundraising ball for the programme…" Sahoko explained.

Ah, of course. Naoki thought. Remembering all about Sahoko and her charity balls.

"Are you participating in the program?" She asked Naoki whose mind seemed to have wandered off.

"Yes, actually Yamakura-sensei has just asked me to be the pediatric consultant for the program." He replied.

"That is nice." Sahoko said with a gracious smile. "It will be nice that we will be seeing each other more often then."

Naoki nodded and smiled as well, wondering how long it would be until the next elevator arrived and to his great relief, the elevator chimed.

"I will be taking my leave Oizumi-San." He said, bowing politely and motioning towards the elevator.

Sahoko nodded goodbye and with a last wistful look at the closing elevator doors, turned and went on her way.

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"Otousan!" The young woman said excitedly as she exited the turnstiles from the bullet train.

The older gentleman waiting for her quickly engulfed her in a big hug, too overcome by emotion to mind the curious stares they were getting from passers-by. While he had just seen her two weeks before, she was home (for good he hoped) and not for one of her rare flying visits to Tokyo.

"Kotoko-chan! It is good to have you back." Aihara Shigeo said, pulling back from the embrace and holding his daughter at arms length so he could examine her.

She looked even more like her mother than he remembered and he felt almost overwhelmed because she looked so healthy, animated and happy — for he remembered that winter afternoon when he had sent her off to Kyoto when she had had tears in her eyes and a quiver in her voice.

Taking her lone suitcase, he put a hand behind her back and started guiding her to the taxi stand. "Is this all you have?" He asked.

"Yes Otousan, I shipped the rest and they should already at my new apartment." Kotoko responded. "We can go straight to Fugoyoshi if you want — I am very excited to see my friends."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay with me?" Shigeo asked, hoping she had changed her mind. "Your bedroom is waiting for you, you know. Tokyo is a lot different from Kyoto and I worry…."

"Don't worry about me Otousan! And thank your for finding me the apartment. I promise to come visit you often — but I do want to try living on my own like a real adult!" The girl interrupted, smiling at her father. She wold always b a little girl in his eyes she supposed.

It had been a whirlwind month after Kotoko had informed Dr. Kamogari of her decision to accept the position in Tonan — terminating her lease, packing up the accumulation of objects that represented the three years she had spent in Kyoto and then planning her move back to Tokyo. With the help of her father, Kotoko had found a small but functional apartment only train stop away from the university, she could even walk home in good weather.

It was tiny but all hers. And Kotoko decided it would spell the beginning of her new life in Tokyo.

Jinko, Satomi and Kinnosuke had been overjoyed to hear of her decision and while Kotoko was apprehensive about going back to Tokyo, Jinko assured her that their old gang of friends would support Kotoko as they always did. It was rare that they saw any of the Iries, Kinnosuke assured her, and on the rare times that the Iries came to Fugoyoshi for a meal, it was usually just the Irie couple and no one spoke of Naoki.

As for Tonan, Jinko assured Kotoko that very few, if any, of the people who had been in their class was still at university and if at all, Kotoko told herself that no one would remember what a fool she had made of herself over Irie Naoki. Meanwhile, her new office would be close enough for Kotoko and herself to meet up for lunch sometimes.

Satomi had readily chimed in — joking that she wold abuse Kotoko's free babysitting services now that she was back and that Yuuki was excited to see "Awnty Koto-nee". Satomi had once mentioned seeing Naoki and Sahoko at some charity function (Kotoko assumed they would be married by now) and with some malicious glee, narrated how she had certainly put the "Asshole Irie" (as Kim-chan fondly referred to him) in his place.

Kotoko had laughed, more because of how much satisfaction Satomi seemed to have gotten over finally giving Irie a piece of her mind than anything —for she told herself that she had no lingering feelings of ill will towards Naoki. To her mind, he had always been very honest about his lack of feelings about her — and if anything, she had been the one at fault for choosing to chase after him, to misinterpret anything he did as a sign of a non-existent affection.

These days, she could almost think of him without that pang of pain in her heart, and she could say his name without her voice cracking, or sleep at night without seeing him in hr dreams.

Mostly.

Tired from the journey, the late night celebration at Fugoyoshi with Jinko, Satomi and Kinnosuke, and settling into her new apartment Kotoko, nonetheless found herself staring wide awake at her ceiling – both excited and anxious to start her new job the following day.

And yet, when the young woman finally succumbed to sleep — she dreamed of that night from long ago when an intense young man, in a fit of pique, had stolen her first kiss, challenging her "See if you can forget me after this."

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Disclaimer: I do not own Itazura Na Kiss and no infringement is intended. This story and plot are mine.

Author's Note: Apologies for any medical errors or technical mistakes. I am not a medical nor education professional. While I try to do my homework, I know google is not always the most reliable source.


	7. Crosswinds

Chapter 7

Crosswinds

CHAPTER 7

Crosswinds

It was a comfortable silence, as if they had known each other much longer than they actually had the young woman thought. She had been working for the Special Education program of Tonan for about two weeks now and on her first day of work, she had been pleasantly surprised and somehow, inexplicably flustered when she discovered that her rescuer from the sidewalk mishap weeks before in Kyo-dai had been none other than Kamogari Keita, son of her faculty adviser Dr. Kamogari and also — her co-worker at the SPED as everyone referred to it.

Glancing curiously sideways at the young man working quietly beside her, Kotoko flushed when he caught her staring.

"See anything you like?" He asked mischievously. Truthfully, his quicksilver changes of mood baffled her. Most of the time he was incredibly serious, and very stern when she made mistakes. He was about her age and although he already completed his nursing degree and passed the national examinations, he was also working at SPED in pursuit of credits for his sub-specialisation in pediatric nursing. More than once, he spoke so earnestly of his ambition to become the best pediatric nurse in the country, although he also spoke of how his mother wished for him to consider a medical degree. Kotoko admired the young man and often thought how her own love for her new career mirrored his dedication to his.

But then, on occasion he would seem to break out into sudden fits of flirtatiousness which never failed to fluster Kotoko. It seemed today was one of those days.

"Ah…nothing.. Kamogari-San, just thinking about my new class and our schedule for tomorrow."

"I don't mind you looking…if I can look as well." He teased, delighting in how easy it was to get Kotoko to blush like a teenager. He wasn't IN love with her, he assured himself, he was much too busy for romance and all that — but he thought sometimes, that maybe it would be nice…

"Well, it's almost five, I'm due to report for my night shift at the pediatric wing. Aren't you going home yet?" He asked. It had become almost a habit now, for them to walk down together after work or to the station when he wasn't on duty. And occasionally, he considered asking Kotoko to go out — a thought he quickly dispelled as being too soon, being the cautious person that he was. Maybe in a few months…

"Ah yes, I should get going too." Kotoko replied, realising what a long day it had been, although honestly, she loved her work and her new job and didn't mind the hours. After two weeks she was also vastly relieved that she not run into anyone who seemed to remember her somewhat painful history and appreciated having Kamogari as a co-worker and friend.

"Why don't we walk together — I'm heading out too anyway." Keita offered, packing up his things and waiting for Kotoko by the door to the office.

The two made their way to the elevators, not saying much though both felt comfortable with the silence. It was to Kotoko's shock when, upon reaching the end of the hallway, she saw the last person she expected to see.

"Oizumi-san?" She said hesitantly, unsure if the other woman would recognise her after so many years. Though she would have preferred to have avoided her, the narrow confines of the corridor made it impossible to pretend she had not seen her and Kotoko's natural politeness compelled her to greet the other woman.

"Konnichiwa…Aihara-san, is it not? And of course, Kamogari-San, we have met before" Sahoko replied, making a small polite bow.

There were very few times when Oizumi Sahoko lost her composure, and this was one of them. It seemed to her a cruel joke that she would run into HER, of all people, within the same hour that she had run into Irie Naoki. It had been years and while she acknowledged that Aihara Kotoko had been long gone when her engagement fell apart, she still harboured a strong dislike for this slip of girl — so imperfect and lacking compared to her but who had still managed to ruin her relationship with Irie Naoki. But being the well bred lady she was, Oizumi Sahoko quickly recovered her composure and plastered a convincingly sincere smile on her face. So typical of the girl to find the nearest good looking man and immediately latch on to him Sahoko thought as she noticed that Kamogari Keita had seemed to unconsciously position himself as a human barrier between them, wondering if the two were in a relationship.

"Ah yes…it is good to see you Oizumi-San..or is it…" Kotoko stammered, unsure what to call her and finding herself strangely reluctant to call Sahoko "Irie-San".

"Oizumi-San, my husband chose to adopt my maiden name so I have kept mine." Sahoko replied, her eyes glinting of malicious mischief as she wondered if Aihara even knew that the marriage to Naoki never went through and if the naive girl jumped to the wrong conclusion, that certainly would not be Sahoko's fault.

"It is good to see you as well, but what are you doing here?" She asked, not quite sure why she felt so inexplicably angry that it Aihara and Naoki where once again in the close vicinity of each other.

"Aihara-San works with me at the SPED. She is our new special education teacher Oizumi-san." Kamogari responded on behalf of the suddenly dumbstruck Kotoko.

"Ah interesting!" Sahoko exclaimed gaily. "And does Naoki know? I just left him at the elevators." Again, Sahoko congratulate herself on her cleverness. Technically she had not lied — she HAD just seen Irie Naoki at the elevators, and if the girl took this the wrong way, that was due to her own stupidity was it not?

"Oh no Oizumi-san, I had no idea he was here." Kotoko replied nervously — thanking the gods that the two had not been together — she didn't really know how she would have dealt with seeing them together.

"Well it was pleasant seeing you — I'll tell Naoki we ran into each other and that I met your boyfriend."

"We're not…he's just.." Kotoko stammered but Sahoko simply went on as if she had not heard Kotoko interject.

"I would love to chat but I'm afraid Naoki has made me run late…" Sahoko giggled, causing Kotoko to go even paler.

"I actually am on my way to see Suzuki-sensei about the gala dinner I am organising o raise funds for the SPED program…although I am not sure if you would be there? It really is a pity it's just for the senior members of team…" Sahoko said dismissively and with another polite inclination of her head, made her way down the hallway.

Once they were out of hearing, and at the elevators, Kamogari finally allowed his curiosity overcome him.

"So you know Oizumi-San? Her family is a big donor to the hospital so I have met here a few times. What about you?" He asked Kotoko. He himself, had only met her once before but he vaguely remembered hearing his fellow nurses mention her a few times though he could not recall in what context. Yet he wondered from Kotoko's suddenly pale face and nervous look what had just happened in the two minutes they had seen the society beauty.

"She was…she was someone I met a long time ago through family friends. She married someone…I…knew before I moved to Kyoto." Kotoko replied slowly, as if still taking stock of the situation.

"Are you ok?" Kamogari asked, a bit worried at how pale she had gotten.

"Yes Kamogari-San, I'm fine…just a little tired from today." Kotoko replied evasively, though she avoided his eyes and stared at the elevator panel wishing for it to open right there and then.

Luckily, her wish was granted and the full elevator forestalled any conversations until it reached the ground floor where the two went their separate ways —

The young man went off to night duty and to wonder what exactly he was missing in the intriguing though brief interaction he had witnessed between the two women and also — why he had a sudden, strong urge to protect Kotoko.

And the other, the troubled young woman, to walk slowly home in the deepening spring twilight remembering her past and praying that she would manage to avoid Sahoko and Naoki as much as she could.

Kotoko's heart clenched when she noticed herself under a fully blossoming cherry tree. It seemed ironic that it was sakura season once again and that — once more, she was confronted by Sahoko and Irie's love story, as she had been four years before.

But Kotoko, being Kotoko, shook herself and reminded herself that she was no longer the weak, stupid, unwanted girl she had been — she had found her own dream and won it — and she would not let them drive her out of the hospital and the new job that she loved. It had been years! She was over this, she told herself — it was just the shock of seeing Oizumi Sahoko again after all these years. She would be stronger next time — and even seeing her with Naoki would not faze her.

And with a firm determination to try harder to forget, the young woman lifted her chin and smiled — catching a few falling petals in her hand as the wind blew and made her way home.

Tomorrow was going to be better.

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It was really a very nondescript little park, but one quite near the station closest to his house and by cutting through it, you ended up only a block away from their street. There was nothing special or outstanding about it – it was not particularly beautiful except in the spring when the few cherry trees were in blossom. Otherwise, it was just a tiny pocket of green such as you could find anywhere in Tokyo — a few benches, unremarkable flower beds full of unremarkable flowers and a slightly worn down playground set that was nonetheless, quite popular with the neighbourhood kids.

Since he had begun his high school studies in Tonan, it had been part of his daily routine — and hers – to pass this way. In the past, he had never really lingered here, it was just a shortcut to home. But ever since he had started medical school, he found himself stopping here at the end of the day, even if it was just for a few minutes whenever he came from the train station – probably because was the closest place where he could have any privacy from the constant noise and chaos that was his house. Though truthfully, the house had been calm and quiet ever since the Aiharas had moved out years ago — his mother was still the whirlwind of activity that she always had been, but Yuki was a young man now and was often out with his friends, and his father frequently at the office. Meals were quiet, interrupted only by Irie Noriko's cheerful monologue as the three men in her life remained as quiet as thy usually were. The chaos and noise and laughter with which Aihara Kotoko had infected the whole household — her constant bickering with Yuki, the funny accidents she caused, her enthusiastic adoption of his mother's harebrained schemes — all these had been conspicuously absent for years.

Remembering how annoyed he would get at her constant motion and noise, It was true then – that old, worn out adage that you only missed something when it was gone.

Naoki stopped at a bench, popping open the can of coffee he had purchased from a nearby vending machine and sat down. He felt strangely introspective after today – he did not really understand what it was, perhaps it had been running into Sahoko at the hospital that had brought about this uncharacteristic mood. It was dinner time, although the sky was still light in the early evening, the hordes of elementary school kids usually laughing and playing in the park were conspicuous by their absence. A petal fell and landed on his hand, and looking up Naoki noticed that the cherry trees where in full bloom once again.

"_Baka, will you hurry up? Mother has called twice and they're waiting for us for dinner." Impatiently, the young man turned wondering what was keeping his shadow. She had been chatting nonstop since they had exited the station – truthfully, he did had not paid any attention to what she had been going on about and he was suddenly struck when she went quiet._

_He turned and saw her twirling about, her arms wide open, looking up as sakura petals fell al around her._

_"Oh…gomen Irie-kun'' the girl had said embarrassedly "It's just that the flowers — I wish I were like a sakura sometimes — you know? They are so beautiful!" The girl said enthusiastically as she gathered up her fallen scarf and bag, preparing to catch up with the young man who was waiting so impatiently._

_"You want to be something that blooms for two weeks and then dies?" he asked caustically._

_"Well..it would be nice…to be beautiful don't you think? To bring happiness to people? Even if it is just for a little while.."_

Thinking about it, the young man realized that this small nondescript park had actually borne witness to several events that had shaped his life.

It had been one of those nights — in an effort to bring Sahoko closer to his family, Naoki had convinced his very reluctant mother to invite the Oizumi's to dinner at his home. Despite the many months that Kotoko had left, she still had to force herself to be nice to her son's fiancee, and when Naoki argued that there was absolutely nothing to dislike about Sahoko — Irie Noriko would caustically retort that there was also absolutely nothing to like, and that so much perfection and sweetness gave her a toothache.

Though ostensibly it had been a simple dinner to get the two families together, Naoki had actually been excited to announce that he had finished work his special project — a game which he was sure would allow Pandai to recover its standing as a forerunner in the gaming industry once again.

Some months before, his secretary had informed him that there were visitors awaiting him, claiming to be old friends from Tonan. Curious, he had agreed to see the visitors — and shocked to find Aihara Kotoko's otaku friends from the Anime club. Reluctant at first and wondering what they wanted, he had ended up in a conference room with them for several hours as they presented a game they had created — a character called Kotorin. It was immediately obvious that while it had began as an homage to Aihara (whom the geeky members of the Anime Club apparently had crushes on), it was actually a game which Naoki immediately recognised would revolutionise the gaming industry. It would be a first for Pandai and a first in the gaming industry as it utilised motion sensor technology without the need for special attachments like the Wii. The 3 hour conference had turned into an intense 6 months of game development and finally, the demo was ready to launch to the public — and he wanted to share the news with his family first.

Unfortunately, his announcement and the playback of the game preview after dinner (while It had met an enthusiastic reception from his parents and Yuki) had not elicited the expected joyful reaction from the Oizumis.

_"The main character seems very familiar Naoki-san" Chairman Oizumi had said after there had been a long, uncomfortable silence post his family's enthusiastic cheers and applause. "Have you done test marketing on this? Perhaps there is still time to change the game design?"_

_"Ah yes Oizumi Kaichou," Naoki's father intercepted the question "You may recall your family friends the Aiharas? This game was designed by friends of the daughter Kotoko-chan and they modelled the character after her." Irie Shigeki had his own theory on why his older son had been so obsessed with developing and launching the game but understood implicitly that Naoki would need to recognise his own reasons for himself. And meanwhile, he needed to diffuse the suddenly tense atmosphere in the room._

_Chairman Oizumi exchanged a meaningful look with Sahoko's parents, although the girl herself had remained silent, her face as expressionless as ever, her usual placid smile in place, though it seemed a bit forced._

_Naoki was surprised, after all, the market studies and initial testing had shown great interest in the game — and the demo had been one of the most downloaded apps in the previous month when they had conducted the market tests._

_"I'm afraid that the copyright over this game is co-owned with the creators and they have made it a condition in our contract that the main character and game aesthetics cannot be changed." Naoki explained._

_"Well I for one, think that it's very…crass and vulgar." Oizumi Sayuri, Sahoko's mother sniffed condescendingly. "Although of course…what do I know? There is really no telling what appeals to the commoner's tastes." _

_Naoki could see his mother about to erupt and with a wordless glance at Yuki who immediately understood, Yuki ushered his mother out of the room on the pretext that he would help her serve coffee and dessert. Naoki could feel his temper rising. He had worked too long and too hard over the game to give it up now — when it meant that it could drastically improve Pandai's fortunes. _

_(And for other reasons he chose not to share with anyone else)_

_"You are of course entitled to your opinion Madam Oizumi and I respect that — however, our target market are a different eco graphic — we are aiming at teens and pre-teens so I understand why this may not be to everyone's taste." Naoki replied, his face as calm as ever though he was probably as angry as his mother._

_"Well I agree with my daughter on this — I think you should go back to the drawing board. Unless you do a complete re-design and replace that tawdry, cheap looking character, I'm afraid Oizumi Zaibatsu cannot justify allowing you to waste our funding on this." Chairman Oizumi said._

_Naoki's lips had thinned into a taut line. _

_"That's quite unfortunate Oizumi Kaichou." He replied, forcing himself to be polite and calm._

_"Also— I think you should delay this launch until after the wedding, we certainly don't want this sort of cheap gimmicky release to be connected to my granddaughter in any way...don't you agree Sahoko-chan?" Chairman Oizumi said, and though his last statement was phrased as a question, it had the unmistakable ring of a direct order. Or a threat._

_"Unfortunately, we have already planned the launch and marketing has already released the schedule. We cannot postpone this for another six months. Otherwise, it will ruin the traction we have already gained and we know that there are two other competitors who are launching similar games in 6 months. We need to take advantage of the market now." Irie Shigeki said firmly, a firm hand on Naoki's arm to prevent his son from retorting, silently lending his son his support._

_"Ahhhh…Shigeki-San, this is just a small, inconsequential game. Do you think it's worth jeopardizing the good relations between our companies over this?" Chairman Oizumi replied, casting a hard look at the father and son._

_"If that is the case Oizumi Kaichou, I am prepared to release the game under a different company — this way it will not be connected to Oizumi Zaibatsu." Naoki interjected._

_"And what other company would be foolish enough to invest in such a foolish venture? If not for us, Pandai would have collapsed into bankruptcy months ago!" Chairman Oizumi scoffed derisively._

_The atmosphere was very tense and just as Naoki was about to respond, Madam Oizumi swept up from the sofa and signalled her father and husband to follow her._

_"I'm afraid we can't stay for coffee…I just realized I have another appointment to go too." She said airily. "I assume you will be seeing Sahoko-chan home Naoki-San?"_

_Naoki bowed but did not respond, signalling his assent._

_Soon after the Oizumi's left — to a very upset Irie Noriko who nonetheless kept her feelings to herself as Sahoko was still in the house. _

_(The minute the engaged couple walked out the door however, Irie Noriko vented out her anger and disgust at the high-handed Oizumis, to the dismay of her husband and Yuki who had the unpleasant job of calming her down — seeing as they actually agreed with her.)_

_Outside, Naoki and Sahoko walked quietly towards the station, as Sahoko had insisted she would take the train home. They continued in silence until they reached the park — where Sahoko stopped and took a seat on one of the benches under the cherry trees. _

_"Are you…do you really intend to go thru with this game release Naoki-San?" She asked her fiancé._

_"I believe it's a very good game. It will be a success and if the projections on sales prove accurate, Pandai will recover spectacularly." Naoki replied stoically, though he had a feeling where this was going. "And if your family objects, I will find another way to release it."_

_"And…this Kotorin character..she was based after…after…that girl?" Sahoko asked, her voice taking on a hard edge which was quite unusual from her cultivated, gentle tones._

_"Yes." Naoki explained. "After all, the developers were good friends of hers from college." _

_"And you won't consider redesigning the character?" _

_"Look Sahoko-san…" Naoki said exasperatedly. "As I already explained, our contract with the game developers was very express that they retain full creative license over the game." _

_"Even if I object?" Sahoko asked, a hint of steel, very similar to her mother and grandfather's, in her voice. "Why is this idiotic game so important you Irie Naoki?" _

_"Object?" Naoki asked incredulously "I don't really understand why you and your family are reacting this way."_

_"I hate that girl." Sahoko said vehemently, anger vibrating in her voice "I certainly don't want her face splattered all over your advertising."_

_"You…hate her?" Naoki asked, incredulity colouring his voice. "You only met her once. How could you hate her?"_

_"I hate her." Sahoko emphasised "I hate everything about her. I hate that you…" _

_"I what?" Naoki asked, his voice on the verge of rising though he was controlling his temper. "I have not seen her since they left last year. And I certainly don't even mention her to you."_

_"I am not stupid Irie Naoki — don't think I don't know where your mind goes when it wanders away. I KNOW that you have been living and breathing only this stupid game for months because it's about her! Don't think I don't know that every time you tell me something is "nice" that you mean it's boring, because you're comparing me to her in your mind — and for that I hate her, that stupid, ugly, scatterbrained little nobody…" Sahoko was almost shouting now. _

_"That's is unfair Sahoko-San." Naoki said firmly. "I am marrying you after all, not her."_

_"Yes – but deep inside, you wish you were marrying her instead aren't you? This is why you're so obsessed bout this Kotorin game? Isn't this why you don't give a damn about our wedding, why you don't give a damn about anything…because you don't care? You don't care about me or this wedding — because you have always been in love with that baka. " Sahoko asked, challenging him — yet hoping that he would deny it vehemently, that he would get angry, that he would kiss her and soothe her. That he would throw away this stupid game for her. _

_For after all, was she not the flower of the Oizumi line? Was she not the most sought after heiress in Tokyo?_

_Instead, Irie Naoki just stood there looking at her, his face impassive as always — for in truth he was shocked — where had this vile virago come from? It was so different from the picture of perfection, that Yamato Nadeshiko* that Oizumi Sahoko always presented herself to be._

_…. And for her part, Sahoko realized that not once did Irie Naoki deny any part of what she said, and her heart sank._

_Gathering the tattered remains of her temper and dignity, Sahoko stood and put on a calm face. _

_"Gomen nasai Irie-San. I am afraid I cannot go through with this engagement unless you decide to cancel that game. " she said stonily. "If I do not hear from you within the next two days that you have scrapped that game, please consider this wedding cancelled."_

_And with that, she walked away —- though she walked slowly, hoping that he would chase after her._

_And it was quiet until she reached the station, for he stood where he left her._

And the rest as they say, was history.

After three days, Oizumi Sahoko had sent the family chauffeur to the Irie house to return the engagement ring and Chairman Oizumi had made a big announcement to the press that Oizumi Zaibatus's partnership with Pandai had been cancelled.

The news was forgotten however when two weeks later, Sakurai released Racquet Warrior Kotorin and it quickly sold out.

After two weeks on the market, Sakurai had to rush production on a second and then a third batch to meet the demand for the game as the actual sales far exceeded original projections. It was obvious that the pull out of the Oizumi's investment did little to no damage — in fact, it meant more money for the Iries as the shares of stock in Sakurai were fully owned by the Irie family again and the Oizumis could not take any share in the profits. The company were already in talks with Kasuma, Akazama and Yusuki, Kotoko's otaku friends and the developers of Kotorin for the creation of an English version of the mobile app for international release — for which there was already a clamour in the market.

In less than six months, both Sakurai and Pandai were operating in the black — Sakurai becoming the gaming company for all of the application, software and digital games while Pandai retained its more traditional line of toys. At this time, Irie Shigeki returned to Pandai — giving his oldest son the opportunity to leave the family companies and return to school.

To everyone's shock and contrary to all expectations, Irie Naoki abandoned his business degree and enrolled in Medical School.

It had been to this same park that Naoki had found himself returning on the night that he had told his family that he had decided to enter medical school — wanting to go back to the place where he had first told Aihara Kotoko that he had a dream.

A dream that she had given him.

It had been three years since then and Irie Naoki was now a fully licensed physician and deep into his first year of pediatric residency — but though he had enjoyed the challenge of medical school, he now knew that he was still missing that which had been missing all those years. He knew why despite his engrossing studies, a big part of him still remained empty. He now understood that the emptiness had a name and that name was one that he chose to say only to himself in the darkness of night, in the little room that used to be hers.

And yet, he did not go out of his way to fill that emptiness — because part of him realized that he had been at fault and another part of him wanted to see her only when he had achieved his dream.

Back then, he decided that if - no - WHEN he looked for her again, he would be a better man than he was. Someone who would value her for everything that she was, someone who would not just accept her as she was but rather, would celebrate all the things in her which he had run away from.

And then he would lay his medical diploma at her feet — for it had been she who had given him his dream.

The now empty can of coffee had gone cold in his hand and Irie Naoki brought himself back to the present, noticing that he had gripped it so tightly that the thin aluminium can had crumpled. Rising wearily from the bench, Naoki made his way home.

The house was quiet when he got home, the way it had been since the Aiharas left — and he was used to it now. Though sometimes, he would forget and for a few seconds, unconsciously look for the welcoming voice that used to greet him.

Wearily the young man made his way upstairs — little knowing how close he was to the opportunity to fill the void that had been in his life for so many years.

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Yamato nadeshiko is a Japanese term meaning the "personification of an idealized Japanese woman"[1] or "the epitome of pure, feminine beauty"[2]; poised, decorous, kind, gentle, graceful, humble, patient, virtuous, respectful, benevolent, honest, charitable, pious, faithful.

Zaibatsu - a big corporation

Kaichou – "President"

AUTHOR's NOTE : I hope you enjoyed this chapter – I always wondered what was going in Sahoko's pretty little head. Also, there is this park that always seemed to show up in the live action show and it always stuck in my mind for some reason. For me, this is the turning point chapter for Naoki and I want to see him grow more (for lack of a better word) human from this point.

DISCLAIMER : I do not own Itazura Na Kiss and no copyright infringement is intended. However, this plot, retelling and story are mine.


	8. Chapter8HARU

Chapter 8

Haru

"Arigato gozaimas for meeting with me Suzuki-sensei and it will be my pleasure to represent the Pediatric Department in this project. Please take care of me." Irie Naoki bowed politely as he rose from his seat across Dr. Suzuki's desk.

"It was my pleasure as well Irie-san." Dr. Suzuki replied, rising to shake his hand. "Let us work well together."

She scrutinised the young man closely – having been Aihara Kotoko's mentor before the young woman left for Kyoto, she had heard bits and pieces of their story, although Kotoko never really told her the whole story. She could tell however that this young man had hurt her young charge very deeply and she promised herself that she would do everything possible to make sure he didn't get the chance to do so again. Moreover, Kotoko had been doing very well in the month since she had joined the staff and Dr. Suzuki certainly did not want to derail Kotoko's progress due to any upheaval that could be caused by Irie.

"I will immediately start an assessment of my current patients and I will be very happy to refer any who I feel will be ready to join your special education class." Irie Naoki said, "Shall I course the referrals directly to you or do you have a person in charge of this process Sensei?"

"Ah…well…we are still in the process of organising ourselves, as you know, we only started operations about a month ago. For the moment please course all communications through Kamogari Keita. He actually is cross-assigned between us and the Pediatric nursing department to us and he will be your counterpart for this project. It would be easier for you to meet with him as you are in the same floor and the same medical department. In case of any medical issues, he will be our first line of response as well and will in turn refer cases back to you when we need a physician's intervention." Dr. Suzuki replied — making a snap judgment.

She had originally planned for Kotoko to take on this role but the sudden appearance of the man she recognised as the person who had broken Kotoko's heart forced her to change her strategy. She had not known he was a doctor, nor that he was affiliated with Tonan University Hospital. And she had certainly not expected Dr. Yamakura to assign such a junior resident for the role. The last time she recalled speaking to Kotoko about him, on those rare occasions that the young woman opened up to her mentor, Kotoko had told her that Irie Naoki had taken on a CEO role at their family company and had withdrawn from the university. Perhaps there was another Irie Naoki? At any rate, Dr. Suzuki consoled herself, she would try to ensure that the contact between the two departments would be minimal.

Although the Psychology department was within the same hospital complex, it was still quite a walk away and Irie Naoki bid Dr. Suzuki goodbye to return to his wing of the hospital. As he turned the corner however, he heard a familiar laugh — but dismissed it — he had just come off from a 36 hour shift and perhaps he was just tired and hallucinating he thought to himself.

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After the run-in with Oizumi Sahoko, Kotoko had been worried about going to work and also, about Kamogari asking her about the subject further. But the following day, all was back to normal and Kamogari had said nothing to her other than a brief query on whether she was feeling better.

Unbeknownst to Kotoko, Kamogari had violated his own ironclad rule of not resorting to gossip by asking his fellow nurses what they knew of Irie Naoki and Oizumi Sahoko and to his surprise, found out that the Irie Naoki that Kotoko and Oizumi Sahoko had spoken of was none other than the young doctor currently being idolized by his contemporaries in the pediatric nursing department. He was about to inquire further on the Oizumi-Irie marriage but stopped when he noticed the strange looks he was getting. He could sense however, that there was a deeper story but did not want to drag Kotoko into the limelight as he recalled how bothered and shaken she had been during the short conversation with Oizumi Sahoko.

Thus, he promised himself, he would protect his friend from further run ins, seeing as how upset it had made her though she pretended to be fine, and he would try his best to ensure that Irie Naoki never got near Kotoko if he could help it.

It had been an uneventful week so far and the two co-workers had spent a busy morning updating the patient files. There was quite a large response to the SPED program and the issue was now selecting the neediest candidates for until they hired a second teacher, Kotoko could not handle the teaching load on her own.

"That's not funny Kamogari-San!" Kotoko complained, although she laughed along with the handsome young man walking with her as they proceeded down the hall back to their office from the cafeteria. Kotoko felt a little wobbly still, having tripped on the steps leading back to the building. Kamagori Keita had accompanied her to lunch as was the routine they had just naturally fallen into since their work together began. He had caught her just in time to save her from a spectacular fall.

"Well…it kind of was." Keita said with a mischievous smile. "It's amazing how often this happens — when my mother calls I should tell her how you've fallen for me over and over starting that day I met you in Kyoto." He teased.

Kotoko blushed and smile a bit ruefully. She was used to her own clumsiness and had gotten used to being teased about it. But then again, the blush was also caused by Kamogari's unpredictable bursts of flirtatiousness — which coupled with Suzuki-sensei and Kamogari's mother's joint (and quite blatant) matchmaking made Kotoko a bit uncomfortable.

The young nurse beside her gave Kotoko a sideways glance, admiring but not saying anything about how (for lack of a better word, he assured himself) adorable he found her when she was flustered. So much so that he often found himself saying or doing things calculated to cause her reaction — he noticed early on that Kotoko was skittish of males in general, and generally oblivious to overtures by the opposite sex.

Certainly, she paid no attention to the young male interns who somehow seemed to find all sorts of frivolous (to him) excuses to drop by the SPED in the recent days. And it was not that she was coquettish or playing hard to get — it was obvious the she just either wasn't interested or the most likely explanation, did not believe she could be the object of admiration. It made him wonder often about the bastard who had turned her into this — from the rare slips his mother and Suzuki-sensei made, he had gathered that she had had a relationship with someone (whom he suspected was Irie Naoki) in her university days in Tonan and that it had ended very badly — probably with the marriage of the said Irie Naoki to the beautiful Oizumi Sahoko?

And unbidden, Keita suddenly wondered what he would have to do to get her to see him as anything other than a friendly colleague. Kotoko's bewildered reaction baffled the young man as he found his own actions towards her uncharacteristic and confused him as well.

He told himself that he was only interested in her as a friend, and that he was only obliging his mother who had asked him to look out for her. He passed off Suzuki-sensei's suggestions that he ask Kotoko out as a joke and frequently told his mother to stop matchmaking when she inevitably mentioned Kotoko during their telephone calls. Certainly, he had entered the Special Education Program with the sole and primary objective to become the best pediatric nurse in Japan — certainly not to get involved in romantic entanglements. Although, he wondered why he felt so protective of the girl — and sometimes imagined what it would be like if he DID take his mother's broad hints to heart and asked her out on a date.

So once more (not realising how often he had repeated this to himself over the past weeks), Kamagori Keita give himself a mental shake and reverted to his usual taciturn self.

"So I suppose I will see you later. You need to update those applicant student files with their corresponding medical files." He told Kotoko as they arrived at the office, making an effort to sound stern. "I noticed you also missed out on putting the parental consent forms in there."

"Gomen Kamogari-San" Kotoko apologized, a bit confused at the sudden mood change "I had planned on doing that this afternoon before submitting the files to Suzuki-sensei, I didn't realize you had checked the files already."

"Ah…well…it's not due until tomorrow morning — I just want to make sure you get it right. We have to make sure this program is a success so we need to select only the most deserving applicants. No slip ups Aihara-san." Keita responded. "I need to go back to the pediatrics ward. I'm on night shift today. Ja ne." He then left abruptly, leaving a puzzled Kotoko behind, wondering what had happened between the easy camaraderie they had enjoyed over their pleasant lunch and his sudden seemingly annoyed departure.

Putting the young man out of mind, Kotoko entered the office and went to prepare for her first class for the afternoon – she currently only had a small class of five children and because the class was so small, she had immediately bonded with her young students.

An excited chorus of "Kotonee-chan!" Greeted the young woman as she entered the classroom attached to the office where her young charges were already gathered. Her very first student Miki-chan, a precocious 6 year old had been the first to call her "Kotonee", a shortened combination of her name Kotoko and "Onee-san" (older sister) and the rest had followed suit. On the days he met her class, Kamogari Keita had tried to insist that the children address Kotoko as "Aihara Sensei" but was met with blank stares by the little kids who could not imagine the pretty Kotoko who seemed more a playmate as someone who was a stern "sensei". Eventually, the entire staff, all the children and even Kamogari had eventually gotten to calling her Kotonee-chan. Kotoko did not mind – for she loved her young students and felt that the fact they had given he a nickname was just evidence that they loved her too.

A few enthusiastic hugs later, Kotoko and her students settled down for the class and the young teacher happily immersed herself in a world that she loved.

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Meanwhile, Kamogari had reached the Pediatric ward and was at the nurse station checking on the roster of patients he had for the day.

"You're late Kamogari-san!" Motoki Kikyou teased the serious young nurse. "My lord! It's only 5 minutes before your shift starts — you are usually here bright eyed and bushy tailed at least half an hour before. Are you sick?" Motoki moved menacingly towards Kamogari with a thermometer pretending to attempt to take his temperature.

Kamogari just glared at his friend and former classmate from nursing school. The two of them plus Shinagawa Marina and Ogura Tomoko had been quite a famous group in nursing school. A lot of this was due to the flamboyant Motoki Kikyou who was a transgender beauty who outshone many of the actual female nursing students and Kamogari Keita who had always been at the top of their nursing class, was one of the rare male nurses and easy on the eyes as well. But there was also Shinagawa Marina, a beauty herself, though no one dared approach her due to her very candid declarations that she was only interested in dating rich, good looking doctors. And last but not least was the dainty Oguro Tomoko of the angelic face and the incongruously bloodthirsty enthusiasm for dissection and surgery.

"I suppose you came from the SPED office just now?" Shinagawa Marina teased the young man. "You never join us for lunch anymore — what's up with that?"

"I think our young Keita-San has a lady love over there…."" Motoki continued, raising a perfectly plucked brow at Kamogari.

"Really?" Shinagawa squealed. "So what is she like Kamogari-San, did your eyes meet over a patient chart and you were immediately smitten? She must be a paragon of virtue if she managed to catch the elusive Kamogari Keita….half the nursing staff will be heartbroken…so who is it?"

Motoki and Shinagawa exchanged glances as Keita's face took on a noticeable flush and a deepening scowl.

"Will you both shut up? Unlike the both of you, I am here to work, not to find romance." Keita muttered irritably.

"Really? So the divine blush on your face…is that not brought on by a certain Kotonee-chan that I heard about through the grapevine? Marina-San and I must really drop by the SPED one of these days to see her…I'm quite upset about this…ever since the rumour started that you're now going out, a lot of your fans have moved over to the Irie Naoki fan club which makes more competition for me." Motoki complained.

"Kikyou-San, you do realize that you're still biologically male right?" Keita retorted, "I don't think you were ever in the running for Irie-sensei.."

"Hmmmpph…" Motoki grimaced "Love knows no boundaries…"

"So — don't change the subject Kamogari — when do we meet this Kotonee-chan of yours?" Shinagawa persisted.

"For your information, her name is Kotoko, NOT Kotonee—chan. She is NOT my Kotonee-chan and we are NOT going out. " Keita muttered. "And aren't you supposed to be getting ready for duty right now?" giving his erstwhile friends the eagle eye, he nodded his head in the direction of the small group of pediatric residents fast approaching the station where they had all been hanging out.

Immediately, noting who the third member of the approaching group was, Shinagawa and Motoki immediately straightened up and put on their most pleasant expressions.

"So what is this about the famous Kotonee-chan we've all been hearing about Kamogari-san?" Dr. Nishigaki, a 2nd year resident with quite the reputation as a lady killer, asked Keita, eyeing him mischievously. He and his group had arrived just in time to hear the tail end of the conversation between the nurses.

"Wait — Is this the young teacher who's just started with the Special Education department? " Hanazona, another of the young pediatric residents asked, exchanging a grin with Nishigaki. "I heard from the interns that she's very sweet — and quite cute. I suddenly feel like I've developed a special interest in child psychology now."

"It's very fortunate then that I have a sweet tooth Hanazona-San, so I may join you." Nishigaki grinned at the group. "If Kamogari-San says there's nothing going on between them…." He left the conclusion hanging but his roguish smile left no doubt amongst the group of his intentions. Many a susceptible female in the hospital had fallen for the same smile and it boded no good for his next victim.

"Yamakura-sensei was just talking about the collaboration with the Psychology department on the SPED, maybe I should volunteer…" Hanazona said.

"That won't be…" Kamogari blurted out — at the same time as the third doctor, Irie Naoki spoke.

"…necessary." Irie, despite his suddenly palpitating heart, gave Kamogari a steely look while in response, Kamogari seemed to be angrily scowling at the young doctor.

Irie Naoki had also caught the conversation and the name "Kotoko" had reverberated through him like a loud brass bell. He wondered…no hoped..that it was her, no matter how far fetched it seemed. Could it be her? He strove to still his suddenly erratic heartbeat and act normal.

Motoki and Shinagawa exchanged curious glances at the reactions from the usually surly Kamogari and the cold, usually indifferent Irie — both of whom seemed to be currently sizing each other up like two dogs about to fight over a bone.

"Actually.." Naoki said, his voice as calm as ever, making the rest of the group wonder if they had all imagined what seemed to have been an emotional reaction from him just a few seconds back "Yamakura-sensei has appointed me the Pediatric liaison to SPED so volunteers will no longer be necessary."

Kamogari inwardly cringed as this pronouncement had blindsided him and also, thrown a massive spanner in the works — he would need to work much harder to make sure Kotoko was kept away from this man. He noticed the angry look Irie Naoki directed at him although Irie masked it in a split second, and realized the young doctor had heard his friends teasing him about Kotoko.

"It won't be necessary for you to go to the SPED office either Irie-sensei." Kamogari addressed the young doctor, "I'm sure Suzuki-sensei has advised you that I will the SPED liaison? We can easily conduct our business here at the hospital to spare you having to make a trip to the SPED office."

Kamogari gave an extremely polite (and completely insincere smile) at the young doctor, who responded equally politely (and just as insincerely)

"I believe it would be a good idea for me to see the facilities myself Kamogari-san so please expect a visit from me soon."

"Good idea Irie-San — and as your Sempai, I believe I'll join you in case you need a back up." Nishigaki interjected — his curiousity battling with his amusement at how the normally stone cold Irie and the famously unflappable Kamogari were acting like 5 year olds about to fight over a toy.

"That won't be necessary!" Both Kamogari and Irie turned to glare at the handsome 2nd year resident.

Nishigaki just grinned unrepentantly.

Naoki Irie's suspicions were confirmed — the woman Kamogari Keita was so obviously trying to protect was Aihara Kotoko and it seemed that he had a rival for her — there could be no other logical explanation for the male nurse's behaviour.

As for Kamogari Keita, his own suspicions were magnified. Irie Naoki was obviously interested in Kotoko for some reason — and the cad, who from his initial investigations was married to the cold Oizumi Sahoko, certainly had no business asking about Kotoko. Added to Kotoko's reaction to hearing Irie's name from Oizumi Sahoko, Keita was all the more convinced that there was long story behind this and that Irie Naoki was the villain. But regardless of the backstory — he was certain of one thing, he wold make sure Kotoko wasn't hurt more than she already seemed to be. Strangely though, the usually self-aware and perceptive young man didn't examine his own reasons for WHY he was so concerned. It just felt to him that it was the right thing to do.

Meanwhile, the senior nurse on duty, Tsumugi Kaori decided the SHE for one, didn't appreciate all this fan-boy behaviour towards this unknown Kotonee or Kotoko or whoever she was. She and her friends would certainly need to investigate this and make sure that the little chit knew her place in the pecking order of the world.

"Gentlemen, shouldn't you start your rounds now?" Tsumugi reminded the group, glaring sharply at the 1st year nurses for no reason other than that she was in a bad mood.

"Ahh..thank you Kaori-San, you are an angel of efficiency as always." Nishigaki said, taking the patient list from her and giving her a flirtatious wink which pacified the annoyed Tsumugi Kaori.

As the most senior of the residents, he then distributed the case list to the other two doctors and directed them to go on their way, selecting Tsumugi and Ogura to accompany him and assigning Motoki and Shinagawa to see to Hanazona's patients. This left Irie Naoki with no choice but to partner with the reluctant Kamogari whose scowling face made it clear he was no happy with the assignment either. Nonetheless, Irie Naoki realized that it was a fortuitous accident for Keita to accompany him this day given both their connections to the SPED program.

The mismatched pair were silent for most of the rounds, working quietly and efficiently with the minimum of interaction — though inwardly, both were unpleasantly surprised that they had to concede that the other earned their professional respect. Kamogari and Irie had both been expecting (or hoping) that the other was a mere pretty face and were both silently disappointed when the other proved efficient, professional and quite skilled. By this time, they had reached Nobuhiro's room, the last patient on Irie's list.

"Konnichiwa Nobuhiro-kun. How are you feeling today?" Naoki greeted the boy as he entered the room followed by Keita.

"Konnichiwa Irie-sensei." Nobuhiro responded. He had been getting better everyday and was going stir crazy confined to his room. "Are you guys here to let me out of this place yet?"

A quirky smile found its way to Keita's face as Naoki looked into Nobuhiro's pupils as he continued his physical examination.

"Unfortunately not yet Nobu-kun but I do have some good news for you." Naoki replied. "This is Kamogari Keita — have you met him before?"

"Konnichiwa Kamogari-San" Nobuhiro said politely bowing as well as he could to the young nurse.

"Kamogari-San also works for our Special Education Programme and I've been asked by Yamakura-sensei to identify patients who could join the class, would you be interested?" Naoki asked the boy whose face suddenly became animated and excited.

"Really sensei?!"

"Yes, really. I can't let you out of here yet but your parents and Dr. Yamakura have agreed that you're strong enough to join the classes for a few hours a day." Naoki explained. "Kamogari-san is connected to the SPED programme and will pick you up on Monday afternoon to take you to your first class. You'l have a couple of days to prepare."

Then nodding to his companion, "Kamogari-San, I trust your office will take care of the paperwork and getting in touch with Nobuhiro-kun's former school to find out the details of his curriculum?"

"Yes Irie-sensei, I'll do that Thursday morning as I am on duty here for the rest of the night and until mid-afternoon tomorrow." Keita replied.

Irie Naoki, with his eidetic memory, filed away that bit of useful information in his brain, along with his impressions of how Kamogari seemed overly protective of Kotoko, as well as the fact that he seemed to be staking claim over her. In some ways, Kamogari reminded him of Kinnosuke and his territorial behaviour over Kotoko in the past, though in those days, Naoki didn't understand why such behaviour annoyed him so much.

But this time, Irie Naoki understood himself better — it was quite simply and inexorably jealousy. And he promised himself that this time, he would act on his feelings.

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Author's Note : Sorry for the super long chapter and thank you for the awesome reviews! I did not realize when I started this what a long journey it would become. But to do justice to the Kotoko and Naoki in my brain, I needed to show how they developed and evolved over the years and what motivations they had. Kamogari was never intended to be a major character but he seems to have tapped into my Second Lead Syndrome fascination. More than Kinnosuke, in the anime and the TV adaptation, I found Keita a more sympathetic character as well as a stronger contender for Kotoko's affection than Kinnosuke who was very clearly outclassed by Naoki.

To may reviewers – please send me your feedback I not only enjoy the reading reviews but they also encourage me to keep writing. My apologies if this is a slow burn — but if you read any of my other stories, I really don't find an immediate jump to canon happy ever after interesting.

Love, Daphne


	9. Chapter9BudsandTwigs

Chapter 9

Buds and Twigs

AUTHOR'S NOTE : I think this is the chapter a lot of you have been waiting for – so finally, the plot, as they say, thickens! Someone asked me in a review how Naoki knew that Kotoko/Kotonee-chan was actually Kotoko – and the answer was, if you read the chapter closely, he did not. However, Naoki did have his suspicions and these were strengthened by Keita's territorial behavior. And Naoki, in true form, is an alpha male who hates being challenged by the presence of another alpha male – which led to him being passive-aggressive with Keita. Nonetheless, the previous chapter was only laying the basis for this one which I hope will explain everything. I generally don't like to spell things out in black and white (where is the creativity in that) and let my readers be able to draw their conclusions for themselves. So fair warning, this story is never ever going to read like a just-add-water recipe for happily-ever-after – anyone who has read any of my other stories would know this about my writing. I have so much more torture and humble pie for Naoki to eat before he gets to happily-ever-after (rubs hands and cackles evilly). Special greetings to my INK Muse DisplacedTexan whose wonderful stories inspired to try and write for this fandom.

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"Konbanwa Hinagawa-san." Naoki politely greeted the elderly lady. Hinagawa-san was only a clerk at the Human Resources staff at the Tonan University Hospital Office but she was an institution, having worked there the longest and being the one who knew everyone and everything there was to know at the hospital. She was famous also for being one of the crankiest, sternest and strictest people in the administrative department. Luckily for Irie Naoki, he seemed to have passed her strict standards (though no one knew exactly what these were) and he had never been at the end of her blistering scoldings.

"Perfect! Just the person I needed to see. Konbanwa Irie-sensei." Mrs. Hinagawa said, rummaging through her drawer for something. "Did you come in for your new badge access to the SPED facilities? Take this one and turn over the old badge – this one has your expanded access." she said, pulling out a plastic badge and handing it over to the young doctor. "Will that be all?"

"Arigato Hinagawa-san." Naoki replied, bowing politely as he handed over his old badge to be replaced. Then right before he turned to leave, Irie Naoki's 200 IQ brain was suddenly struck by the realization that if there was anyone who could confirm the information he so desperately wanted, but without calling undue attention to his actions, it would be Hinagawa-san.

"Actually, I needed to ask you to provide me with the organizational chart for the SPED program." Naoki explained, trying to look as innocent and businesslike as possible. His suspicions had been roused by Kamogari Keita's strange reluctance to let him visit the SPED offices earlier that afternoon and how defensive the male nurse had been over the new SPED teacher whom he suspected was Aihara Kotoko.

"Well, I didn't get any express instructions from Yamakura-sensei to provide you that information…" the lady hesitated, casting a gimlet eye at Naoki. She usually hated the arrogant young doctors who came in demanding information about co-employees (usually the telephone numbers of the current object of idol-worship – such as, well Irie Naoki himself) as if she were a dating service and in fact, she had had to field at least two pediatrics residents already asking about the new employee in the SPED.

"I can have him clear it for you – but I really just wanted to know who I would be working with. As you know, Yamakura-sensei appointed me the Pediatric consultant for the SPED programme. I am sending over my first patient early next week and just wanted to learn as much about the program as possible." Naoki replied earnestly.

(This was certainly true, he justified to himself. And if it just so happened that the information he requested happened to have the particular information he needed….well then, he had a perfectly good reason to ask for it did he not?)

"I don't need personal information like addresses or telephone numbers." Naoki explained hastily, though he kept his fingers crossed that she would provide it anyway "But I do wish to know who I will be working with and what their backgrounds are."

Mrs. Hinagawa looked appraisingly at the young man in fornt of her – to his credit, she told herself, he had never made a frivolous request for information and had always been unfailingly polite and businesslike.

"Well I certainly wouldn't give you that information anyway…and while I can't let you have copies, you're welcome to look at the SPED files here." She offered by way of compromise.

"Arigato gozaimas Hinagawa-san." Naoki said, bowing again and reaching for the folder she handed over to him.

IT REALLY WAS HER.

It had only taken Naoki a scant few minutes with his remarkable memory to read and memorize the contents. But it took a superhuman feat for him to remain composed as he found the information he wanted most to see. Thanking Mrs. Hinagawa, Irie Naoki left the HR Office reeling from the weight of what he had seen – after four years, he now confirmed where she was and a little bit of how she got there.

But what he needed to figure out most — was how to make her stay.

And this, he vowed, he would find out.

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It had been a lovely spring day in Tokyo – and soon the city wold be flooded with tourists and students on spring break all enjoying sakura season. But as she walked to work from her little apartment, it was still early enough that the streets were not so crowded and Kotoko could enjoy the crisp air with the faint scent of the cherry blossoms from the trees which lined the street she walked to the station.

She had had several sleepless nights after the run-in with Sahoko – worrying about running into the woman again and worse, what she would do if she ran into her AND her husband.

She had learned from Kamogari that the Oizumis were a big donor to the hospital in general and the SPED programme in particular so it would not be far fetched to think that running into them would be inevitable.

But as several days had passed with no further sightings, Kotoko had regained her equilibrium and reminded herself once more that she was no longer the lovelorn idiot that she had been. She was a mature, accomplished woman and she owed those people nothing. If she ever had the misfortune to run into them, she would not run away and she would simply remain polite and poised. Having come to this resolve, Kotoko had found some comfort and rested easier.

Last night had been the first night since the incident that she had gotten enough sleep and reaching the office, Kotoko felt the happiness and excitement that she always felt whenever she thought of her job and her "kids".

Today would be a good day.

"Gambatte!" She fist pumped, in her old Kotoko-ish way, much to the amusement of a couple of young men who had had been watching her cross the parking lot towards the building where the SPED office was housed.

"Nishigaki-sempai, I think we just sighted our prey." Hanazona, (1st year paediatric resident and 1st year "disciple" of Nishigaki in the latter's ladykiller ways) told his senior with a satisfied smirk.

"You're right — she is quite kawaii. No wonder Kamogari was so intent in protecting his territory yesterday…" Nishigaki replied, looking speculatively at the lissome form of the unaware Aihara Kotoko as she walked to the SPED wing.

"And Kitazono and some sempais from Obstetrics said she is also very friendly and quite sweet — they beat us to meeting her." Hanazona complained.

"Bah. Those OB guys? They're all so boring they don't stand a chance against us paediatricians. After all, is there anything more attractive to a woman than a manly man with a tender side taking care of cute little children? Not to mention they're all ugly…" Nishigaki dismissed the competition.

"You may have some competition from Irie-san, sempai..." Hanazona warned, remembering the tense interaction between Irie and Kamogari the day before.

"Stone Cold Irie? That stick-in-mud?" Nishigaki scoffed. "He's never been interested in any of the women throwing themselves at him so I don't think he's gonna start now."

"I don't know…" Hanazona said contemplatively, Stone Cold Irie wasn't acting very stone cold the day before. In fact, if the young doctor were a betting man, he would have wagered good money that both the taciturn Kamogari and the ice cold Doctor Irie appeared to have been fighting over access to the the intriguing Kotonee-chan. "He was acting strangely aggressive with that male nurse yesterday…"

"Bah…you never know with that guy — maybe Kamogari just annoyed him or something, you know how he is…anyway, we're waiting our time my young padawan — the luscious Kotonee awaits…" Nishigaki said leading the way.

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"Kamogari-kun, is that you?" Kotoko called out gaily when she heard the outer door open as she was sorting out the materials she planned to use for the day's class. "Why are you here? Aren't you on duty until this afternoon? It's been such a weird morning… these residents from paediatrics just left —they visited the office but I can't really understand why…Nigashiki..Nishgani…I can't remember the name but is that familiar to you?"

The young man at the door heard very clearly and his lips tightened. It seemed he had more to worry about than just one potential rival. But he could deal with that. And of course, today's visit was no accident, the young man having taken a mental note of his biggest rival's casual mention of his schedule the day before. It seemed he had underestimated Nishigaki's persistence however, for the latter seemed to have also noted when Kamogari would NOT be at the SPED office and taken advantage of the fact.

Hearing no reply, Kotoko straightened up and turned as she hear the the sliding door leading from the reception area open. Luckily, she had a tight grip on the files she held, for otherwise they might have slipped to the floor in a comedic manner very typical of the old-Kotoko. Instead, she calmly placed the folders on the desk behind her, buying time to calm her rapidly accelerating heartbeat before turning to greet her unexpected guest.

_(For a second, Aihara Kotoko was 18 again — with all the uncertainty, nervousness and some indefinable excitement same as that the day that she had mustered up her courage to confess to the boy — the man – no standing before her, now in a white coat instead of his Tonan High School Uniform, with a gentle look on his face so different from the cold and indifferent countenance he had turned her way that spring day, long, long ago telling her he had no interest in the love letter she had so painstakingly written.)_

"Ohayo Kotoko-San." He said simply, though he did not smile.

_(For a second, Irie Naoki was 20 years old again, standing at the foot of the stairs in his house — unconsciously trying to memorise this girl's face as she wished him well on his wedding — and wondering how the hell his life had gone so wrong so fast and how he had survived for so long without seeing the girl before hm.)_

"Ir…Irie-kun?" She finally stammered in reply, unsure if she had just conjured him up from her unbridled imagination or was a hallucination.

_(But the longer she looked, the more the details came into focus – he was older now, and his hair was shorter than she remembered. But it was his eyes that had changed the most — because where she remembered only a cold glare or a stormy anger, there was now..something that almost seemed like gentleness. ) _

Shaking her head to clear them of these unwanted fantasies, she closed her eyes.

"It won't help to keep your eyes closed, Kotoko-san. No matter how long you keep your eyes shut, when you open them again, I will still be here." Naoki said, and the teasing tone in his voice convinced her he was REALLY here. Though the young woman failed to notice that the teasing was more gentle now, rather than acerbic as it had been before.

_(He drank her in – like someone who had been wondering in the desert and had not realized how desperately parched he was until he found water. She looked grown up, more polished and fashionable, and so different — but still in all the ways it counted, still HIS Kotoko. And he wondered if he embraced her, would she feel the same in his arms? And he found herself staring at her lips, wondering if her lips would still be as soft as they were on those two precious times that he had kissed her.)_

"What…I mean...Ohayo Irie-kun. What brings you here?" Kotoko finally managed to ask, congratulating herself that her voice was steady (though she felt like her heart's pounding was echoing through the room).

"Would you believe it if I said you?" Naoki asked jokingly.

And Kotoko looked at him askance, wondering what sort of alien creatures had abducted him. He looked like the old Irie Naoki she knew, and sounded like him — but this gentle eyed, smiling person was not someone familiar to her.

Unconsciously, Naoki reached out — about to tuck a strand of hair that had fallen out of Kotoko's neat bun behind her ear — but as his hand grew closer, he saw her flinch away, like a child anticipating a blow. And with the clenching of his heart, Naoki realized what he had been about to do and hastily pulled back his hand.

(_He wanted so much to touch her — even if it were just to feel the silkiness of her hair against his fingers for a few seconds. But she was right to be afraid of him, to hate him even — to remember him as the callous monster that he had been.)_

"Ah…what I meant was — I came to see you about your program. Yamakura-sensei has appointed me as the liaison and pediatric consultant for SPED. I'll be making the referrals from the pediatric patients to SPED. Your colleague Kamogari-san will be bringing the first student on Monday. His name is Nobunaga Nobuhiro and he's 12. Please take care of him." Naoki said instead, schooling his voice and features into its usual impassive lines, though unknown to him, his eyes remained soft and this caused the young woman's heart to continue its erratic drumming.

(_His face was leaner she thought, and he looked tired. Both then she realized, she had unconsciously been expecting, if she were ever to see him again, to see the Naoki of four years ago. But he was still as handsome as before — and she wondered if she had ever seen him look the way he was looking at her now. And despite his words, she wondered if she was imagining him here or that look on his face.) _

"Of course, Irie-kun." Kotoko replied automatically, striving to process all the information suddenly thrown at her in the midst of her confusion and shock. "Yamakura-sensei? Are you..working with him, through the Oizumi Foundation?" Kotoko inquired, unconsciously straightening her spine and preparing for a blow, fingers crossed that this was a random visit and that she would not have to deal with him OR his wife extensively.

"Well…yes. Did you not know I work here? I'm doing my specialisation in Pediatrics." Naoki asked, though he regretted it the second the sentence left his mouth.

(_He was an arrogant fool to assume that she had kept up with his life…or that she cared, he mentally kicked himself)_

"Gomen nasai Irie-san, I am so happ...uh congratulations...my father never mentioned you went to medical school." Kotoko replied, forcing herself to keep her rampaging emotions in check and striving to be businesslike.

"I suppose it's the same for both of us — I didn't know you were working here until yesterday either." He said. "So a teacher huh?"

"Yes." Kotoko responded (and waited for him to make fun of her) her chin lifting a little and her back stiffening (for she would NOT let him make fun of her again). "I suppose you're wondering what a baka like me is doing teaching children?" She asked sardonically.

"No…and though it's years late…I am very sorry for all the times I said that in the past. Gomen nasai Kotoko-san" Naoki said, and to her shock, he bowed very low before her.

Nonplussed by his sudden apology, Kotoko froze and after a long awkward silence, he rose.

"No need to apologise Irie-ku…I suppose I should call you Irie-sensei now that you are a doctor…" Kotoko said, turning away to arrange (unnecessarily) the stack of files on the desk behind her. "I remember exactly what a nuisance I was back then and how stupid you thought I was."

Naoki flushed in remorse and embarrassment, remembering how cold and mean he had been all those years ago.

"I was an insufferable jerk back then Kotoko-san, but if you have changed over the years, so have I." The young man said quietly, though sincerity rang in his voice. "And though you may not need or want my apology — I wished to make it anyway for it is long overdue."

_(And to himself, Naoki finally admitted that all those years ago, he had called her names and teased her because he wanted her attention — just like a toddler pulling on the hair of the girl he liked in the playground — that the name calling and teasing were usually after he had become jealous of someone else or felt that the spotlight of her focus was drifting away from him. And also because genius that he was, he nonetheless failed to realize that the teasing and name calling were a defence mechanism against the unwelcome, uncomfortable and unfamiliar feelings she evoked in him, for in his "genius" youth, love and jealously were both unknown and certainly unwanted emotions. _

And though struck by the realisation, he knew this was not the time to tell her.)

"It is ver good to see you again Kotoko and at least I can tell Okasan what happened to you…she…we…all wondered where you were and what you were doing and how you were..." he rambled on, in an desperate attempt to break the silence and also because he dared not say that it had been HE who had wondered most, and worried and hoped.

"I was…after we left I went to Kyo-dai." Kotoko "I got my degree there…I couldn't tell Obasama because…I mean I asked my Outosan not to tell anyone because….well, I just needed to be away. So really, apologies are due from me as well. Please tell Obasama that I will come to pay my respects very soon — I just needed to settle down with moving back and the new job…"

She said simply and he nodded in understanding. "Don't worry about it Kotoko-san, she — we – all understood your reasons. But I know she will be very happy to see you at home again — we would be."

"But I'm not surprised actually — that you would become a teacher that is —you always had a special way of connecting with children." He continued, his voice going quieter.

"Except for Yuki of course…" Kotoko said dryly.

"Except for Yuki." He agreed with a quick laugh. "But then he was born an old man so he doesn't count."

The uncomfortable tension finally broken, the two exchanged a comradely smile. And for a second, Kotoko forgot that he had broken her heart.

"So Kyo-dai huh?" Naoki said, very impressed. Kyoto University was well known to be one of the most respected educational institutions in Japan, a close second, if not at par with, Tokyo University. "Okasan will be kicking herself in frustration — I don't think she ever considered looking in the Kansai area, she thought it was too close to Tokyo. She was so sure you were in Hokkaido or somewhere even farther away than that."

"Actually, I didn't have a plan about where to go when we left your house…Kyo-dai was a very big surprise for me too." Kotoko explained, with a slight tilt of her chin. She was proud to have graduated from Kyo-dai, proud of what she had accomplished.

"And teaching? How did that come about?" Naoki asked, genuinely interested how the sad little girl he had last seen four years ago had evolved into this accomplished, quietly poised young woman.

"Suzuki-sensei was my guidance counsellor — she ran a program to identify and mitigate adult-diagnosed dyslexia. I was in her pilot program" Kotoko expounded "— and while I was there, I discovered that what I wanted most to do was to find people who were like me when they were still young and help them so that they would never have to go through what I did."

For the first time since he had come into the room, Kotoko was looking at him in the eye and he was captured by the sparkle he saw there. Her face shone and she was so much like the animated girl he had known that Naoki felt his heart accelerating.

"But I'm sorry to bore you with my life story Irie-sensei. I am sure you must be very busy." Kotoko said.

"You're not boring me at all Kotoko." Naoki replied. "In fact, one of these days I would really like to sit down with you and hear about your four years in Kyoto — and I am very proud of how far you've come…though I had nothing to do with it."

Kotoko smiled a bit ruefully, and she could not the pain of the remembered past reflected in her eyes "Not at all Irie-sensei, in fact you had everything to do with it. If not for…well…if not for your marriage to Oizumi-san, I would have stayed the way I was…just your shadow, with no aspirations of my own. I think that the decision you made then, was also the best decision for me."

Again, the fist that seemed to have taken control over his heart chose to tighten it's grip again and Naoki felt it difficult to breathe.

"The marriage….it was…" Naoki began, wanting to explain that it was NOT the best decision he had ever made.

_(That he regretted being so slow and so lacking self-awareness, that he had been young and full of hubris…anointing himself as the sole saviour and sacrificial lamb for Pandai when in fact it wasn't needed. _

_And he wanted to tell her that ultimately it was she, through Sakurai and the outcast otaku young men who she had so kindly befriended in college that had actually saved his family's fortunes and not him.)_

"You don't have to explain Irie-kun…" Kotoko interrupted him. "It's been years — and we are both happy now are we not?"

"But I…." Naoki attempted to begin again, but the young woman shook her head.

"It's all water under the bridge now, isn't it?" She asked, a sad smile on her face. "It and it hardly matters anymore. But I think we are grown up enough now to be friends at least? "

Naoki knew he had to stop at that point, knowing that she didn't want to listen and that forcing the issue would do his cause more harm than good.

"Friends?" He said with a quirk to his mouth.

(_And he thought, we were never ever "just" friends Aihara Kotoko — and we won't ever be just friends. Not if I can help it.)_

"Friends!" she said, holding out her hand.

"Well I shouldn't keep you any longer. But I will be seeing you again soon Kotoko-san." Naoki excused himself — and he took her little hand in his and shook her hand as if they were really just colleagues.

_(Though what he really wished was to pull her close and keep her with him for always — and make her stop calling him "Irie-sensei" for in his dreams, he was simply "Naoki" to her.*)_

She looked at him wide-eyed and somewhat worried, but shook his hand anyway.

Much as there was so much he wanted to stay, he knew that to win this war, he would need to go slowly and be patient. He knew he had hurt her very badly in the past and that she was very cautious around him. But a small part of him dared hope that the tremor in the small hand he had briefly held in his meant that he still affected her in some way. For as he well knew, the opposite of love was not hate but indifference. And if she was not indifferent to him, there was still hope if he patiently wagged his little war to win her.

And Irie Naoki was a very patient man.

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The use of a person of the opposite sex's given name without an honorific implies a high level of intimacy such as between spouses or lovers.


	10. Chapter10

Chapter 10

Growing…growing

"What do you mean you know?" Irie Noriko asked her older son incredulously, "And you didn't tell me?!!!" She continued, her tone going up by at least two octaves and her volume by two decibels. Irie Noriko had received a very welcome surprise in the from of a telephone call that afternoon from her erstwhile-estranged daughter-in-law-to-be (at least in her heart and mind). She had announced this news at the dinner table expecting — well, certainly much more — than a brief "I know" as reaction from her oldest son at whom she was currently shooting dagger looks.

"Please calm down Okasan, I only found out for sure today." Naoki replied, feigning an indifference he didn't feel, any trace of agitation exhibited only by the slight tremor in the hand that trembled slightly as it held his coffee cup. This did not however, escape the sharp eyes of Irie Yuki (now all grown up at 17) who glanced curiously at his brother.

"Well I hope you at least had the common sense to invite her to the house?" Mrs. Irie said sharply. "She mentioned she was moving to Tokyo in her last letter….but that girl! She didn't tell me it would so soon! And she was very evasive when I tried to invite her to come over when we spoke this afternoon…."

"Well don't be too upset with her Okasan…" Yuki tried to pacify his mother. "I'm sure that Onee-chan had her reasons…I mean after all…when she left…it…was…uh…that is…" Yuki turned red and immediately wished it were biologically possible to kick one's self.

"Because your Onii-san was being a baka and broke her heart that's why…" Irie Noriko glared at her older son again, causing the latter to groan and regret he had even come home for dinner.

"Okasan, it's been years…I'm sure Kotoko has gotten over it." He tried to calm her down. "She was very…pleasant…when I saw her at work today."

"Work?" Noriko almost screeched "What do you mean work?"

"Aihara-san is the new Special Education Teacher at the SPED program at Tonan University Hospital." Naoki explained, calmly (at least outwardly) sipping his coffee.

"My dear, dear Kotoko-chan is a teacher now?" Noriko sighed happily, getting misty eyed for a moment until her gaze turned steely once more and she turned to her son. "Yah! And you Irie Naoki, what are you doing about it?"

"What do you mean what am I doing about it Okasan?"

"I mean what are you doing to make sure this opportunity to finally win Kotoko-chan's hand doesn't slip away again?" Noriko questioned mercilessly.

Meanwhile, Yuki simply observed the volley of exchanges between his mother and Naoki – deciding it would not be the best time to reveal that he and Kotoko had regularly been exchanging emails and that (at her request) he never mentioned that he knew what she had been up to and where (again at her request) the past four years. She had never exactly told him what she was doing or exactly where but Yuki was not an Irie for nothing — and over the past four years had deduced that she was in the Kansai area. This had further been reinforced by Aihara Ojisan's occasional slip of the tongue on the infrequent times over the years that he had occasionally gotten drunk with Yuki's dad and Yuki (jut conveniently) happened to be nearby. He had also deduced — because she had never mentioned anyone – that while she occasionally dated, that Kotoko was not romantically involved.

"Okasan, why must you assume that Kotoko is interested in me?" Naoki argued (though both Noriko and Yuki noticed that he did not make any comments or denials about whether HE was interested in HER). "For all we know, maybe she is already seeing someone else'"

"Someone else?!!" Noriko almost screeched

"She's grown up to be quite lovely Okasan and in fact, she has quite the harem of fanboys in the Paediatric department…and not to mention Kamogari Keita who works with her…" Naoki said, attempting to rein in his mother — and also to bring himself back to reality, for he could not get her out of his mind in the last few hours since he had seen her.

"Whaaaat? And you have just been sitting around letting them sniff around my Kotoko-chan?!" Noriko said outraged.

Seeing that his mother was about to launch into one of her long winded lectures to Naoki, Yuki decided that in this case, discretion was NOT necessarily the greater part of valour.

"Chill Okasan… Onee-san definitely does NOT have a boyfriend." Yuki announced calmly, digging into his dessert as if he had not just dropped a bomb at the family dinner table.

Two pairs of eyes turned, narrowed speculatively towards the teenager, who just looked back at them with a blank looked and with a nonchalant shrug, unconcernedly continued eating his cake.

"And you would know this…why?" Noriko asked arching her eyebrow at her younger son who was acting as it consuming his dessert was the current, single most imPortant thing in the world at the moment.

"Well, Onee-chan and I have been emailing each other pretty regularly. She hasn't mentioned seeing anyone in any of her mails." Yuki said matter-of-factly.

"And you never saw fit to mention this little fact to me?" Noriko exclaimed, her tone escalating once more.

"Okaasan, there was nothing in those letters that you needed to know — and she wrote you too didn't she? It's not my fault you refuse to use email, I just got more letters because it was faster that way." Yuki explained, seeing his mother about to blow the proverbial gasket.

Meanwhile, Naoki remained silent and looked at his brother speculatively, his keen ears not missing the fact that Yuki consistently referred to Kotoko as "Onee-chan" now. And remembering that night his brother had given him Kotoko's letter and how thinking about it, that night seemed to have marked the beginning o Yuki's growing up.

"I just wish there was some way that we could bring Kotoko-chan back into the family fold again…." Noriko sighed wistfully, unable to muster up any more reproaches to Yuki's calm logic.

"If it's meant to be, it will happen Okaasan." Naoki said in such a lackadaisical fashion that Irie Noriko simply threw up her hands in despair and walked out — muttering about the coldness, ineptness and stupidity of her much beleaguered elder son.

Meanwhile, the two bothers remained silent at the table until the resounding sound of Noriko's bedroom door slamming echoed all the way from the 2nd floor.

"So, Onii-chan…" Yuki said finally, "Is it meant to be?"

"I hope so Yuki, I plan to make it so this time." Naoki replied.

Yuki grinned — "But perhaps we should make sure Okaasan knows as little as possible ne?"

Naoki smiled back, and it was the first real smile he had seen on his brother's face time in a long, long time, Irie Yuki thought.

———————————————————————————————————

Kotoko balanced the tray carefully as she walked to a table next to the window. It was past one pm so the cafeteria was sparsely filled, a big reason why Kotoko usually chose this time of the day to take her break. Typically Kamogari Keita also joined her for lunch, as was the case this day.

Kotoko still felt unsettled after Naoki's unexpected visit. Over the years, one of the biggest changes in Kotoko had been her new reticence to speak about her concerns — for long gone was the girl who wore her heart on her sleeve and her heartbreak on her face. So she had not told anyone, not even Jinko or Satomi of her meeting with Naoki — at least, she told herself — not until she had processed it herself. She had been all at once, bewildered, bothered and vindicated by Naoki's apology. And since that day, she had tried to keep the small niggling hope at bay, after all Irie Naoki was a married man now and there was no place for childish dreams of a happily ever after, she scolded herself whenever her wayward thoughts even began to head in that direction. Still, a wistful smile came to her face — at least they had parted as friends. Something that she could have never even dreamed of in the past.

"Is something bothering you Aihara-San?" Kamogari asked, casting a puzzled sideways glance at Kotoko. He had come to pick her up from the SPED office for lunch and had quickly noticed that she was not her usual bubbly self, though she smiled and responded politely as always. "Are the little ones wearing you out?"

The first class of the day was composed of grades 1 to 3 and while Kotoko had quickly come to love each of her students, Kamogari was well aware how drained of energy she could get after each class.

Kotoko smiled wryly, not quite knowing what to say — part of her wanted to tell Keita the whole pathetic story of Irie Naoki and Aihara Kotoko but then, she had worked so hard to leave the bumbling, foolish girl she was behind and she did not want to waken sleeping memories of her one-sided love. "I'm fine — the class is great but they are all such bundles of energy, especially today — so just a bit tired.."

Taking her tray easily from her with his free hand, Keita placed it on the table in front of Kotoko and quickly walked around the table, quite oblivious to his surroundings, and prepared to take the seat across from her.

"I'm afraid this seat is taken." The smugly velvety voice of Irie Naoki seemed to come out of nowhere as the young doctor slid smoothly into the seat in front of Kotoko which Keita had just pulled out - having fully intended to sit there himself.

Taken aback, Kamogari could only glare at the other man and recovering his equilibrium, moved quickly to sit beside Kotoko, casting annoyed looks at Irie Naoki as he sat.

"I don't recall having invited you to lunch Irie-sensei." Kamogari said through gritted teeth. He had worked with Irie Naoki in the past with no issues and he even admired the other man's unquestionable medical skills – but ever since the strangely strained interaction revolving around Kotoko there a few these before, there was something that just annoyed the normally unflappable Kamagori Keita about the young physician now.

"I saw you coming for lunch and I thought it would be a good opportunity to bond with my new work mates." Naoki relied nonchalantly as though he did this kind of thing everyday. On the contrary however, Irie Naoki usually deliberately avoided eating in the hospital criteria as he found he was usually targeted by the young nurses wanting to chat, eat lunch with him or for the less daring ones, to sit close by and gawk at him which made him extremely uncomfortable and generally unable to enjoy his break.

"Konnichiwa Kotoko." Naoki greeted the girl across from him, continuing to act as if sitting with her at lunch was an everyday occurrence.

Kotoko herself seemed to have been struck dumb — and could only glance haplessly from Keita and Naoki who seemed to be having a staring showdown at the lunch table. She was about to interject when a flurry of activity descended upon the awkward trio in the form of Nishigaki and Hanazono who took the rest of the two remaining chairs at the table.

"Just who I was looking for — the lovely Kotonee—chan!" Nishigaki said unrepentantly, ignoring Keita and Naoki who were now suddenly allies, in their joint dislike for the flirty Nishigaki. "May we have the pleasure of your company for lunch today Aihara-San?"

"It doesn't look like she's being given much of a choice is she?" Kamogari muttered annoyedly under his breath.

"And konnichiwa to you too Kamogari-san. Always a bundle of joy aren't you?" Nishigaki smiled impishly at the male nurse. "I was not aware this was a reserved seat – I noticed Irie sitting with you and thought it would be nice for all of us to get to know each other better since we will all be working together ne? And I believe it was the lady I asked, not you." Nishigaki smiled charmingly at Kotoko.

"Of course Nigashiki-sensei…it's fine, we just got here ourselves." Kotoko replied trying to smile and wondering why they all decided to sit at her table when the cafeteria was practically empty except for a table of nurses currently glaring her way from a table near the door of the cafeteria.

"It's Nishigaki actually, Nishigaki Yuichi. But you may call me Yuichi if you want and I shall call you Kotoko."

"I believe it is customary to wait for the other person to offer you the use of their first name before you do that." Naoki's voice cut in the conversation. "I don't believe she did?"

Kamogari had to hold back a laugh. He himself still called her "Aihara-san" despite the fact that he considered them to be friends after the work of several intense weeks had drawn them together. Though he still hated Irie, right now he was pretty sure he hated the smooth talking Nishigaki more.

"Ah – lo and behold he speaks!" Nishigaki responded as Hanazono snickered in the background and Keita just shot dagger looks at Nishigaki.

"Only when I have something worthwhile to say Nishigaki." Naoki answered, casting an equally snarky smile at his colleague.

"It's Nishigaki-sempai to you Irie." The other replied, puffing out his chest proudly. "And I notice you call her Kotoko yourself — what makes you so special?"

Irie Naoki just smiled that infuriating smile which made Nishigaki wish to smack him — the only thing holding him back being that he did not want to upset Aihara Kotoko.

Sensing that she needed to do something seeing as the tension at the table seemed to be escalating, Kotoko had to interrupt.

"I believe I will just call everyone "sensei", it wouldn't be proper otherwise Nishigaki-Sensei, as I do not know any of you that well." The lady in question finally recovered her powers of speech, and honestly, found herself quite annoyed to be at the center of what appeared to be a pissing contest between the various alpha males who seemed to have found their way to disrupting her peaceful lunch.

"And so what shall we call you in return?" Hanazono interjected "Perhaps Koto-nee chan like your cute little students?"

"Seeing as you are not cute, that probably wouldn't work for you Hanazona-sensei." Nishigaki interjected with a laugh, pounding the other young man on the back.

Kotoko grimaced. "Aihara-san is fine sensei…it would be…quite improper to be so informal with you — though you are all very friendly…we are just colleagues at work after all."

"Ah, but that's not quite true is it Kotoko? At leas not all of us." Naoki drawled almost lazily, drawing out the syllables of her name. "After all — we did live together for several years did we not?"

"Uhh…what…Irie-kun!" Kotoko sputtered, suddenly incensed and quite perplexed why he felt he needed to share this information.

"And on that note, I believe I need to get back to the paediatric wing." Naoki said, picking up his tray and the mostly uneaten lunch with one hand and with a cocky little salute to Kotoko, started walking away.

"Hey! Irie! What the hell…" Nishigaki stood up hastily, trying to catch up with the other doctor as a with an apologetic look, Hanazono bid a quick goodbye to Kamogari and Kotoko who were left dumbstruck at the table.

"What was that all about Aihara-San?" Keita asked, wondering what had just happened and turning perplexed eyes to the suddenly quiet young woman next to him — if blushing could kill, he was pretty sure he would have to pronounce her dead right that second.

"It's a long story Kamogari-san." Kotoko stammered, face flushed with embarrassment.

"In that case — if you would like to tell me about it, maybe we could have dinner?" Kamogari said, deciding that biding time was for cowards and with the competition seeming to multiply by the day, it was time for him to make his move.

Kotoko looked up, startled by the sudden invitation. "Dinner?" She parroted, just to make sure she had heard him correctly.

"Yah Aihara-San, dinner you know, the meal you have at night?" Kamogari couldn't resist teasing her — thinking that even with her mouth opening and closing wordlessly like a fish out of water, she looked cute.

"Dinner." Kotoko repeated again, almost to herself. "Like when we have lunch at the office right?"

"No." Kamogari answered quite decisively. He wanted to make sure that Kotoko made no mistake — he certainly did not plan to be friend-zoned. "Dinner like a date. Between a man and a woman, not just because we have lunch break at the same time."

(No time like the present he thought. Better to catch your prey when it was still confused)

Nonplussed, and unable to come up with a plausible excuse, Kotoko could only nod.

"Great, I need to go back to the ward but I'm not on duty tonight. If it's not too short notice — may I pick you up at 6 tonight?"

Again Kotoko nodded — not quite sure what she had gotten herself into this time.

——————————————————————————-

"What rock did that plain little nothing even crawl out from?" Nurse Sakoro complained, casting evil glances in the direction where the some of the best looking men in the Hospital seemed to have congregated around a small girl who looked, more than anything, bewildered by the sudden crowd surrounding her.

"That's Aihara Kotoko — the little bitch works at the SPED." Tsumugi Kaori, still smarting from the snubs she had received from Irie Naoki each time they were on rounds together said spitefully. "I don't get the attraction either but she has Kamogari Keita wrapped around her sticky little fingers — they work together you know — on that special project."

"That explains Kamogari, maybe she grew on him — like a fungus." Sakoro replied, cackling nastily. "But that doesn't explain why the gorgeous Irie-sensei or Nishigaki is over there…".

Sakoro had been actually gone out on a couple of dates with Nishigaki, generally agreed to be best catch among the young doctors at the hospital — at last until the handsome Stone Cold Irie had shown up. There had never been a third date though (Nishigaki having cheerfully informed her on the 2nd date that he never went out with the same girl more than twice) and Sakoro was still pining away for the dashing young paediatrician. And she certainly didn't expect him to have found a new object of interest so soon….and such an ordinary looking one at that.

"I can't explain it either…." Tsumugi replied with a petulant sneer again in Aihara Kotoko's direction. "Nishigaki and Hanazono flirt with anything that moves, but Stone Cold Irie seems to have been captivated as well."

"…too bad that girl isn't in the nursing department…we could have taught her a thing or two about respecting her sempais' territory." Another of the senior nurses said snidely.

"As if she could get into nursing— she doesn't look smart enough." Sakoro snorted in disdain.

"Actually, my sister remembers her from Tonan High — I heard she was pretty stupid, even for Class F! And it was a miracle she was even admitted to college. My sister said she dropped out of Tonan U in ther second year — something about her being retarded or something…" One of the more junior nurses spoke up, eager to curry favor with her sempais and quite excited to share what little information she had gathered.

"Really? How did she get to teach in the SPED program then?" Tsumugi asked, wondering what sort of strings the girl had to pull to get into the program. Even in the pediatric department, Dr. Suzuki was well know for her brilliance as well as her exacting standards.

"Probably has some rich relatives or something…" the younger nurse spoke again, flattered that her sempais seemed to be listening to her for a change. "Or maybe she is a test subject? If she is retired, she qualifies for that at least…"

The nurses all tittered maliciously.

"Well if everyone knew how unqualified she was, especially the parents, wouldn't they have to get rid of her?" Tsumugi said with an evil gleam in her eyes.

"You wish…you know we couldn't do that." Sakoro said sarcastically. "And it's not as if we know anyone with that sort of power…."

"Excuse me ladies.." a cool, cultured voice interrupted the conversation at this point and the five nurses turned in surprise towards the new arrival. "Would you mind terribly if I joined you?"

"Oh..Oizumi-sama, of course, of course…" Tsumugi stammered rising quickly followed by the rest, to make a respectful bow.

"No need to get up ladies, and you may call me Sahoko-San, Oizumi-sama is just too, too formal." Sahoko turned on her full charms and the nurses, all of whom knew of her and admired her from her visits to the hospital, (always impeccably clothed in the height of fashion and looking like an exotic butterfly in a very dreary garden) felt immensely flattered that the society beauty seemed to want to make friends with them.

"So…please carry on ladies— girl talk is always fun isn't it?" Sahoko broke the somewhat dumbfounded silence with her most charming smile.

She did not really know why she was even contemplating what she was planning on doing — after all, she was relatively happy with Junichi-San, and if anything, she was even richer and more beautiful than she was over the years — but it always rankled her that though it was she who broke off the engagement, that in truth, she had been rejected for the ordinary, boring, unspectacular Aihara Kotoko. It had been quite accidental that she had overheard the nurses conversing.

She had been at the hospital a bit earlier, accompanied by a reporter and photographer some society some magazine who wanted to do a feature on her philanthropic activities for Oizumi Foundation and the upcoming fundraising ball for the SPED program. After the interview and photo shoot, she had a few minutes to kill until her driver arrived so had decided to have a quick tea break. It was not the Ritz — but to be truthful, she had partly been hoping to catch Naoki again. Unfortunately, when she did see him it was just in time to catch him sliding into a seat across the Aihara girl. Luckily, her seat was strategically located behind a pillar and she remained unnoticed as her ire escalated by the second, watching the scene unfolding and Aihara seeming to collect a veritable harem of men who seemed all intent in catching her eye.

It was a half an hour or so later when Oizumi Sahoko departed the cafeteria with her new "friends" – armed with all the information she had gathered. Clearly, the Aihara girl, with her abysmal academic record was certainly not a good fit for the SPED program — nor for Irie Naoki.

And while the foolish young nurses were correct that THEY did not have any power to do anything about it, SHE did.

——————————————————————-

Author's Note:

When the nurses address Sahoko as Oizumi "sama" they are using a very respectful honorific which is really intended for much higher-up — someone worthy of respect either because of age or social status and to signify high respect.


	11. Chapter11StorrmsandThunderclouds

Chapter 11

Spring Storms and Thunderclouds

Completely oblivious to the fact that she had been the topic of much gossip, speculation and malice over the brief lunch break, Kotoko had returned to the SPED quite relieved to be left alone. Afternoon classes had distracted her for a while but as soon as the students had left and she was once again alone, except for Dr Suzuki who was closeted in her office. In quiet office, Kotoko's traitorous mind brought her straight back to the bewildering events at lunch time.

She still wasn't sure what the ridiculous men at the table were up and she felt quite uncomfortable with the attention. It was not as if Aihara Kotoko had never the experience of being courted – after all, Kinnosuke had ardently pursued her for the entirety of her high school life and to a point, until she left for Kyoto. And in Kyoto, there had been a few fellow students she had dated. But nonetheless, Kotoko was still a product of her past, and much as she had changed over the years, she had still never quite completely shaken the feeling that she wasn't "enough" nor could she even fathom that she was, in act, quite an attractive young woman. This being so, it had never really occurred to the young woman that she was attractive to the opposite sex.

Then there was the date with Kamogari-San, the girl thought worriedly. Would it not be awkward to date someone she worked with on a daily basis? She liked Keita, but she was not sure if it went beyond friendship. Despite being "grown up", Kotoko had to admit that when she dreamt of love and romance, she still believed that such a love would make her heart pound, and her breath race — and to be honest she had not ever felt that way. Except for Irie Naoki.

Nishigaki and Hanazono she could easily dismiss — for any girl with a sense of self-preservation would be able to easily tell that to those two, she was simply a challenge. Something to pursue because she was the shiny new toy in their orbit.

But she could not understand how Irie Naoki fit into the picture. After all, he was married to Oizumi Sahoko was he not? She tried to rationalize his behavior and failed miserably — for try as she might, she could not adequately explain why he had acted so familiarly or why he had chosen to reveal the fact the she used to live with his family – and to phrase it in such a way as to imply that it was more than what it was!

"Konnichiwa, Aihara-sensei is it not?" A dignified looking elder lady broke into Kotoko's reverie.

"Konnichiwa madam. Yes, I am Aihara Kotoko. And how may I help you?"

"Forgive my manners — I am Nobunaga Fumii. My son Nobuhiro is in your class." The lady introduced herself, bowing to Kotoko.

"Oh! You are Nobu-kun's Okaasan!" Kotoko smiled widely. Nobuhiro had only been in her class for a week, but had shown marked progress. Though he was still surly and unfriendly to the other children who were much younger than him, Kotoko enjoyed having him in her class for despite his mild learning disability and the fact that he had missed so much school due to his illness, Nobu was eager to learn and quick to grasp new methods and concepts. "It is a pleasure to meet you Nobunaga-San. I'm afraid you just missed hm, Nobu-kun was returned to his room a few minutes ago."

"Yes, I saw him at the room. I really came over just to meet you and extend our gratitude for your work with my son." Mrs. Nobunaga said.

Kotoko blushed. "It has only been a week madam, so I am afraid that I have not really made that much progress yet."

"On the contrary my dear.." Mrs Nobunaga countered, patting Kotoko's hand "You are all he talks about and we have not seen him so happy and animated in a long, long time. You know he has been in and out of hospitals for the last few years and lately, we have been very worried…he is our only child you know, and we had him later in life so his father and I fear we don't know what to do for him…but this program of yours has done wonders for his morale — there used to be days when I felt he had no motivation…no reason to get better…so Arigato gozaimas, Aihara-sensei…you have made such a difference in our son."

"I am very honored to hear you say that Nobunaga-San. Please rest assured that I will continue to work closely with Nobu-kun."

The lady bowed once again and with a smile left Kotoko. The little exchange lifted Kotoko's spirits. She smiled to herself — and then noticing the time, almost shrieked out loud. She had exactly an hour to get home, get changed and get ready for this ambush date with Keita.

"Suzuki-sensei? I am leaving for the day. Here are today's progress reports."

"Are you getting sick Kotoko-San? You look very flushed"

"Oh no sensei, just in a hurry…"

"Big date?" Dr. Suzuki teased and by the color which depeened on Kotoko's cheeks even more, Dr. Suzuki realized she had hit the jackpot. "Anyone I know?"

"Ah…well..it's not really…I mean…just going to have dinner with Kamogari-San sensei." Kotoko said embarassedly, almost in a whisper, as she was genetically programmed unable to lie.

Bidding Suzuki-sensei a hurried goodbye, Kotoko fled the office leaving Dr. Suzuki to smile to herself and wonder if it would be a good time to call her friend Dr. Kamogari in Kyoto.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"And so that's how it ended." Kotoko said simply with a little sigh, pausing to take a small sip of wine.

"And you never heard from him after that night?" Keita asked curiously.

"Not really. Although a year ago or so, Kin-chan got drunk one night and spilled the beans that a few months after Otousan and I left the house, Irie-kun went to Fugoyoshi demanding to speak to me and to know where I was. He said Irie-Jun was very upset and Kin-chan wondered if he was drunk or something. He refused to tell me any more that that but later Jinko told me that Kin-chan and Irie-Jun almost got into a fistfight until Otousan arrived just in time and intervened." Kotoko narrated, though she did not want to really think about what that had meant. "But by then…I mean..by the time Kin-chan told me all this, I had recovered my senses and made Otousan and my friends swear not to talk about me to any of the Iries."

"Didn't you want to…didn't you ever think about asking Irie what he wanted that night?" Keita asked curiously.

Kotoko shook her head. "He never came back after that so I never had a chance to. And honestly, I love Obasama like a mother…but…she had such unrealistic dreams that Irie-kun and I….well, let's just say I didn't want her to find me and convince me to come back…because I knew there was nothing there for me. So I basically hid from that whole family for the last four years. And I think I made the right decision ne? If I had, I wouldn't be here now would I?"

"I don't know about that Aihara-San…from the short time we've known each other, you have made an impression on me that you are one of those people who will succeed if they just put their mind to something...so even then, I am sure you would have found your way to this career. You just needed to find out on your own what direction to take." Keita replied.

From Kotoko's narration, he wasn't quite convinced that Irie Naoki had harbored no feelings for the girl — certainly her retelling of his uncharacteristic impassioned demands that Kinnosuke reveal her whereabouts did not sound like the actions of a man who didn't care. But then, Keita thought to himself, wouldn't it be counterproductive to his own case to plead Irie's cause? And so he decided, it would be much better if he kept his thoughts to himself.

"It's nice of you to say that Kamagori-San" Kotoko laughed a little self-deprecatingly "…but I am well aware of my own shortcomings. I know I am no very smart. I am fortunate to have gotten into Suzuki-sensei's special program – otherwise, I would probably still be the baka everyone made fun of."

"He really did a number on you didn't he?" Keita replied, his lips thinned annoyedly. It was hard to fathom how this hardworking, pretty, sweet girl who had impressed him with her work ethic and skills and who had charmed all her students had so little self-esteem.

"To be fair to Irie-kun…he wasn't the only one I heard it from, nor was he the first. All my teachers since I was very little said the same thing — and it probably didn't help that Otousan and I moved around so much before he opened Fugoyoshi that I transferred from school to school in grade school." Kotoko said. "By the time I met Irie-kun, it was pretty much generally accepted knowledge how stupid I was."

"I cannot believe you're even defending that guy…"

"No…I'm not. Not really. But to be fair to him, I did some really stupid things when I was chasing after him…" Kotoko laughed ruefully, remembering some of her more memorable faux pas.

Wishing to distract Keita, Kotoko launched into an amusing narration of her more memorable antics in pursuit of Irie Naoki which after a few minutes had Keita laughing out loud despite his earlier irritation.

"But enough of Irie Naoki – I think he has monopolized my time enough this evening don't you think?" Keita said, leaning across the table and directing such a charming smile at Kotoko that it caused a couple of girls at a nearby table to be momentarily distracted though it was not directed at them. "And also, since I know all your deepest darkest secrets now, don't you think you can start calling me Keita?" He asked.

"Ok…Keita-san." Kotoko smiled shyly. "And…you may…you may call me Kotoko."

(The wattage of Kamogari Keita's smile could have powered a small town at this point and the girls at the next table almost swooned until they reminded themselves that he was obviously on a date.)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Oizumi-san, what an unexpected pleasure to see you so soon after our last meeting" Dr. Yamakura said, bowing to Sahoko. "Are we scheduled for a meeting today which I overlooked?" He frowned slightly, wondering if his secretary had double booked a meeting.

"Gomen nasai Yamakura-sensei..I am afraid I don't have an appointment. I came across some concerning information the other today and took a chance of speaking with in case you had a free moment?"

"I am afraid I have a meeting with Dr. Suzuki now….ah here she is…apologies Oizumi-San, will you mind writing? This shouldn't take long..". Dr. Yamakura replied, as Dr. Suzuki made her way towards them from the door.

"Ohayo Suzuki-sensei" Sahako bowed politely to the older woman, then turning to Dr. Yamakura came to the point — "Actually, the matter I wish to discuss involves the SPEd program so it may be good to speak with Dr Suzuki at the same time?"

Dr. Suzuki's eyebrows lifted infinitesimally as she exchanged glances with Dr. Yamakura. She had a bad feeling about this and personally, did not like Oizumi Sahoko (she always felt that Oizumi-san's perfection, almost painful politeness and social correctness was not quite…genuine? It always seemed to her like it was a thin veneer put on for the rest of the world).

"Of course — please, please both of you come in."

Very soon after they were seated and after the exchange of the usual pleasantries, Dr. Yamakura felt it best to cut to the chase.

"I understand you wished to discuss some concerns about the SPED program? Is there something in particular you wished to discuss?"

"Yes, I am quite curious Oizumi-san, the program is still in it's start up period but we are getting very good feedback." Dr. Suzuki chimed in.

"Of course…of course Suzuki-sensei and the reason I raise this concern is precisely because like you, I wish to make this program as successful as possible. So it is somewhat…concerning that I have been hearing issues surround it." Sahoko said suavely, her pleasant smile still pleasantly in place.

"And what exactly are these concerns Oizumi-San?" Dr. Yamakura inquired.

"Well it appears that in order to be a world class facility, we should be more selective about our staffing, wouldn't you agree?"

Dr. Suzuki bristled in umbrage — her staff were excellent and the students were happy. Where was this woman coming from?

Sahako continued on, choosing to ignore the incredulous looks she was getting.

"I assure you Oizumi-San, our staff have been hand picked for their skill and each of them is highly qualified and also come with glowing recommendations from colleagues in the profession. Why Kamogari-San for example, graduated at the top of his nursing class and placed in the top 10 of the national nursing board examinations. An of course you know that Irie-San is…" Dr. Yamakura explained, feeling offended at the attack on his team. Pausing, he quickly sent an urgent SMS on his telephone.

"Of course Yamakura-sensei." Sahoko said, interrupting the doctor. "Irie-san's qualifications are of course impeccable and I am sure Kamogari-san is exemplary as well. But understand you have a newer team member? Aihara Kotoko?"

"And what have you heard about Aihara- san?" Dr. Suzuki interjected. "She has been here only over a month but she is doing a wonderful job."

"But I understand that she barely passed Tonan University entrance? And that her grades even then were terrible all the way from high school? If we are to brand this program as the best in the country, do we really want someone with that academic background in our team? In fact, isn't she learning impaired herself?" Sahoko said, casting an innocent questioning look at the other two.

"That may be true Oizumi-san but if you will note, she had undiagnosed dyslexia until her first year of college. But she made very impressive progress after that and she DID graduate from Kyo-dai. ". Dr. Suzuki countered, extremely offended by Sahoko's declarations. "The fact that Aihara-san has dyslexia herself, makes her an even more valuable member of the team because she can empathize more with her students."

"I would think that her credentials…or the lack thereof…should be the better gauge? I am sure that the parents of our students would not be happy to know that someone so…impaired…is teaching their children?" Sahoko persisted.

Dr. Suzuki, now quite crimson in the face due to suppressed anger was about to retort but was unable to speak up as after a perfunctory knock from the outside, the door to Dr. Yamakura's office opened and Irie Naoki walked in.

"You messaged Yamakura-sensei?" Naoki said, bowing politely to all.

"Ohayo Irie-san. Please take a seat. You know Dr. Suzuki — and Oizumi-san of course?" Dr. Yamakura said baby way of greeting.

"Ohayo Suzuki-sensei, Oizumi-san." Naoki greeted before taking a seat across Dr. Suzuki

"Hello Naoki-san, no need to be so formal — we know each other very well after all." Sahoko responded, flashing what she thought was a very charming smile at him.

Naoki nodded and quickly turned to his mentor with a questioning look. "What is it I can do for youu Yamakura-sensei? You mentioned it was about the SPED?"

"Ah yes — Oizumi-san here had some serious concerns about Aihara sensei's work. I thought that as the medical liaison to the SPED program, you could give us your impressions and assessment of her work so far?"

Naoki was taken aback but quickly realized that perhaps, he had underestimated Sahoko's dislike of Kotoko all those years ago. He had not thought she still harbored any ill-feelings — but then again, he was never adept at figuring out other people's emotions. Recovering quickly, he replied. "Aihara-san is very good with her students. She has a talent for drawing out the best in them — perhaps because she is very good at forming empathetic bonds with others. To be honest, it has only been a short time that we have worked together on this project but…"

"Ah, but perhaps your personal feelings are getting in the way of your objectivity Naoki-san?" Sahoko interrupted.

(Rather rudely, thought Dr. Suzuki)

"I appreciate that due to your personal relationships with her, you are all very…shall we say sympathetic towards the poor girl?" Sahoko continued, a tinge of malice in her voice. "You DID inform them that Aihara-san is a close family friend, ne Naoki-san? And of course, I also heard that Suzuki-sensei was Aihara-san's mentor?"

"Gomen Oizumi-san but are you implying that…" Dr. Suzuki said hotly, quite offended at the implication of partiality.

"Of course not Suzuki-sensei — but you must realize that Oizumi Foundation can only associate itself with the best of the best. I could not possibly recommend to my grandfather the continuation of our funding for this program if the money is spent on the wrong staffing?" Sahoko said, a carefully innocent look on her face "As you know, there are many other equally deserving programs asking for our help…" she shrugged nonchalantly.

Dr. Yamakura and Dr. Suzuki exchanged worried glances — with the program being so new, they needed the funding from Oizumi Foundation. And there was the matter of the Charity Ball in two weeks where they had counted on Oizumi Foundation's influence to draw in more donors to fund the program. It would be an unmitigated disaster were Oizumi Foundation to pull out as a major sponsor — it was too close to seek out new sponsors.

"I am very sorry you feel that way Oizumi-san — is there there anything we can do to…" Dr. Yamakura asked, as Dr. Suzuki, whose patience was at an end, finally asked bluntly.

"And what would you have us do Oizumi-san"

"You are being quite direct Suzuki-sensei." Sahoko replied, taken aback as the direct challenge was unexpected. "I believe we all want the best for this program ne?"

Three pairs of eyes turned to look at Sahoko, who felt victory quite firmly in her grasp.

"I think that if you seriously wish to retain Oizumi Foundation's support, you will need to reconsider whether Aihara-san should remain on the program…otherwise…" Sahoko said then shrugged nonchalantly.

And Irie Naoki felt as if he was thrown back to years ago when she had dropped a similar ultimatum.

But now, as it was then, he had absolutely no intention of allowing her to get what she wanted.

Not if Irie Naoki could do anything about it.


	12. Chapter12Blooming

**Chapter 12**

**Blooming**

Sighing deeply, Kotoko began cleaning up her desk in preparation for lunch. It was one of those days when Kamogari Keita was still on duty and unable to join her and Irie Naoki had just left in a hurry after having been summoned on the PA system. And it was the latter who was top on mind for Kotoko as she absentmindedly went about tidying her desk. Naoki had been regularly making an appearance at the SPED at odd hours and when by some ill-fated chance that Keita happened to be there at the same time, it made for a very uncomfortable situation with the two men generally trading dagger looks and barbed comments at each other. But when he happened to catch her alone…. Needless to say, Kotoko was confused. He was so different from the Naoki she remembered and if she did not know better, she would have wondered if he was…trying to flirt with her?

This morning's visit had simply added more to Kotoko's discomfiture.

"Ohayo Kotoko." Naoki had said, surprising her. Kotoko had looked up to see him leaning lazily against the door jamb, looking his usual handsome self in his white coat.

"Ah…good..good morning Irie-kun."

"Surely after everything we've been through, you think you could call me Naoki by now." Naoki saiid with a crooked smile and a warmth in his eyes that Kotoko had never really seen before.

"Ah well, force of habit I suppose." She replied after regaining her equilibrium. "Was there anything you needed?"

"Not particularly." He answered, sauntering over to her and perching himself at the corner of her desk. "Do I always need an official excuse to see you?"

"Well, I guess not..we are old friends after all" Kotoko mumbled, wondering if she could discreetly stand up and move away - her options were limited however as Naoki was blocking the way between her desk and the small center aisle.

"Hmmmm. Friends? We did say we wold be friends last time…but I don't think we've ever been just friends were we Kotoko?" Naoki said, looking at her in such a solemn way that Kotoko suddenly felt the the blood rising in her face.

"You're right of course…Irie-kun…" Kotoko said, laughing a little ruefully as she recalled how much she had annoyed him. "I was more of a nuisance."

"You know that's not what I meant right?" Naoki said, a gentle smile making its way to his lips as against his better judgment and all his resolutions to take it slowly, he gave in to the urge to tuck that wayward strand of hair that always seemed to be escaping Kotoko's neatly coiffed bun.

Kotoko stilled – and looked at him with wide yes — and he wondered how she had survived all these years when her eyes reflected her every emotion — and right now, it showed a bit of fear, a lot of confusion, embarrassment and he hoped…an awareness of him as a man. She finally blushed and looked down, her eyes flitting every which way, intent on avoiding his.

Finally taking pity on her (and worried about how much control he had left before he grabbed her and kissed her), Naoki decided to back off.

"Actually, I am here at Okaasan's command this time — she said to remind you that you and Ojisan are invited to dinner on Sunday at our house. She said she mentioned it when you called but wanted to make sure you wouldn't forget."

"Oh yes! Otousan and I will be there at 5 pm." Kotoko responded animatedly, much relieved that Naoki had seemed to have reverted to his more "normal" self. "Will it just be the family?" She asked cautiously — inwardly instantly regretting it, for she feared Naoki and Sahoko would be there too and she wasn't entirely sure she cold survive a whole evening of THAT.

"Just us of course — Yuki has even roped me into helping him make dessert in your honor….who would have thought"

"Yuki-kun cooks now?" Kotoko blurted out delightedly.

"Well, not really – but he learned to make a decent chocolate cake — for white day you know…" Naoki explained humorously. "My little brother has a very interesting love life — compared to me at that age anyway."

Kotoko had to smile too.

"And you?" Naoki teased "Has your chocolate making improved as well over the years?"

"Not really…I haven't made any in…"Kotoko began and then halted — realizing what she was about to reveal.

But of course, this was Irie Naoki after all and he guessed what she could not say

"In four years?" He asked jauntily. "That's really good to know."

He was about to say more but then the PA system broke into the awkward silence and he had had to go.

Luckily, her morning classes began soon after. And with her rambunctious students monopolizing her attention, Kotoko had been blissfully prevented from having to analyze what had just happened.

A few hours later, with a feeling of relief, Kotoko set her lunch tray in the most out of the way corner of the cafeteria as she could find – not wanting a repeat of the past week's uncomfortable incident and the unwanted attention of Kamogari, Nishigaki and of all people, Irie Naoki. Since then, Kotoko had been making a conscious effort to avoid being the center of attention or otherwise be drawn into anymore displays of male testosterone fuelled competition. Luckily the coast seemed clear and with a satisfied smile, the young woman turned her attention to her meal. Unfortunately, her relief was short-lived as a shadow fell over her, blocking the light from the nearby window. Kotoko looked up to see a group of unfriendly faces in the distinctive Tonan University Hospital nurses' uniform surrounding her.

"May I help you?" Kotoko asked warily, wondering what possible business they could have with her as her dealings with the nursing staff were minimal if not non-existent. "I'm afraid I don't know any of you — have we met?"

"We haven't had the pleasure." Nurse Tsumugi Kaori said, directing a plastic saccharine smile at Kotoko "But we know who you are."

"Yes — you certainly get around…." The other nurse, Sakoro Naomi said with a sneer in her voice which caused the other nurses in the group to titter snidely.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean…have I offended you in some way?" Kotoko asked, keeping her voice even although she was extremely uncomfortable and to be honest, a bit terrified at what seemed to be a lynch mob out for her blood.

"Oh come on. That butter-wouldn't-melt-in-your-mouth act doesn't work on us like it does on your harem." Tsumugi said nastily.

"Excuse me?" Kotoko answered, she was about to rise from her eat, feeling distinctly at a disadvantage as they all seemed to be crowding and towering over her in her seated position.

"Look. We're just hear to deliver a very simple message —" Sakoro Naomi said, pushing Kotoko back down to her seat and preventing her from rising. "We've seen you flirting with the doctors and with Kamogari-san. Just so you know, they're out of bounds for you despite your prancing around acting all cute— if you know what's good for you. Although frankly, I don't get the attraction — you're just the shiny new toy…"

"I think you have the wrong person." Kotoko said firmly, holding her ground. "Kamogari-san and I are friends so I don't see why you would be concerned..And even if I were speaking to those doctors, shouldn't you be talking to them and not to me? I never sought them out."

"You're pretty brave for someone so outnumbered aren't you? Just make sure you stay away from the hospital wing and stay in your corner little mouse, or else…." Tsumugi followed, stepping closer. She was about to press down on Kotoko's other shoulder when her hand was stopped in mid-air by a strong masculine grip.

"Or else what Tsumugi-san?" Kamogari asked in a steely voice.

Immediately, Sakoro let go of Kotoko and Tsumugi stepped back — turning with a fake bright smile toward Kotoko's rescuer (though her eyes were shooting daggers at Kotoko), she changed her tack quickly. "Just a friendly chat with Aihara-san, Keita-san. We wouldn't want her getting the wrong reputation so early in her career would we?"

An equally fake smile made it's way to Keita's face as he answered blandly. "Of course Tsumugi-sempai. I am sure you all meant well — after all, the hospital has a very strict policy against bullying ne? We certainly wouldn't want Suzuki-sensei or Nurse Hosoi to get the wrong idea about you if this should happen again."

"Yes, it's soooo lucky that we were here to witness that this was just a misunderstanding…." Keita's friend Motoki Kikyou added with her own manufactured pleasant smile though the stress on the word "witness" conveyed her meaning quite clearly. With a huff, Tsumugi and Sakoro left, backs stiff with annoyance. Their posse had abandoned them as soon as Keita had arrived on the scene and the two ringleaders found the tables turned as they were outnumbered now by Kamogari, Shinagawa, Motoki and Tomoki.

It was only at this juncture that Kotoko noticed that Keita's friends had been with him when he arrived and she smiled at them, relieved to see that they, at least, were smiling genuinely at her.

"Well since we've cleared up that misunderstanding, the girls and I are heading back to the ward Keita-san." Marina said, casting an arch smile at Keita and Kotoko and noting that their normally female-allergic friend was hovering protectively over the small girl in the chair. "It was nice to meet you Aihara-san, and good job standing up to those bullies."

"Well — I'm still lucky you came along when you did. Arigato." Kotoko said, sending a relieved smile and a polite bow at the group.

"Ah, it was all Keita-san over here…" Motoki said, "Isn't he just our precious little knight errant?"

"Didn't you say you were needed at the ward?" Keita said irritably, casting a gimlet stare at his mischievously smiling friends.

With a wave from the other two and a lascivious wink from Motoki, the three friends got the very obvious hint and departed as Keita took the seat across from Kotoko.

"Are you ok?" He asked concernedly. "Those sempais think they are the queens of the nursing department — and they can be very nasty. They do this to all the new nurses too…."

"I'm ok Keita-san, I'm used to being bullied…" Kotoko said with a small bitter laugh "Although I am still glad you came when you did…it could have gotten ugly…"

Though she forced cheerfulness into her voice, there was slight quiver to her voice and Keita noticed a faint tremor in the tightly clasped fist on the table.

Reaching out — before he could think about why — he found himself placing his large, warm hand over hers, stilling the quivering.

"If I could, I would…." Keita started nervously, feeling as surprised and shy as Kotoko looked. He cleared his throat, trying to dislodge his heart which had seemed to have risen from his chest "If I could, I would protect you from every unpleasant, unhappy thing Kotoko-san."

Kotoko blushed, feeling lost and unsure and quite unprepared for this, and could find no response.

"Gomen nasai Kotoko-san. I had planned…well I hadn't planned…" Keita ploughed on, determined to finally say his piece and wanting the girl to know about the feeling that had slowly but surely been blossoming inside him since the day he met her in Kyoto. "This is not really how I planned to confess to you…" he laughed ruefully, embarrassed.

"This is…this is so sudden Keita-san…" Kotoko said faintly, equally embarrassed.

"I am not asking you for your response now Kotoko-san." Keita hurried to reassure her. "All I am asking for is a chance….I have…I have always been looking at you, and you alone since we met. And I'm not really good with this…I have always avoided love and relationships…" Keita tried to explain.

And though she tried to gently free her hand from his, he tightened his hold and tilted up her chin so that her eyes met his.

"I love you Kotoko-san — and if you will have me, I promise to make you happy. To make sure you never cry again. To make sure that every day, you will find a reason to smile. I am not asking you to say yes now Kotoko-san — at least think about it? Date me? And see if you like me?" Keita asked, with a quirky half smile and the charming dimple in his cheek making it almost impossible for Kotoko to process his words.

And unable to find an answer in her turmoil — for never had her heart beat so fast since….Irie Naoki — Kotoko merely nodded yes.

And across the room, the very same Irie Naoki who had been an unwelcome intruder in Kotoko's thoughts a scant few seconds before observed the scene and felt a sharp pang in hiss chest. Was he too late?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Are you really ok with this Koto-chan?" Aihara Shigeo asked, casting a sideways glance at his daughter and gladly noting that although the color in her cheeks was higher than normal, she otherwise looked calm and composed.

It was a lovely spring early evening as father and daughter headed to their erstwhile home, the Irie residence, for dinner. Once Kotoko had made the first telephone call to Irie Noriko that she was back in Tokyo, Noriko had assiduously kept in touch with Kotoko, with offers to meet and telephone calls every day. Although Kotoko had managed to prevent Mrs. Irie from coming to her workplace, it was harder and harder to say no to her invitations to come over for a meal. And though Kotoko got butterflies in her stomach (out of sheer nervousness ONLY she told herself) at the thought of having to see Naoki (and Sahoko) again, she DID want to see the other Iries, especially Yuki whom she had gotten closer to through their regular exchange of emails during her self-imposed exile to Kyoto.

It was not as if she DIDN'T see Naoki — lately he had taken to sporadically appearing at the SPED and as he was the medical consultant for the program, it wasn't as if she could shoo him away. Luckily, he seemed to have recovered from whatever temporary insanity had possessed him making Kotoko wonder if she had dreamed the entire thing except for the fact that Naoki and Keita seemed to have deepened their dislike for each other in the interim.

To Kotoko however, Naoki was perplexing – he fluctuated between the teasing and the sporadic visits to the SPED which made her feel unbalanced and confused by his cryptic comments and actions which she dared not interpret but which were somehow different from any other way they had ever interacted before. And then, on some occasions, he reverted to being unfailingly polite and other than the occasional "do-you -remembers" (which never failed to start Keita off into a sulk), he acted as if they were nothing but co-workers whose families just happened to know each other.

Which they WERE, Kotoko reminded herself firmly.

(But while Kotoko was oblivious, Kamogari Keita's sharp gaze registered the covertly gentle looks which Irie Naoki directed at Kotoko when the girl wasn't looking, nor did he fail to notice that 90% of the time, Irie's reasons for coming over were flimsy at best.)

Bringing herself back to the matter at hand, Kotoko smiled up at her father reassuringly, patting his arm. "I'm really ok with this Otousan. It's been a long and I HAVE missed Obasama and Ojisama – and I'm really looking forward to seeing Yuki again."

"And Naoki?" Shigeo asked his daughter gently, bringing up a subject that by an unspoken agreement, both had avoided for many years.

"I've made my peace with that Otousan — it's been so many years — and he is happily married now so…."

Shigeo stopped in his tracks in shock — could she not have known? But then again, he realized, he had never actually told her, simply assuming that the news had made its way to Kyoto or that her friends would have mentioned it. Turning to her, he tenderly turned his daughter towards him and looked down at her. He knew he had to tell her and it was as good a time as any.

"Kotoko — Naoki…he's not married."

The girl's eyes widened in shock and for long moments, she was speechless, opening her mouth as if to say something and then closing it again without saying a word until finally, "Not married Otousan? But…but I saw….and…the announcement…"

"What you saw was the engagement announcement in the papers — the actual wedding never pushed through." Shigeo said, not quite knowing where to begin. Looking over over at his daughter, it was easy to see she was in shock — but they were too close to the Irie residence to have any long discussions and just prayed she would be able to survive the evening.

As for Kotoko, shock and disbelief were the dominant emotions though a small niggling part of her was suffused with joy and relief. At the very least, she rationalised, Naoki was not being an unfaithful scumbag when….when (she finally admitted to herself) he flirted with her during their recent run-ins. She had seen the announcement and assumed that the wedding had been a quiet affair as she knew Naoki hated spectacles. It she had never asked anyone — knowing that while she was getting over him, details of the event could very possibly have sent her into a tailspin. And while the Oizumis were a prominent family, they were not from the Kansai region and she had also assumed that the Kansai press had simply not covered the event.

"What happened Otousan?" She finally ventured to ask "Why?"

"I'm not entirely sure myself Kotoko." Shigeo replied honestly. "And Shigeki-san once let slip that when the Yuino was formally cancelled, they all signed some sort of non-disclosure agreement to not talk about it. What I do know is that Naoki had refused to touch the money that the Oizumi's had committed to invest in Pandai. And then there was a very discreet announcement that the engagement was off —- and of course, everyone forgot all about this when Naomi launched Sakurai and it apparently turned the company around. I'm not sure if even his parents know exactly what happened between Naoki and Oizumi Sahoko"

Kotoko merely nodded, lost in thought. The two continued walking on in silence until Kotoko broke the silence. "Thank you for telling me Otousan, and don't worry about me. I won't lie that it's not a shock but, really, after all these years, it's really no my business anymore is it?"

Shigeo looked at his daughter and saw that while there was a smile on her face, the smile did not quite reach her eyes.


	13. Chapter13Growing

Sakura 13

Growing

Despite Shigeo's misgivings, the dinner at the Irie's was going well. He would have said it was like old times — except for the fact that unlike in the past, the bickering between Kotoko and the now almost-grown-up Yuki was more good natured than acerbic and Kotoko no longer spent most of her time hyper-aware of Naoki while casting longing glances in his directon.

"It's sooooo good to have all my children back in Tokyo!" Irie Noriko giving Kotoko a brief hug after she had set Yuki's masterpiece of a chocolate cake on the table. "Now that you are back Kotoko-chan, I expect you to join us for Sunday dinner every week, you hear?"

Kotoko returned the hug "I'll try Obasama."

"Try? What do you mean try? Of course you must be here and spend time with your family! Why…" Mrs. Irie began only to be interrupted by Naoki, who had been mostly quiet over the meal.

"Okaasan leave her alone." He said casting a glance at Kotoko. "She has a social life too you know."

"Yes mother." Yuki chimed in "What if Onee-chan has a date?"

Irie Noriko sputtered indignation. "Date? With whom? Have those awful young residents been bothering you?" Turning to Naoki, she gave her eldest an evil glare – how could he possibly let this happen?

"No, no. Nothing like that Obasama." Kotoko assured her with a small smile.

"Are you dating anyone?"

"Ah…well….that is…." Kotoko stammered in the face of Mrs. Irie's very un-Japanese like directness.

For a few seconds, the entire table was stunned into silence as five pairs of curious eyes focused on the young woman — the fifth pair (belonging to Irie Naoki) however was tinged with panic, quickly masked.

Taking a deep breath, Kotoko decided to just spit it out, reasoning that there was absolutely nothing to hide and that moreover, no one at the table would really care, when all was said and done.

"Kamagori Keita…from my work…he has asked me to date him."

Mrs. Irie looked like she was about to burst but a swift kick from her husband under the table and the fleeting look of panic on Naoki's face caused her to reconsider her words.

"Ah well…that is…nice." Mrs. Irie choked out, though it pained her to say it. "I am sure he is quite a…nice…young man."

"Well, yes." Kotoko said shyly. "We work together at the SPED program and he has been very helpful since I started."

"Oh I'm sure he has been…" Naoki muttered under his breath as Shigeo and Shigeki launched into almost feverish chatter to cover up for Irie Noriko's thunderous scowl while Yuki kept asking worried sidelong glances at his older brother, who looked almost bored…unless you knew him well enough to notice the tight set of his lips and how tightly he gripped his chopsticks.

"Well he certainly can't date my onee-chan unless I approve of this boyfriend first." Yuki teased, in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. "In fact, he'll have to get past my tests before…"

"Wait…wait…" Kotoko interrupted almost frantically, wondering why she felt so panicked — after all, was it not her right to date whomever she pleased? "He's not my boyfriend…we are just dating…"

Irie Noriko's murderous look lightened perceptively. "Not your boyfriend?" She pounced. "Well…that's good then…after all, it's just dating…and you know, young people break up all the time…" she muttered to herself, ignoring the pleading looks from the men in her household for her to stop.

"Hey!" Yuki suddenly jumped up, rattling the table in his haste "Who wants desert? I need you to tell me how great I am baking this chocolate cake on my own."

"So it turned out well this time?" Naoki asked teasingly, sending a grateful look towards his outouto for diffusing the mood.

"Well…it's certainly better than anything Onee-chan ever tried to poison us with!" Yuki said leering at Kotoko. "I can at least guarantee no one will end up in the hospital like I did the last time she…"

"Yah! Brat!" Kotoko objected loudly "That wasn't even because of my cooking!"

"Close enough!" Yuki said, smiling cheekily at her. "Why don't you atone for your sins by helping me in the kitchen?"

Eager to get away from the table and dealing discomfited by the searching looks she noticed coming from Naoki's direction, Kotoko gladly followed Yuki to the kitchen.

The two worked in silence as Yuki iced the cake and Kotoko set out dessert plates and cutlery. Kotoko's hand stilled – recalling the last time she had been in this kitchen all those years ago and how sad she had been.

"You ok Onee-chan?" Yuki asked, noticing the pensive look on Kotoko's face.

Kotoko quickly recovered herself and gave him a little smile. "Yes…yes. I guess I'm just feeling a bit strange…everything is exactly where it was since I've been here…it's like nothing has changed…"

"Well Mother is a creature of habit after all.." Yuki replied casually, though the look he turned Kotoko's way was anything but. "But actually…so much has changed Kotoko-chan. You just haven't realized it yet."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The rest of the dinner had passed more or less uneventfully although at some point, Shigeo and Shigeki had broken out the sake and were blissfully drunk, almost passed out at the dining table.

Noriko had gratefully accepted Kotoko's offer to clear up and had bid the rest goodnight an with a reminder to Kotoko to return the following weekend had, decamped to her bedroom after Shigeo and Shigeki had started singing. Yuki, with a meaningful look at his brother had declared he was going upstairs to call his girlfriend and kissed Kotoko goodnight on the cheek — and ruffled her hair , emphasizing how much taller than her he had gotten.

"I guess they're pretty much out for the count…" Naoki said as he sauntered into the kitchen and without another word, reached for the plate Kotoko had just washed and began methodically drying it.

Kotoko laughed ruefully. "I guess they missed each other a lot…I know Outosan did."

Naoki remained quiet and Kotoko suddenly became aware of how close he was. And she felt…unnerved. The silence was getting awkward, to her at least…for Naoki looked as if he hadn't a care in the world.

"And what has gotten into you Irie-kun? You never used to help with kitchen chores before." Kotoko said, hoping her voice was cheerful (and that it didn't betray how flustered she felt).

"Let's just say that living way from home gave me a better appreciation for the things Mother does to take care of us." Naoki replied easily, hoping his voice sounded casual (and that it did not betray how much he wished that THIS were their home, that SHE was his wife and that after the chores were done, he could take her in his arms).

Kotoko smiled. "Yes, Obasama is wonderful…I am so grateful to have gotten to be her daughter for those short years we stayed with you…she taught me so much…except cooking of course…but certainly how to keep house."

"And these housekeeping skills…" Naoki said, before he could restrain himself "Will you be employing them to take care of Kamogari?"

Kotoko stammered, caught completely unaware and wondering if he were serious or if like in the past, he was making fun of her again. "Of course not! I mean…we're not that serious…not that stage…"

"Good to know." Naoki said unrepentantly, looking at her and branding the image of her blushing face in his mind as he caught the little hand handing him the plate and held it fast.

Kotoko nodded dumbly, deciding that the better course of action was to just ignore Naoki — who did not seem to be his usual self. She managed to extricate her hand from his grip and handed him the last of the dishes, avoiding his gaze.

"Arigato for your help Irie-sensei."

"Ah…so we're back to "sensei" again?" Naoki teased. "I think after all we've been through you would be used to calling me by my name by now."

"It feels….well…strange. Can we stick to Irie-kun then?" Kotoko said

"For now." Naoki smiled "Just don't fall in love with Kamogari too fast ok?"

"Why…I mean…what do you mean?" Kotoko asked, after she had recovered from her shock.

"Just that." Naoki replied, the corner of his lips curling up in a rare smile, though he didn't look at the sputtering girl next to him. "Don't you think other people deserve a chance too? After all, Kamogari has an unfair advantage by getting to work with you almost every day."

"If you're talking about those obnoxious doctors that keep hovering…don't be ridiculous!" Kotoko said in indignation.

"Maybe." Naoki replied "Or maybe they're closer than you think."

A long silence ensued — and seeing the high color on Kotoko's cheeks, Naoki felt like he had achieved his goal. Maybe, or at least he hoped, he had planted a little seed in her mind.

"You know…" Kotoko began again after a while "You really need to stop talking in riddles like this…you never used to be like this…"

"It's been a long time Kotoko — like I keep telling you, you should maybe consider that I've changed. Now come and get your coat and I'll take you home. I think your father is pretty much out of it and will spend the night."

Unsure how to react, Kotoko merely nodded and went for her coat.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The drive to Kotoko's apartment was pleasant and quiet. One thing Naoki noticed about this new and grown up Kotoko was that she seemed more introspective and quiet.

He looked over at his passenger as he stopped an intersection and realized she had fallen asleep, childlike in repose —- and knowing that no one would see, he gave in to the urge to tuck a stray strand of her hair behind her ear and pull her muffler more snugly around her, as the spring night still held a chill.

And yet, the quiet was not unpleasant. It was…different. Different but good. And certainly, it was not the tense, uncomfortable silence that he used to endure whenever he and Sahoko had been alone in the car, when he always felt her silent censure for his failure to converse with her — or the weight of her unspoken expectation for him to start acting more like a loving fiancé.

For the brief half hour that it took him to drive through the light traffic this late in the evening, Irie Naoki found himself wondering if this were how it would feel if they were a couple driving to their home, with maybe a small child asleep in her arms.

And he realized that it was something that he had never dreamed of before.

But the dream was here now.

And it was a hard one to shake.

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AUTHOR' NOTE : My apologies for the long period between updates. Work has been killing me lately so I fear the weekly updates are no longer possible. This story is nearing the end, maybe 3-4 chapters left and they are so difficult to write! Wish me luck! And of course, reviews are very much appreciated.


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